[alterview]

does it matter?

manspoint-

Sorry to hear yet another story of a failed marriage. Mine went along the same lines: frequent great sex at the beginning then down to a few times a year and trying to do everything 'right' outside of the bedroom in hopes that our sex life would improve.

I did the vasectomy plan also (my birthday present our last year together). No change! Talk about frustrating...

At the end, I know that my ex was at the very least having an emotional relationship with her boss. Does that change anything? Nope! I am an extremely happy divorcee. Better someone else deal with her other than me.

For the sake of our kids, I hope my ex is happy. Does not matter to me how she is being made happy.

Bottom line: don't beat yourself up over this minor detail. It really is not worth it. Sounds like you are enjoying your new found freedom and sexual rebirth. Let the past melt away!

cheers- best of luck.

[manspoint]

To all...

Thanks for your responses. As always there are many varied opinions.

Firstly I am VERY MUCH over it and was curious, that's all. After leaving she turned into to an utter bee itch and I hope I never see her again.

I am also more than happy that I found my chosen one (on-line) and am now re-married and still in love after 4 years together and some pretty hard times.

The ex....didn't hook up for at least 12 months from what I can gather. Was definitely not on-line chatting. And he is was not a friend before hand (I think)...but I don't really care.

WC, I think you offer the most logical explanation.


** I hope her chickens turn into emus and kick her dunny door down! **


Thanks again for letting get that off my chest!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Choices.

Everything in life is a choice.

Without a doubt Chemistry is generally the reason we continue a relationship, from the inset. Often it's Chemistry that commences it. But, without core beliefs, simular morals, thought patterns, when that dies we may very well see that we really don't have much in common, not as hobbies goes, but in our core beliefs, morals, thought patterns and communication shuts down as he said, she said, or "he wants she wants". Needs become non applicable because the lust has gone and there isn't enough "love" there to save it.

Depression certainly is one of the major reasons why people go for comfort food and hiding behind a computer, a reason to distance oneself from the other person, it spirals eventually.

Mis-matched.. Not on the same page...

But, you've both found someone else and you both are happy. Yours being 4 years and definately one of true communication, connection, the lust and love is still there. Hers? To place " I love sex" or a simular conentation on My-Space, means she is back where she was when she met you... I wonder though if she has copied the above, again in this phase of her life and will go down the same track yet again, once the chemistry has gone...

I doubt that she cheated. I believe she didn't want sex, with you or any male at that point and I know most women crave for "your beautiful", " the touch of your hand on our chin", "the kiss", "the holding and feelings safe", and then the sex keeps flowing...

I suspect your like this with your new wife, and she feels beautiful and content and loved and in that gives it back.

I suspect, what was missing in your first marriage, had alot to do with mis-matched but made you understand what you want out of a relationship full stop, including sex and you found it.

Lets hope your beatch of a first wife haha, according to you, can "know" what she wants out of life as well and not go down the same first path.

CW

[pink rosa]

There is a famous song that popped in to my head when I read this post... it's about two lovers and the girl feels weird b'cuz she feels that guy is just trying to buy her love, instead of showing the love in affection ways. She could have felt like this. I think what you do is nice: you made the new bathroom, you bring her flower... Now that is all vry nice but maybe she just wanted you to hug her, hold her, tell her tht she is beautiful?