[Hopeless Dork]

If he did actually say those words to you and thats not just what you assumed he thought, he definitely didn't help your sex phobia with that kind of attitude. When you are with the man that treats you like you deserve to be treated, and you feel love, you will be more apt to return that love in all forms.

And just because you don't like something now , does not mean you will always feel that way. Before my boyfriend, I could never imagine enjoying sex the way that I do now. The difference is how I feel about it.

I was also sexually abused but instead of being put off sex, I acted out sexually in my teenage years, though didn't really enjoy it. I always got pleasure in masturbating but when I would have sex with someone I was vacant, uninterested in my own pleasure, I also never had sex with anyone I had true feelings for. I didn't like performing oral sex though I would attempt it, I didn't want the guy to finish in my mouth and thought that it would be gross.

After falling in love with my boyfriend all my feelings changed, one... he put me so at ease that I was able to relax and let go with him, our sex brings me pleasures I never imagined possible. I am now extremely fond of oral sex and look forward to his ejaculations with anticipation , because I know it makes him feel good and I love it.

I never imagined I would , and here now I do. I am not saying you will feel differently tommorrow... I am just saying that don't think the way you feel now will always feel the same. All it takes is finding the right guy, or the right guy finding you. Someone that makes you feel safe and loved and when you are into him with all your heart your feelings towards his semen will likely change dramatically.

[Husband and Wife]

Well, sex gross you out and I may understand. As a Christian as you are, you NEED to understand that God created all that stuff that gross you out: Semen, fluids, odors, etc. So did God commit a flaw by creating all that stuff? If not, then you need to start to ENJOY this stuff. Being sexually abused when 13 is one thing. You would STILL have to learn to enjoy this stuff.

It is a mental excersise. You can enjoy it if you want.

[Little_Man_in_the_Boat]

Is sad to hear about what happened to you at the tender age of 13.

I would say you have a negative association with semen, which is the tip of the iceberg.

What really grosses you out is what is connected to that ...

I believe you have to reprogram yourself, to revisit that situation but with your partners semen.

Lets face the fact that sex is very messy, we as humans urinate, defecate, ejaculate etc.

Sex can either be an incredibly beautiful thing or monstrously horrible.

Making love to some one that you love is really the ultimate way of expressing your love for them and their love for you.

If your fortunate enough to reach the point that will ultimatley lead to orgasm you'll experience heaven, for me on the end of orgasm it felt like a out of body experience its almost like your souls touch for a moment in time whatever those natural opiates do its one incredible experience beyond what I have ever experienced in my entire life.

In fact I would say its a defining moment in your life that is life changing.

There are no regrets, no hangover, no sickness, no headaches, just a moment in time that leaves you feeling refreshed, in love, peaceful, amazed, and recharged.

[Lostwithoutyou081280]

i have a question, i'm not disgusted completely by sex.
I get aroused and i even have sex regularly with my boyfriend.

Sometimes, i get disugsted with myself, after i cum. Is this normal?
OR am i a freak of nature?

[WildChild]

In what way are you disgusted? For having sex? Or for your response to it? Or cleaning up after? What is it that disgusts you?

[Lostwithoutyou081280]

in the way that, only sometimes i feel digusted with my self.
I find myself asking questions like " is this right?" or even " am i doing it right?"

Could it just be because i'm now an equal partner in a fair relatinoship and have to take control or take part int he actual process of sex where as before in an unhealthy relationship i was stuck doing nothing.. and basically not really invovled feeling mroe forced than anything when having to have sex

[Lucian]

A new perspective?

This is perfectly fine. You seem like an asexual. An asexual person is someone who is not sexually attracted to people and or someone who does not want to engage in sexual activity. Asexuality is a sexual orientation which is fairly obscure. The asexual orientation is as healthy, natural, and normal an orientation as any other.

I think you are a sex-repulsed asexual. A sex-repulsed asexual is someone who is grossed out by sex. If you are repulsed, this is perfectly fine and acceptible. Being grossed out by oral sex is normal. I can't imagine anyone who would want a phallus in their mouth. I have a penis and the idea of putting it in someone mouth grosses me out to my core. This stems from my being a sex-repulsed asexual.

You should look up a website called AVEN. This site is devoted to asexuals. Also, use other sites to research this orientation. If upon researching asexuality, you decide you're not asexual, remember some sex-repulsed people aren’t asexual-spectrum. Whatever your feelings about sex are, it is perfectly okay to feel the way you do, and there is nothing bad, abnormal or wrong about your feelings.

Asexuals can love and be loved. Sex is simply not a part of the way in which they wish to express their love for someone. Asexuals have what are called "romatic orientations". These orientations simply denote who an asexual likes. A heteroromantic asexual is someone who loves people of the opposite sex/gender, but does not wish to have sex with them. A homoromantic asexual is someone who loves people of the same sex/gender, but does not want to have sex with them. Biromantics love people of both sexes/genders, but want no sexual contact either. When two asexuals are in a relationship, they will cuddle, kiss, hold hands, and other things. When an asexual is in a relationship with an allosexual person, their must be compromises.

You can do what you like. Don't you understand that the world won't stop turning?

Take care and let go of any shame you might have for not wanting sex! -Lucian