[kira]

Actually the better sex is and the more likely I am to have an orgasm the less I'm thinking about anything. When she says she's thinking about nothing it may not mean she isn't paying attention to what's going on. It probably just means she's not having stray thoughts, which is good, not worrying too much about what she should be doing, which is also good, and also not making up any sexual fantasies, which is useful for some but not necessary. I never found my conscious mind to be any good at sexual fantasy. I have a very vivid imagination and got through the boredom of highschool making up stories and places in my head pretty much from the time I woke up until school ended 8hours later. My subconscious can play out sex dreams to the point of giving me orgasms in my sleep. When I'm doing things while awake though it is most effective to think about nothing in particular.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Excepting, it appears that she does think about "something" when she is using a vibrator. There she is in her own space, own sphere, no one in front of her and she can be herself, let herself go.

I think that's more to the point of the problem, she can't relax enough and feel loved enough and let herself go with you, NOT because of you but because she "hasn't got her head around it"..

I suspect that her previous partner was "sex" no love, no foreplay and she's finding herself and embarrased.

You need to make her feel, beautiful, sexy, alive and it's all about her and that just seeing her makes you want to cum, she is that beautiful, in-other-words, if a woman feels that a man finds her so sexual/sensual she will let go and be that person.

She does with the vibrator because, it's non-threatening and she doesn't have fear.

Take away her fear.

CW

[cPoo]

The other day she was masturbating via web cam (we are apart at the moment) and she started laughing. I asked her what was up and she said she just remembered something funny that happened a few days ago

I dunno maybe that works for her but it seemed odd to me.

She has mentioned that masturbating with me around makes her feel "nervous" (not sure if that is the right word) and it takes her longer to come with me around.

We did talk about getting a book before, maybe I'll get her one for xmas. An orgasm for xmas would surely make her year lol.

[Awoman2]

Usually, what's on my mind is that I simply can't get enough of him. Never a blank mind, it's always on him and me and what we're doing.

If it's a bad experience, and I haven't had one of those in a while and never with this guy, it's usually "Just hurry up and get the (edit) off me!" Or is that what I say aloud?

[WildChild]

Well I've never used a web cam for sex but doubt that for most women it's quite the same thing as if she was on her own. The mind really is the biggest sexual organ so mental state is key. Perhaps more directly so for women. Men have everything up front, so to speak, sexually. You guys have had a very direct feed back loop for sexual response all your lives, you can see it and feel it and sometimes so can everyone else.

Woman have everything tucked away, not immediately visable, no obvious errection, we do get engorged with arousal but it's not right there, upfront and center. Combined with all the messages not to touch, makes it harder for many women to recognize or respond to their own arousal. It can take a greater level of consciousness for women to get there than it does for men. Patience and loving encouragement can go a long way.

[Texasred]

1/2 is focused on me getting off

1/2 is doing whatever at the moment makes him yell, grunt, say my name, ****, or anything else. Tells me he's nuts for me which adds to my off.

sorry, that's all the room my brain has for subjects. We're to busy for anything else

Seems a nice balance!