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  • the wench
    Veteran Member
    • Dec 2009
    • 239

    can your doctor not prescribe any kind of pills that might make you feel the need 2 want sex rather than it just being a chore?

    Comment

    • ItsASecret
      APRIL 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH
      • Apr 2009
      • 3721

      can your doctor not prescribe any kind of pills that might make you feel the need 2 want sex rather than it just being a chore?
      No such thing exists, if there were it would be a multi-billion dollar profiting medication and millions upon millions of women would already be lined up in the doctors office to get it. I am thinking I should get a PhD in pharmacology and make something that would work .
      There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

      Comment

      • Mes T
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2009
        • 2678

        Originally posted by ItsASecret
        No such thing exists, if there were it would be a multi-billion dollar profiting medication and millions upon millions of women would already be lined up in the doctors office to get it. I am thinking I should get a PhD in pharmacology and make something that would work .
        Ha! I'd rather pay money for this pill to NOT get invented, because it would just cover up problems that could easily be changed, with communication, understanding, and love... not money and drugs.

        It's like the wife who stays at home and gets depressed. YAY let's give her anti-depressants and numb her to the things around her, when in fact she might have just been depressed because she doesn't have friends, her husband comes home late at night drunk, and she feels like a useless member of society because she stays cooped up in the house all day.

        Comment

        • asiangrace
          Veteran Member
          • Nov 2009
          • 281

          Originally posted by Mes_T
          That sounds to me a lot like my situation with my last boyfriend.

          I enjoyed being passionate with him in EVERY respect EXCEPT penis-in-vagina intercourse.

          When two people touch, make out, etc, they receive pretty much the same amount of stimulation and enjoyment.

          But with intercourse, since a man and woman's needs tend to be so different, it's very easy for ONE person to be getting most of the enjoyment and not the other.

          Bottom line, since you can and like being sensual in other ways, I'm convinced that your boyfriend just isn't fulfilling your needs. This could be because:
          a) He doesn't care enough to (which I doubt)
          b) You fake enjoyment well enough that he doesn't know any better

          The latter was definitely true with my ex, as I was worried about hurting his feelings if I told him the truth about what does and doesn't work for me.

          Question: Have you ever had an orgasm? And I mean by yourself? If not, then it'd be great to spend some time learning how to pleasure yourself. You can then teach your partner how to do the same thing for you. And then, after you've had an orgasm, intercourse would probably feel a lot more enjoyable.

          What WC said is absolutely true. This can't go on indefinitely, one or both of you will end up miserable.
          Make me glad I'm not the only one!! I can honestly say that he definitely cares enough. He is always asking what else he can do to make things feel better for me and he is very open minded and happy to try anything new that I suggest. I am really good at faking it, but like you and WC said, I'm not going to be able to fake forever. I don't want to hurt his feelings!

          To answer your question, yes, I have had an orgasm by myself. I am able to bring myself to climax in no time at all. That's why it's frustrating. I KNOW how good orgasming feels!

          As I'm thinking about things that could turn me on, I do know that I really like aggressiveness and roughness. My last boyfriend was aggressive and I really loved it. However, still no desire to have intercourse. I would like it if my boyfriend now would be more rough and aggressive with me. How is a good way to request that? Maybe that would make me more excited about sex...

          Comment

          • LanaBear
            Veteran Member
            • Jul 2009
            • 8373

            Originally posted by asiangrace86
            As I'm thinking about things that could turn me on, I do know that I really like aggressiveness and roughness. My last boyfriend was aggressive and I really loved it. However, still no desire to have intercourse. I would like it if my boyfriend now would be more rough and aggressive with me. How is a good way to request that? Maybe that would make me more excited about sex...
            You need to have an open conversation with him about it. Tell him you've been thinking lately that you may be more of a submissive in the bedroom. That you'd like him to take more of a dominate roll. Go through what you feel may turn you on. When you get into this arena of things, communication is key! You need to be very open with what you do and don't want to happen.

            Comment

            • WildChild
              Banned
              • Sep 2008
              • 14142

              It's worth a try. What have you got to lose?

              Comment

              • Mes T
                Veteran Member
                • Oct 2009
                • 2678

                Listen if you're not excited about penis-in-vagina, even when he's aggressive, then nothing will really change that around unless he brings you to orgasm with OTHER ways first.

                Have you taught him to pleasure you? Manually or orally?

                Have you ever had sex with him, bringing him and yourself to orgasm, with just oral?

                Most guys LOVE oral, they love the feeling, the visual, everything. Sometimes if I'm not in the mood for intercourse, my BF and I do these other things and we're still both perfectly happy.

                Penis-in-vagina doesn't feel good for you. It just doesn't. Your nerve endings are wired this way, your boyfriend needs to be educated about it, there need to be some compromises, and then you'll be on your way to a very fulfilling sex life.

                Comment

                • truerock
                  Junior Member
                  • Dec 2007
                  • 3

                  Pain during intercourse

                  I'm a guy and I think Ive seen this situation with 2 other girls I dated. One of the girls had a tipped uterous. The other was asian (I'm caucasian) and had a vagina that was small relative to my penus. Both of these relationships were problematic because of sexual intercourse problems.

                  The relationships both lasted about a year. The best (and really, only) way we could have intercourse was if the girl was on top of me and in complete control of the movement.

                  The situations really messed up these girl's and they definately had issues with sex - which is completely understandable - I guess.

                  The asian girl friend was especialy messed up because she wanted me to be on top in a very aggresive kind of way. I think this is a very common desire and many women prefer face-to-face with the guy on top. But that was obviously in conflict with the mismatch in penus and vagina sizes.

                  I guess the asian girlfriend would have been better off with a boyfriend with a smaller penus.

                  Comment

                  • truerock
                    Junior Member
                    • Dec 2007
                    • 3

                    I guess I better start spell-checking my posts...

                    Comment

                    • Texasred
                      Veteran Member
                      • Oct 2009
                      • 1216

                      Originally posted by asiangrace86
                      I don't have health insurance though because I don't have my full time job anymore. So I can't go to the doctor. Believe me, if I could, I'd be there yesterday...

                      So if it happened to be some horomonal imbalance, is there a way to fix that??
                      First, take note: You CAN go to a doctor without having insurance - you just pay for it!
                      And if this issue IS important to you, you'll find a way to pay for it; if possible, work out with the doctor a payment plan if you don't have the cash, and I've never met a doctor who wouldn't give a significant discount for a cash payment. You can also contact some "women's resource" outfit in your area and see if they can direct you to a physician who has reduced rates for those unable to pay otherwise.

                      And in answer to your last question (if it's not been answered already), Yes, there are ways of effectively treating hormonal imbalances, in both men and women, to restore sex drive.

                      Comment

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