[amaranthine]

I've been with him for years, and it's always been a problem. He just doesn't cum. We'll either stop when I'm satisfied, or when he's too tired to continue. I get so frustrated I could scream. If we have sex twenty-five times, he might, MIGHT cum on one.
We've tried a lot of things. Sexy lingerie, new positions, role-playing, etc. but nothing seems to help. Sometimes he'll get close and give up because it's just not happening and he's getting too tired to try.
I should probably also mention his incredibly low sex drive. He hardly ever really wants to have sex. Most of the time he doesn't care one way or the other, other times he flat-out doesn't want to, and the smallest percentage of those time, he actually wants to. He rarely cums even on those times.

Where is the issue here? He says he doesn't even cum 100% of the time when he masturbates. Could this be medical??
It just makes me so upset when he rarely wants sex, and then never cums. I feel like the most un-sexy and unattractive person right now.

[Mes T]

It very well could be medical, especially since he can't get off by himself either. He should get this checked out.

I know it's hard and pretty much counter-intuitive, but try not to feel bad about yourself because of this! From what you've posted, it seems to me like this has absolutely nothing to do with you.

[amaranthine]

Thanks.
Would a urologist know about this?
I don't know who to ask...

[WildChild]

Start with a urologist .They may refer to another depending on what they find.

[Hopeless Dork]

He says he doesn't come 100% of the time when he masturbates, but is his success rate with masturbation higher? If so it might be possible his inability to reach orgasm is due to the manner he uses to masturbate, a lot of guys that have trouble orgasming with a vagina grip their penis during self-play in a way that they become use to and is hard to recreate during vaginal sex.

Does he masturbate often? Or would he even admit to it? Sometimes guys with 'low drives' for sex, masturbate a lot and don't put 2 and 2 together that its impacting their desire for sex, especially when their drive is low to begin with.

Is he on any medications like antidepressents? Essesive alchohol use? If he doesn't have a testosterone issue, you would think he would biolgically have a need to expell semen on a some what routine basis...

I'm not saying its the issue, just pointing out it might be... I know my boyfriends drive for SEX with me was much lower than his drive to masturbate... once he cut off/cut down... on the porn/masturbation wallah... he suddenly was interested in sex a whole lot more Do you think that could be a factor for you guys? Or are you leaning more towards medical? How old is your boyfriend?

[amaranthine]

He doesn't masturbate that much, I'd say less than twice in a ten day period. He used to do it in a way that was impossible for sex to recreate, so he stopped doing it like that about a year and a half ago.
He's not on any medications.
As far as I know, he doesn't even have wet dreams.
I'm 20 and he's 21. I feel like this problem shouldn't exist this early, but I really am leaning towards a medical problem of some sort. At first, I did think it was because of how he used to masturbate, but when he changed that and worked on doing it the other way, nothing really changed. He still doesn't cum easily from masturbating, still has a low drive, and still doesn't cum.

We're probably going to make an appointment soon.

[Hopeless Dork]

Do you know if he gets morning erections? If thats not happening... there is a definate cause for concern.

[amaranthine]

That one I'm not sure of... I'll have to find out.

[Hopeless Dork]

Yeah testosterone levels build during sleep and are at their PEAK for the day first thing in the morning which is why the morning erections (lack of)would be a good indicator of if his testosterone is is lowered.

[cyberkatru]

I've been with him for years, and it's always been a problem. He just doesn't cum. We'll either stop when I'm satisfied, or when he's too tired to continue. I get so frustrated I could scream. If we have sex twenty-five times, he might, MIGHT cum on one.
We've tried a lot of things. Sexy lingerie, new positions, role-playing, etc. but nothing seems to help. Sometimes he'll get close and give up because it's just not happening and he's getting too tired to try.
I should probably also mention his incredibly low sex drive. He hardly ever really wants to have sex. Most of the time he doesn't care one way or the other, other times he flat-out doesn't want to, and the smallest percentage of those time, he actually wants to. He rarely cums even on those times.

Where is the issue here? He says he doesn't even cum 100% of the time when he masturbates. Could this be medical??
It just makes me so upset when he rarely wants sex, and then never cums. I feel like the most un-sexy and unattractive person right now.

I bet it isn't you at all.

Is he on antidepressants? I can't come if I take them and this is a common side effect. Actually there is a long list of medications that affect ability to cum and many that affect libido.

Also, would he be willing to get his testosterone and estrogen levels checked?
Too much estro and/or too little testo will do this (I know this from personal experience too). It's worth checking thyroid and prolactin also.