[Rainbow Rider]

I have met the most amazing man (Mr. Amazing); someone who has more in common with me than any man or woman I have ever met in my life! I am excited about him beyond words! We have been seeing each other for several weeks, but have not had sex. I am more interested in getting to know him intimately on an emotional level than screwing his daylights out, and then dumping him/losing interest (Kinda like a guy would do, don't you think? I have a bit of this tendency . . . sleep with them too soon, and lose interest).

Here are the specs on Mr. Amazing:
- 48 years old
- divorced 20 years
- had a mild heart attack 6 years ago
- highish blood pressure - taking meds - no is back to normal
- used to be a body builder
- is a bit overweight, a little bit chubby
- 6'1" and big boned (German x Norwegian)
- works out 5-6 times per week, mainly cardio (Would think he'd be alot more lean/fit with this much working out!).

Anyway, we were talking about some personal/sex related issues the other day. It all came up when we were talking about his friend who masturbates rediculous amounts. I asked Mr. Amazing about his personal preferences on this subject. He said he had not had sex for 6 months (was in a relationship), and that he has only masturbated about 15+ times since. This to me doesn't sound like much! I also asked him about weekly sex frequency preferences. He said once every day or so would be nice. He said that he really enjoys the whole process, forplay, and physical intimacy. He is the touchy-feely type, just like me!

I am just wondering if his drive would be considered low? Or normal, given the age? (I am hoping he will be able to keep up with me; I am a 43 year old female in her prime!!). I am also wondering if given his specs, he could have hormonal level issues, as in high estrogen/low testosterone.

What are your thoughts? Anyone care to take a stab at this?

[jns]

Did he have sex or want sex every day or so in the previous relationship? He may use masturbation only as a last resort. Blood pressure medication, and in my case along with diabetes, can lead to erectile dysfunction. As for not being lean, it's harder to do unless you physically work hard and control your diet, because you don't burn off the calories like you did when you were younger. If he likes giving oral sex or is good with his hands and you like him turning you on that way, it may make up for other shortcomings.

[Mark1973]

As you get older your BFI relies a lot more on your diet then working out. You could do cardio for 2 hours a day and not burn enough calories to erase 1 bad sandwich. I monitor my calories to within 1 once of food over 7 meals a day just to keep my BFI at 7%, any lower I get sick, and I don't like the way I look if it gets any higher. About the other question, I am dealing with my own demons.

[Rainbow Rider]

That is a good question that I do not know the answer to. I'll have to ask when the timing is right.

Diabetes Question - Did your father or mother have diabetes? Curious to know how you got it, if you don't mind me asking. How long have you had it, and what is your age? My father has diabetes, and it appears to be more self-induced. He lived a little too high on the hog on an expense account for too - eating incessantly rich foods, drinking to much, etc. All that, coupled with no fitness or workout plan.

Mr. Amazing and I really didn't talk about the oral sex thing, yet! I am pretty sure he'd be into that! As for his hands, well, I have been practicing amazing restraint!!!! (You see, I really like him and don't want this too move too fast! He is the kind of person that I could spend the rest of my life with, if given the chance!). From what I can tell by his touch on just my hip, back, or waist, the sparks that fly will lead to a big bonfire, without question!! I can hardly wait until "someday" arrives . . . .

[Rainbow Rider]

Hey Mark1973! Tell me more about your food log, etc? You sound really fit; no wonder your wife wants you so much!

[Texasred]

I think you might be over-analyzing just a little bit!
But you mentioned that one thing that makes me wonder just a bit: there was a time when "bodybuilder" meant "does steroids," because that was the "in" short-cut to building muscle mass fast, and the steroids were easily available.
It also, unfortunately, often led to serious health problems down the road, among them being (sometimes) testicular atrophy accompanied by a loss of sex drive.
And sometimes heart conditions.
OTOH, masturbating "only" 15+ times in 6 months, which is a little more often that once every two weeks, is not necessarily a sign of a low sex drive: some guys (many guys?) just don't feel the need, or would only do it as a "last resort" rather than as their usual nighttime activity. Wanting to have sex "once every day or so" could be more a reflection of his *last* relationship, and not necessarily a sign that he wouldn't want sex 3 or 4 times a day with you!
Don't you think that's up to you?
But as interested as you seem to be, it sounds like you ought to give this a chance.
Good luck,
- TR
PS: To lose weight, you eat less. If he's chubby, he's eating too much for his activity level, quite possibly still going by the eating habits he developed when he was lifting. It's just that simple.

[Mark1973]

The food I eat disgust most people, but I have been eating this way for so long it just tastes like food to me. I eat 7,600 calories on most days but every 6,7th day I will drop it to 1,400 calories followed by 11,000+ ( as much as I can pack in) on day 8, and then go back to a very monitored 1,400 for day 9, and then beck to 7,600. But this is just what works for me and I certainly don't endorse it for everyone. Everyone has a different metabolism and they have to find what works for them. I can't even remember what a good restaurant taste like.

[Rainbow Rider]

What exactly are you eating? Please expand. High protein, low carbs? What specifically? I eat this way myself, but not a huge quantity. My parents and friends make fun of how I eat, too!

[jns]

Age 51. Diagnosed for 2 years, had symptoms (aching feet) for 1 1/2 years before that. Had a good physical 4 years before being diagnosed. Diabetes runs on my mother's side of the family. My grandmother and great grandmother both had it, including some amputation of toes. Probably shortened both of their lives. I let my weight get to over 315. I am now 65 pounds less and am trying to lose more, but it is tough. I try to strongly control my carbs.

Proper use of hands with many different positions can give a woman many different experiences when getting turned on, more than oral sex. I like giving oral sex to a woman because I am very visually stimulated as well as by touch, taste, auditorily, and olfactorily, but I know that many times I can get a better reaction with my hands.

[Guest]

Rainbow,

If you don't have the oppurtunity for sex the less chance you think about it. It is a different ball game when you are in a relationship instead of alone. If you are alone, you are not daydreaming about your hand through out the day as opposed to a women. Thinking how she smiles, how she smells, how she feels... how she wants.