[mortebella]

I've really been out of the dating world for a long time - was fairly active in HIV education before antiretroviral cocktails began offering some significant hope on that front, but now I'm getting the impression that while condom use has become much more accepted (tolerated, perhaps) for intercourse, when it comes to fellatio, not at all. I never see it discussed on bbs such as this or hear it talked about amongst younger friends. Notwithstanding a LOWER transmission rate than for vaginal or anal sex, I'm curious as to what the experiences of women who post here are? Do you use condoms for intercourse but not for blow jobs? Do you feel that it's "safe," or do you just do it because you know you'd get the argument that there'd be "no point" in doing it with a condom, etc? Or do the women who do it just don't feel any need to bring it up?

[stressed]

Well, for many women giving oral sex (without a condom) is something done only after you "really know" the person and know that he doesn't have any STD's. Otherwise, contact with infected sperm in this manner can be equally risky as intercourse without a condom and it's not recommended if you don't know about your partner's sexual past. Certainly, the risk is lower, but if you have doubts about it then you shouldn't risk it at all, it is not worth the stress.

Personally, I've only been involved in serious relationships after I knew basically everything about their sexual past and none of them could practically use a condom (I must be very unlucky, as none of them was under 25 but still couldn't use one), but I've done all the tests anyway and they were all clear. I guess the best choice is to only have sex with people you trust and know where they've been. I wouldn't recommend any kind of sexual contact with a stranger, from a simple kiss to oral sex.

[purplePixie]

The idea of using a condom during fellatio is, for me, at least...absolutely repulsive. They are cumbersome and nasty-smelling enough as it is with sex, much less putting that taste and texture in my mouth!! yeah right!! I'm not sure what the risks I run are without using a condom for fellatio, but I can only imagine the risks are very much reduced when compared to sex.
As far as condoms in general, I have been dating my bf for 4 years now, and we don't use condoms. We did the first few times, but after getting tested and all and making the commitment to each other, we discontinued. He is "skilled" enough to perform the pullout method, and it has worked wonderfully in the past! I am not a fan of condoms, but absolutely understand the risks and benefits.

[mortebella]

Yep, I think the situation is very different when you've both been tested and are clear and have committed to a monogamous relationship. In that case, I'd be dispensing with condoms altogether, whether it was for bjs or intercourse, moi-meme. What's raising my eyebrows is the amount of "unhooked" sex I'm hearing about particularly in this area, with things like lipstick parties where all the girls wear a different color and the object with is to be the guy with the most different shades on yer thingie by the end of the night. Obviously no glove of love going on in that scenario! I suspect this is mostly a college/drinking phenomenon, but nonetheless. I also see/hear evidence to lead me to believe that among the Millennials, the perception is that oral sex = safe sex = katie bar the door, or f*ck the condom issue already, I just don't wanna be bothered and this is my solution.This is a LONG, LONG way from taking responsibility like being tested and being monogamous if you don't want to use them.

[shweedart]

I use condoms during sex to stop me getting pregnant, me and my bf have only been sexually active with eachother so...no need to use condoms for blow-j's. However, we have given it a try...simply because I wanted to see if it was still good with a condom! He said it was ok, I absolutely hated it! It dries too quickly, tastes bad! Even flavoured ones. Made me gag when I deep throated cos of that wobbly end bit...blergh

[Stina]

I, too, find condoms to be absolutely disgusting, whether they're going in my mouth or... elsewhere. Though I've always been diligent about condom use during regular sex, I've never used condoms while performing oral sex.

Statistically speaking, I'm pretty sure receptive oral sex is pretty far down the list of behavior that would be high risk in regard to HIV transmission, with receptive anal sex being the most risky. Not to say there is no risk at all, of course, but I can recall reading an article that said for every 10,000 exposures to an infected source via receptive oral intercourse, 1 will become infected.

I would think that one is much more likely to acquire or transmit HSV, as opposed to HIV during oral sex, as an exchange of fluids is not necessary, only skin to skin contact. If someone has cold sores, they always run the risk of giving their partner genital herpes, whether they have an active cold sore or not.

Bottom line: As much as we preach and are preached to about using condoms, it really boils down to personal preference and acceptance (or ignorance) of any risk.

[SinisterUrge]

What's raising my eyebrows is the amount of "unhooked" sex I'm hearing about particularly in this area, with things like lipstick parties where all the girls wear a different color and the object with is to be the guy with the most different shades on yer thingie by the end of the night.

[fellatio] parties do exist, only I don't think you'll find too many girls/women at them.

[mortebella]

So you're saying it's mostly guys giving the head? LOL! Well, the question's still valid, if they know nothing about their partners, is safer sex the norm in these contexts or no? My guess would be a big whopping no, but I'm curious about the prevailing norms and attitudes.

[SinisterUrge]

So you're saying it's mostly guys giving the head?

Correct.

Well, the question's still valid, if they know nothing about their partners, is safer sex the norm in these contexts or no?

Parties sponsored by swing groups or D/s clubs will usually have plenty of protection to go around. Informal 'Craigslist' parties (or highschool & college parties) are typically of the non-safe variety unless you bring your own.

[kygirl]

I have to agree with everyone else... If it's a matter of feeling as if I need to use a condom to be safe, there is no BJ. I can't stand the rubbery smell...yuck