[hanni]

Hi all,

does anyone have experience with their partner masturbating? i know its only natural but i cant help getting a bit upset over it - perhaps i should also explain that my boyfriend tends to watch porn with more 'mature' ladies in it which i find a bit hard to deal with.

please help!!!

[sourpuss]

Is he masturbating rather than having sex with you?

[WildChild]

Hey some of us "mature' ladies are still worth looking at. LOL
I can understand that you have some concern. I think Sourpuss's is very pertinate. A question I have is, do you masterbate? Can you bring yourself to orgasm?

[Adrian15]

Is he masturbating rather than having sex with you?

I agree, very good question indeed! Without that answer it is tough to answer..

[hanni]

we do have a healthy sex life yes, i can orgasm with him and alone so no complaints there.

and good point! i suppose the fact he isnt just turned on by young 20 somethings is probably a positive thing!

from reading stuff on here i feel a lot better that its not just me - i think i just thought i was doing something wrong that meant i wasnt giving him enough etc.

thanks girls! xxx

[Melephant]

Um.. Not meaning to hijack your post or anything, but i'm having the same problem..

Sometimes i'll wake up in the middle of the night and my man's masturbating next to me. I mentioned it the first time, out of curiousity, and he was like 'well, you were asleep..' But it's happened a few times since then. I didn't tell him when i woke up the second time but he mentioned that he'd only done it that once, but i know he hasn't. Why would he lie?

We have sex regularly and i think it's great, but does this mean he doesn't? He says he does, but why does he 'secretly' masturbate?
He also has a 40+ porn dvd which made me a bit concerned cos i'm only 20, he's 31. When he was a teenager, he lost his virginity to his mate's mom...????

Again, Hanni, i didn't mean to hijack your thread but i am really concerned about this, i don't like it.

[stressed]

You can ask him why he thinks he has this need to masturbate so frequently and what is it that he finds stimulating in 'mature' porn (no offense to mature ladies of course, my best friend is over 50 and my mother is over 60, I'd never offend this or any other age group ).
Maybe you can tell him that he can wake you up if he feels such a need in the middle of the night, maybe he's worried about upsetting you if he'd wake you up just because he wants sex and doesn't want you to think he uses you. There are so many different reasons as to men act like they do, that you can only find out by discussion what's going on in their head.

[Melephant]

I guess so.. I don't mind so much that he masturbates, i guess. And at least he's not sneaking off to the bathroom in the middle of the night lol. I dunno, i'd just prefer it if he didn't try and hide it, it's not like i can/ would tell him that he can't masturbate.

Just fingers crossed he's not doing it cos he's unsatisfied.
Oh and thanks!

[stressed]

I just think it's a very good sign that he does this when you're right next to him and it's not that much of sneaking. I'd worry if he'd get up in the middle of the night and watch porn to that instead or rush to the bathroom like you said. I think this can be solved very easily once he realizes that he has nothing to be afraid of or that you are ok with him doing it, since your sex life is good.

[hanni]

at least im not the only one Melephant!! i guess its just communication - ive asked my partner if hes satisfied by me and i think that he is, i suppose masturbating is just something he does when im either not there or i think sometimes through boredom. but yeah, at least your boyfriend doesnt hide anything from you, i think thats when it would become worrying - if hes doing it next to you then hes definitely not hiding it from you!! (maybe hes hoping youll wake up lol!)