[Hopeless Dork]

Helpful Stuff

What a thought out and honest response. I hope male will listen to some of your words, coming from a guy he may pay them more attention.

As an aside...I don't think bisexuality or bicurious thoughts should be an excuse for infidelity... but I think if a girl comes forward with these interests a guy shouldn't belittle her for them or make her feel bad but also shouldn't accept her going out and cheating either. Perhaps they could explore the interest together through movies and fantasy and then if it can't be avoided... deciding to bring some else into the equation only if they both agree to it and set bounderies together ahead of itme.

[Male]

None of you have told me anything I didn't know. Its just all really ugly. "Live by the philosophy of "I don't screw around on my girlfriends. I screw around with them.""

That's it. That's ugly.

And I didn't say "C" didn't have an orgasm, I'm saying she could have lied to me. That's the other point for me. No matter how well you know someone, no matter what, they can betray you.

Look. Prove me wrong, okay? I don't like knowing this thread is out there, I want to get over it, forget it.

Show me there's one woman in this world who is worthy of trust. Delete this thread.

[WildChild]

Interesting manipulative technique but it won't get past the site rules.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

True WC.

Your turning this into a "Pity Thread".....

Do you really want to be perceived as a whinning person?

How about you tell us what your good at then, why women should date you, what you have to offer and exactly what type of female you would date, in it's entirety.

CW

[Male]

Interesting manipulative technique but it won't get past the site rules.

You delete spam, you could if you wanted to like another admin said.

Why does it matter to you? This thread is painful for me. It hurts me. Okay. I'm not lying, I'm not manipulating you. I don't want it out there. Simple? And yes, it does make this point very clearly. If I can't trust a dozen women who are supposed to be moderators and administrators of a women's health site to delete an unpleasant, unrelated post when requested to by the author of that post, how am I supposed to have a relationship with one of you?

Why do you not want to delete it? Do you think my suffering adds to the community? I don't. I think you don't want to delete it because I asked it of you. If I tell you that having this post here hurts me, and you refuse to delete it, how can I take your advice on how not to get hurt?

[WildChild]

We accepted a certain responsiblity and have rules which we have to follow in doing so. It is that simple. That has nothing to do with you personally or with our wishes or desires. There have been times that I have posted things that I later realised would have been better left unsaid, I have left them alone because I apply the same rules to my own posts, as I do to others.

If having started this, it is causing you suffering, that is your chosen response. You could as easily chose to forget it or to not be bothered by it. No one knows who you are or can identify you here.

Coming to understand how much of our "feelings" are actually choices, is part of the maturation process. Some people come to it early in life and others never do. The simple truth is no one ever "makes" you feel or respond in any particular way, you chose. For example many people will say that someone, made them mad. Not true, they chose anger as their response to whatever that person did or said. They could as easily chose to be amused or to ignore it. You might find Viktor Frankel's book, Man's Search For Meaning, a worthwhile read.

Not to discount the validity or reality of anyone's feelings. They are very real but for the most part, they are still choices. We may have learned our response patterns so early in life that we are unable to recognise them but we need to own them and take responsibility for them. Maybe you should look at why you are so disturbed by this? Many people would simply forget it.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Because if we didn't give a shirt, then we wouldn't be "bothered wasting our time" yep our time replying to you each time. Now would we?

Get over the delete thread bit it's not going to happen and the Admin has already explained to you why...

So you didn't answer my question anyways.

Note to self, that took 2 minutes to reply, valuable time but worth it cause this little guy actually may listen eventually....

CW

[Male]

Here's what I see.

This thread was a "pity thread" to start with. There was no possible good that could come of it. Yes, I can forget about it. But you could help me with that by deleting it. You can delete it. "a certain responsibility and have rules which you follow", that's bull "shirt" and you know it.

What I feel is like you all are torturing me and enjoying it on whatever level. You feel like its "tough love" or you feel like its good for me. Its not. I don't fit in, I'm never going to fit in. Everything you've suggested, all of you, even that guy (edit), I tried it. It didn't work for me.

So now, you resort to telling me that its my fault how I feel about all this. Well, next time someone tells me that they would like me to do something that's simple for me and would make them feel better, I'm going to tell them its their fault, their choice for feeling that way. Next time I hear of a girl being raped, I'll say she could have chosen to enjoy it. I'll see how far that gets me.

Thanks for all your wonderful advice.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yep it was a pity thread... and the fact you use the word "shirt" you either have good manners or your used to Forums, one in particular comes to mind where there is a vote to delete pity threads. Is that why you think we can delete this one?

Anyways:-

So now, you resort to telling me that its my fault how I feel about all this. Well, next time someone tells me that they would like me to do something that's simple for me and would make them feel better, I'm going to tell them its their fault, their choice for feeling that way. Next time I hear of a girl being raped, I'll say she could have chosen to enjoy it. I'll see how far that gets me.

Yes it is your fault... Because you choose to see everything in the NEGATIVE light..

A girl raped has no choice and please do not reference that sort of rubbish.... it's un-called for.

Now that you've gotten past the Pity Thread, (your words) it "was", that means it's not now...

Ask us as Women how you stop being negative and how you stop attracting the wrong women into your life ...

CW

[WildChild]

This kind of reasoning is specious and unproductive.