[whit4488]

i have never had an orgasm during sex, or atleast i dont think i have. what is the issue here. i dont understand, i can have an orgasm when i put the vibrator to my clit, but not during sex. maybe i am and just dont know it? i thought i would for surely know if i was having an orgasm?! help!!

[Hopeless Dork]

If you know what an orgasm feels like with your vibrator, you'd know if you had that same feeling during sex... so if you don't think you are orgasming from sex, you aren't.

Could be you are not achieving the clitoral stimulation your body wants during the act, you can let him touch you or touch yourself during the act or position your body where you get maximum friction of it against his.

You also might want to take it easy on the vibe for a bit... if having an orgasm with him without one is important to you... and let your body get use to manual and contact stimulation that is less intense.

But if all else fails you can incorperate using a vibe on your clit during the main event. I am sure he is more happy that you have an orgasm regardless of if its using an aid or just his body.

[whit4488]

true. but dont women get orgasms without even touching the clit during sex?thats what i want

[Hopeless Dork]

I can orgasm without clitoral stimulation, but I have strong gspot sensations that have got to be stimulated just right to do so. Work on that when you masturbate, if its important to you to come without clit stim, you can train your body to respond to different sensations.

It may be frustrating at first, but when masturbating practice stimulating yourself without focusing on your clit other than occasional pressure mimicking that of what his body feels like pressed against you. If you are unable to orgasm by yourself without stimulating your clit - its not going to happen during sex that much if at all.

[WildChild]

true. but dont women get orgasms without even touching the clit during sex?thats what i want

One step at a time.
Just because you can put on skis and get down the beginners slope doesn't mean you are ready to ski the bumps.
You can orgasm, that puts you ahead of quite a few of the ladies here. But being able to cum using a vibe should be just a way to learn what an orgasm feels like. Can you cum using your fingers on your clit, or his fingers if you prefer? Work on getting there next. A vibe produces an intense movement, you need to learn how to respond to more subtle stimulation.
Start doing kegles, I can sometimes cum just doing those. Get a kegelmaster to make them more effective.

The clit has 8000 nerve endings, they aren't there just isolated, they travel through your body, each of us has a slightly different path. Ultimately orgasm is really centered in the mind. I've cum without being touched. You may have too without realizing what it was. Men can do it too - ever heard of a wet dream? Work on state of mind, sensual awareness, arousal levels before intercourse, don't get stressed about it, there is no test at the end. Just explore and find out what brings you the greatest pleasure.

[tinycit]

true. but dont women get orgasms without even touching the clit during sex?thats what i want

Not possible here, that's for sure. I need intense clitoral stimulation.

[stressed]

So, basically, those who can reach an orgasm by themselves only by clitoral stimulation are pretty much helpless :-/

I've started to believe that I'll never reach an orgasm during sex. Not that we try anything different, ever, but I just have that feeling. Have tried with 3 men and it hasn't happened so I can't just blame the current guy anyway.

Oh well. Bad luck.

[whit4488]

well i can cum with the vibrator, or the motion and pressure of when i use my fingers on it. but no other guy can. however, today i let him finger me in a different position i have ever done before, and as soon as his fingers slipped inside me i instantly went nuts!! i feel like i came but then again it wasnt the same "peeing" factor as the clit orgasm...hmm