[mia]

you can work it out...good for you..me and my hubby have sex once a month and it came to the point that we dont have sex for 3 months and i'm mad, not that I wanted sex but its part of having a relationship...he just like to have bj always..sometimes I can ask myself whats the reason, maybe bec I'm new to this and don't know how...

[momavluss]

Totally Amazing

Hi, I'm a guy trying to fathom what is happening with my own wife: she says she experiences pain upon penetration. She says change of position gives little relief.

Since I'm not sadist, it is a turn-off to ask for sex, because she usually acquieses and then ow-ow-ow.. that's as sexy as vomit. What's amazing is, I continually tell her to see the doctors until she learns the problem, so it can be fixed. She claims ignorance of the cause, but doesn't start the round of doctors. Why?

Now I see at least two girls here with the same complaints, and no apparent clue or interest in a clue. What gives?

Further, in the odd occasion when SHE initiates sex, we engage in longer foreplay, natch, and then she rides atop, without pain. She does enjoy sex, and can rattle off as many as six or seven orgasms atop, and then I can sate myself from any position with no complaints of pain.

So I have to assume the pain is only when I want sex, (psychosomatic?) and that's annoying at least. Sure I have stronger libido than she, but if guys were animals, we'd be dogs.:^)

Any light in this cloud?

also, any medical feedback on actual causes of vaginal pain?

[bdeyed]

Hi Dear
I just joined this site today.
yes you are wrong, sex is a very important thing in a relationship, you are so lucky to have sex every 2 days after 10 years of marriage.

one advice to you don't say no to your husband, otherwise he will look elsewhere.
the pain will go away by taking your medication, I hope that happens soon.
men need attention, the more attention and love you give the more you get.

take my advice and keep us updated.

I'm not a violence person, but this response brought up my haunches. You are a human being worthy of just as much respect as your husband. You are not an object for him to have sex with. If you find it painful and unpleasurable, there is absolutely no reason on this earth why you would need to subject yourself to that.

There are many other ways to have fun with a partner that don't involve vaginal penetration:
- masturbating in front of each other
- fingering your partner
- oral sex
- anal sex
- using a "sleeve" or other toy on your husband that's meant to mimic the vagina

The list could go on.

The issue with your husband not participating with the family and creating a negative atmosphere in your home is similar to him wanting to have sex with you even when it causes you pain. It appears that he is extremely selfish and not at all considering your or your family's needs. I would recommend family counselling, if you can convince him to go with you. You are not the problem in this relationship.


As for you, Momavlass, just because your girlfriend doesn't have pain EVERY time she has sex, it doesn't mean she doesn't have pain ANY time she has sex. It sounds a lot more like she instigates only when it doesn't hurt her. Get your head out of your *** and realize the world doesn't revolve around you.

[creativename]

This is common in relationships. The women's sex drive is less than the mans. I would talk to him very seriously that it hurts you. If he respects you then he will care that it hurts you!

Have you tried other things besides sex though? Masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, toys. You can both have a night of erotic fun without actually having sex. There are far more ways to get off than just vaginal sex.

I would really talk to him about how you feel and try and come to a compromise of some sort or at least take care of yourself if sex is painful.

[Naima]

Hi Dear
I just joined this site today.
yes you are wrong, sex is a very important thing in a relationship, you are so lucky to have sex every 2 days after 10 years of marriage.

one advice to you don't say no to your husband, otherwise he will look elsewhere.
the pain will go away by taking your medication, I hope that happens soon.
men need attention, the more attention and love you give the more you get.

take my advice and keep us updated.

No one should ever take this woman's advice. Ever.
This is the thinking of an oppressed woman.

No one's sexual needs supersede the physical pain of another, REGARDLESS if they are married, or not.

Many women have a condition where sex IS painful, consistently.
A real, medical condition.
There is no "take your medicine, and hopefully it will clear up soon, and in the meantime, let your husband do what he wishes to your sore vagina, in fear of him having an extra-marital affair".

I can safely think that the woman who posted this advice, has a husband who thinks very little of her; so little in fact, that she seems to think that it is ok for her own husband to take similar actions with her as well.

Oh, my heart aches for people like this.
No one deserves to live in fear under the power of another.

[Naima]

Hi, I'm a guy trying to fathom what is happening with my own wife: she says she experiences pain upon penetration. She says change of position gives little relief.

Since I'm not sadist, it is a turn-off to ask for sex, because she usually acquieses and then ow-ow-ow.. that's as sexy as vomit. What's amazing is, I continually tell her to see the doctors until she learns the problem, so it can be fixed. She claims ignorance of the cause, but doesn't start the round of doctors. Why?

Now I see at least two girls here with the same complaints, and no apparent clue or interest in a clue. What gives?

Further, in the odd occasion when SHE initiates sex, we engage in longer foreplay, natch, and then she rides atop, without pain. She does enjoy sex, and can rattle off as many as six or seven orgasms atop, and then I can sate myself from any position with no complaints of pain.

So I have to assume the pain is only when I want sex, (psychosomatic?) and that's annoying at least. Sure I have stronger libido than she, but if guys were animals, we'd be dogs.:^)

Any light in this cloud?

also, any medical feedback on actual causes of vaginal pain?

One thing I might add to what my lovely SG ladies (holla) have added here, is that foreplay = moisture in the vagina. Less moisture = more pain.

Do you normally climb on top of her and just start plowing away? Think twice about that if so, next time.

When you instigate sex, double or even triple your normal foreplay time with her. It might increase her moisture, further reducing any, if not all, her vaginal pain.

It's called making love for a reason.
It's not a race to **** the fastest and hardest, to cum right away.
It's the physical, tangible act of your love for one another.
Make love to her body.
Show every inch of her body just how much you love her.

[housewife]

No one should ever take this woman's advice. Ever.
This is the thinking of an oppressed woman.

.

What do you want from me?
Are you chasing me or what ?
how could you tell others not take my advise?
you don't take.

if you had a minimum amount of intelligence you would understand my advice to her. (and I am sure that you don't)
her question was is it normal not to consider sex as the most important thing in the relationship???

hey smart, I think I told her that she will be better after the medication and I did not tell her to have sex if she is in pain.
you made me laugh

[housewife]

I can safely think that the woman who posted this advice, has a husband who thinks very little of her; so little in fact, that she seems to think that it is ok for her own husband to take similar actions with her as well.

.

how could you infer something false about my personal life and tell it to the world? how could you talk about my husband like that?
my life is my business, but to disappoint you , you are **** wrong about it.
< font>

I see that telling ties to world is ok with you now ?
< font>Aren’t you the one who accused me for laying?< font>
Aren’t you the one who said I spread false information?< font>< font>
so what do you call what you are doing? < font>I am warning you this time . < font>
< font>

<><><><><><><><>

[soldatka]

To get the topic back on track:
Sex every 2 days sounds ideal to me, but I'm not in pain or dealing with children. If a guy won't help enough that you're not super-tired and frazzled, he doesn't deserve to get his goodies. Sex is not a right, it's something that is pleasurable between 2 people only when they both want it.

And if he is demanding when you are in pain - that's just plain wrong and you need to be firm about that. There are more ways to sexual pleasure than traditional vaginal intercourse.

Bottom line is: if you don't want to do it, don't do it, but you have to communicate the reasons why. If he's going to go elsewhere because you are too tired or sore to do it, then he's extremely insensitive. He won't drop dead from lack of sex.

[creativename]

Hi, I'm a guy trying to fathom what is happening with my own wife: she says she experiences pain upon penetration. She says change of position gives little relief.

Since I'm not sadist, it is a turn-off to ask for sex, because she usually acquieses and then ow-ow-ow.. that's as sexy as vomit. What's amazing is, I continually tell her to see the doctors until she learns the problem, so it can be fixed. She claims ignorance of the cause, but doesn't start the round of doctors. Why?

Now I see at least two girls here with the same complaints, and no apparent clue or interest in a clue. What gives?

Further, in the odd occasion when SHE initiates sex, we engage in longer foreplay, natch, and then she rides atop, without pain. She does enjoy sex, and can rattle off as many as six or seven orgasms atop, and then I can sate myself from any position with no complaints of pain.

So I have to assume the pain is only when I want sex, (psychosomatic?) and that's annoying at least. Sure I have stronger libido than she, but if guys were animals, we'd be dogs.:^)

Any light in this cloud?

also, any medical feedback on actual causes of vaginal pain?

If she's on top when you request sex does she still claim pain? If she does it may just be because she feels pain when she's not aroused. Some women can only enjoy pleasure when they are aroused. They loosen up and become wet. Are you always using a lot of lube? I think not taking the proper action to see a doctor is a real problem. I think you need to have a really serious discussion with her on how important you feel it is for her to go see a doctor about her pain, because you are becoming unhappy in the relationship. She has to do her part too. If she still refuses she might just be using pain as an excuse to not have sex. But really if she doesn't want to have sex she shouldn't. Your differences on when you want to have sex can be a problem in the relationship, and if talking to her and seeing a doctor doesn't help, couples therapy might be a good option.