[Chibi Chibi]

My husband and I have been married for over 13 years now; I'll admit that due to a childhood experience I’m a bit reserved in regards to sex. I love my husband and treasure him but he's pushing me away with his request. For awhile now he's been asking for "Everything", the everything being an inclusion of anal and oral in our play time.
Now I have tried anal with him 4 times, we never get too far because it hurts alot. We've tried different things each time with no success and I just don't want to try anymore, I don't like the pain. In regards to oral, the mere thought of semen in my mouth makes me gag. If I even see semen I start to gag, no joke (it’s kind of embarrassing). I've only been with two people, my husband and the person who I believe caused the reservations.
He keeps bugging me for it, I feel like a freak cause I don't want to, and I'm not sure if my dislike is normal or if I’m just screwy. Every time I have tried it I feel ...... well let’s just say I don't feel myself. Am I losing my mind or is my dislike normal?

[Hopeless Dork]

You are entitled to your likes and dislikes and your husband should respect your bounderies.

That being said, does he perform oral on you? Anal sex I can understand not providing due to pain, that one is a gift and should never be expected unless willing.

Oral on the other hand, is not something that hurts. Your aversion to semen could be handled by simply him not orgasm in your mouth.

Would you be willing to meet him half way on any of it? Again its not normal or abnormal when it comes to personal choice but couples really should lend themselves to compromise if at all possible to keep both parties content.

[thegoodstuffguy]

You're not a freak, you just have different sexual standard.

Guys tend to be more sexually pushy than girls, and especially when you have been married a long time, afterall you have committed to being faithful to your partner so if he's not going to be able to try it with you, he's not going to be able to at all!

Having said that, you HAVE tried it with him 4 times no less and have good reason not to want to try again. You shouldn't feel forced into doing anything uncomfortable, and he certainly shouldn't be pressuring you to - it's just not fair or respectful.

aside from the pain aspect do you ahve anything against anal play? What I mean is, if it was not painful, would you be happy to integrate it into your sexual routine? If so, then I think the onus is on him to make sure he's not going to hurt you. there is plenty of advice on this available, and I suspect he just hasn't done the research or isn't very patient. Either way it's just him being lazy, and thats not on.

If he wants the reward he should be willing to put in the work! Most people would balk at even trying anal once, you've let him try 4 times! If he wants a 5th shot, he needs to put in the work first I think.

As for Oral, have you considered the following possible solutions:

1. favoured condoms. If he wants you to go down on him, the least he can do is try it this way first.

2. if it's the taste that bothers you, what about using flavoured body paint, whipped cream or other similar substances to hide the taste? if it's just the mental thought of his member in your mouth, or the idea of his semen there then things area little more difficult and I can't really suggest anything for that.

Overall though - no, you're not a freak, he has no right to make you feel like one and you don't need to do anything you're not confortable with. if there's a compromise that can be found, so much the better, but at the end of the day he's got no right to force you into anything, and it speaks badly for him if he tries.

[WildChild]

WE've had discussion before on overcoming an aversion to oral. WHy not do a search and see if any of the ideas appeal? You don't have to swallow, you don't have to take to ejaculation.

[rcoreyus]

Is he willing to everything you want in bed and is he a considerate lover?

[Chibi Chibi]

TY

Thanks for the advice, i'll try talking to him and researching all the "ideas". Glad someone other then me doesn't think I'm wierd.

[Guest]

My husband and i do anal sex it doesnt hurt if you use loads of KY and are really relaxed it really turns my husband on and gives him really big orgasms
but its not for everyone

[Theresa]

My husband and i do anal sex it doesnt hurt if you use loads of KY and are really relaxed it really turns my husband on and gives him really big orgasms
but its not for everyone

Mrs. Doodles - I would love to try anal with my husband but have not had any luck talking him into it. Does it do anything for you tho? I just think that making my man happy in bed is my job and I am willing to do anything with him and to him.

[golden_nemesis]

Mrs. Doodles - I would love to try anal with my husband but have not had any luck talking him into it. Does it do anything for you tho? I just think that making my man happy in bed is my job and I am willing to do anything with him and to him.

It does loads for me. I have some pretty awesome orgasms from anal penetration. Just last night, I was having trouble coming, body was just not quite going to the right space. We had already had 69ed, and had vaginal sex, and he had been going down on me for a while, and I was still not coming. So he used the magic move, lubed up a finger and put it in my bum while he licked my clit. I exploded within thirty seconds in an intense orgasm, nearly climbing up the wall (in a good way).

It works just as well when we are having anal sex and he is rubbing my clit. So no, anal sex does not just have to be something you do for your man, but something you do for each other. Maybe ask him to finger your bum during vaginal or oral sex as a jumping off point.

[KimmyC]

To the OP:

I feel exactly the same way about oral! My boyfriend and I have been together just over 14 months now, and the past few months he has been begging more and more to do oral on him. He's done it on me a couple times, which I don't really care for. Meh. But I wanna do my part for him and make him feel good also. We are not having actual intercourse until marriage (for reasons due to ex's), so I feel like this is the only thing I can do. I too can't stand the thought of having that part of a man near my face, much less my mouth! But I just don't have the heart to tell him that. It smells funny, and it tastes weird. I had a previous ex who literally forced me to go down on him. And in doing so, he would push me down and make me stay there. But he was nice enough to let me come up before he came in my mouth. I've told my boyfriend this is the main reason I do not want to do it, for fear he will treat me the same way. But I don't want to completely erase the thought of doing it, for fear he will give up and move on from me.

I just don't know how to tell him I get a little disgusted each time I think about doing oral on him. I feel terrible, even when he says it's ok, cuz I know it's not. And I told him whenever I do decide to do it, it will be in the shower, so if I need to spit, there's no cleaning up Everytime he asks me if I will do it, I tell him I think about it a lot, and that I think I'm closer to doing it. I don't know though...I just think it's a little selfish of men to be asking their lady to do this type of sexual act when she doesn't think it very flattering...

Ugh!