[LanaBear]

Don't worry, it will take some time. It hardly ever happens as the great 1st time that people perceive it will be. I just remember feeling like I was going to split in two, it was horrible!

You may want to try with you on top, that way you can control how deep and how fast the penetration is. It may or may not work, but it's worth a shot...

[kira]

I find on top ends up putting things in deeper with more friction because of my own body weight pressing down and the position of my legs. It does allow me to control how much movement there is and how fast it goes in but I can't maintain a position that keeps me up in the air long enough to keep his penis from going all the way in even deeper than it would have in other positions.

You do need to get him to back off. He may not be able to go all the way in the first few times you have sex. He needs to settle for part way if he wants to finish and not hurt you. What is the problem with missionary with your legs lower? Just that he can't get all the way in and wants to? Have him only go part way in and do short movements or rocking motions instead of trying to thrust all they way in and out. Doing that may even make you aroused and wet enough for him to move farther without it hurting. You can also do missionary position without him moving and just you moving against him. I think a big problem here is he's losing patience and trying to do too much too fast.

Another thing that might help is to start with a toy. Get something a bit narrower but plenty long enough and use that. Either he can or you can.

[LanaBear]

I find on top ends up putting things in deeper with more friction because of my own body weight pressing down and the position of my legs. It does allow me to control how much movement there is and how fast it goes in but I can't maintain a position that keeps me up in the air long enough to keep his penis from going all the way in even deeper than it would have in other positions.

Definitely something to consider, I personally don't have that problem.

But if you lean forward and put your hands up above his shoulders, you move some of the weight from your legs to your arms and you don't have to rely on your legs as much and again, have more control over the penetration. In my experience anyways.

Another plus with this is that for women who enjoy their breasts played with, it puts them in a good location for his mouth.

[Guest]

Have him give you oral, slowly, to lubricate yourself. If he doesn't know how tell him, where it feels good, relax, breathe, grab his hair and guide him to where it feels good. Faster, slower, circular what ever makes you feel better.

[110109]

well we tried everything but he is determined to go all the way in me and says that he won't finish until im ready and used to the pain no matter how many times we have to try because he says he wants to "feel me" and have me b on the same level as him. He told me he wants me to never forget about it and be fully satisfied and that once i get used to the pain and can handle him going all the way in me that im going to like it. It's kind of nice I guess but it just frustrates me and makes me want to cry when he can't finish because I can't take the pain because I feel like it's all my fault and I don't know how many more times I can go through with feeling that again. The last time I actually started to get mad because he gets too caught up in the moment and hurts me and then he starts to feel bad and keeps apologizing. We have literally tried like 8 times and he can't finish because he will start off slow but then gets too into it and forgets and starts to go too hard and then lifts my legs up and thrusts all the way in and it hurts so bad that I instantly lose the mood and tighten up and then he will try to get me back into the mood and I can't relax and then he loses it. It's such a mess. He jokes and says that we would get through it if I wouldn't stop him but I tell him it's his own fault he can't finish because he won't listen to what I'm telling him. He says that he knows and that he tries but that I get him too worked up and that he can't control himself and gets too rough when he's almost at his peak. I end up so frustrated at the end but then we just laugh about ti because I really have never heard about this situation happening and I feel like it's me because I get too tense.

[Texinator]

All the focus should be on you. You're the one that needs to get comfortable. So right now it's not that important if he can't finish inside you and he really needs to slow down more and pay attention to how you're doing than on his orgasm.

[Mes T]

Sorry but in my book that's unacceptable, him just goin' for it when you are clearly in pain? He's a lousy and most importantly disrespectful lover and quite frankly needs to slow down and be educated or shown the door. Good luck.

[Guest]

My boyfriend and I waited a long time to have sex, and it was also both of our's first time when we did. I think the thing that help me the most was his fingers. Through out the months we weren't having sex, he used his fingers alot. At first one finger hurt and then after a while we kept increasing the number of fingers. I really believe this was key in not having painful sex.

[newhere808]

We have literally tried like 8 times and he can't finish because he will start off slow but then gets too into it and forgets and starts to go too hard and then lifts my legs up and thrusts all the way in and it hurts so bad that I instantly lose the mood and tighten up and then he will try to get me back into the mood and I can't relax and then he loses it. It's such a mess. He jokes and says that we would get through it if I wouldn't stop him but I tell him it's his own fault he can't finish because he won't listen to what I'm telling him. He says that he knows and that he tries but that I get him too worked up and that he can't control himself and gets too rough when he's almost at his peak. I end up so frustrated at the end but then we just laugh about ti because I really have never heard about this situation happening and I feel like it's me because I get too tense.

I'm sure you don't want to hear something like this, but if what you've said here is true, it really sounds like the two of you aren't ready to be having sex with eachother. A good friend of mine (since gradeschool) used to complain about her husband, and how having sex with him was often painfull. A lot of it was his attitude about it and the way it made her feel. Once they got their marriage on track things seemed to work out a whole lot better for her, but they needed to work through a lot of garbage.

I do not wish to insult your boyfriend, but even though it may seem like patience on his part, it sounds to me that he is waiting for his payoff. Sex should be pleasureable, if it's not, then something is wrong, and those problems could be emotional as well as physical. It may be possible that deep down your really not as into it as you think.

It's similar with us guys, if there is any distraction, any frustration anything that removes our want to be there with a woman, performance will suffer greatly and often an erection won't even occur if there is some type of emotional/mental issue.

I hope you guys can work it out, maybe work on feeling safe with him before working on "feeling" him.