[Hopeless Dork]

You're calling her boring in bed, and she very well may be... you are saying you are fed up, as you really do sound like you are. All I am saying is that going against her wishes, she says stop and you say 'nah, i know what you like' can be very emotionally devistating for a female. You say you want more of a sex life with her and I hope that you get that. I am just warning you that by forcing something on her when she says no or stop is likely to get the opposite of what you want out of the situation.

It sounds like your premature ejaculations have taken a huge emotional toll on you. You are projecting that she doesn't like sex with you because she wants to be on top when you have it? Women are strange creatures when it comes to their orgasm. Some don't get one at all and can't even masturbate themselves to one but still enjoy the sex for the closeness of it, the intimacy.

Some can come really well really easily and anywhich way but some have very regimented ways to achieve orgasm and can only seem to find their o in certain positions and even then not all the time.

You guys really need to communicate or your just going to be frustrated.

If you think she is sexually selfish, does her selfishness appear out of the bedroom? Does it always have to be her movie choice or no movie? What she wants for dinner or no dinner? What I am asking is , is it always about her wants and needs and not yours or is it balanced in the non sexual ways?

[dude123]

You're calling her boring in bed, and she very well may be... you are saying you are fed up, as you really do sound like you are. All I am saying is that going against her wishes, she says stop and you say 'nah, i know what you like' can be very emotionally devistating for a female. You say you want more of a sex life with her and I hope that you get that. I am just warning you that by forcing something on her when she says no or stop is likely to get the opposite of what you want out of the situation.

It sounds like your premature ejaculations have taken a huge emotional toll on you. You are projecting that she doesn't like sex with you because she wants to be on top when you have it? Women are strange creatures when it comes to their orgasm. Some don't get one at all and can't even masturbate themselves to one but still enjoy the sex for the closeness of it, the intimacy.

Some can come really well really easily and anywhich way but some have very regimented ways to achieve orgasm and can only seem to find their o in certain positions and even then not all the time.

You guys really need to communicate or your just going to be frustrated.

If you think she is sexually selfish, does her selfishness appear out of the bedroom? Does it always have to be her movie choice or no movie? What she wants for dinner or no dinner? What I am asking is , is it always about her wants and needs and not yours or is it balanced in the non sexual ways?

she does like to get her way out of the bedroom often, tho its not terrible, she compromises somewhat. not great but i can deal with it. The bedroom stuff bothers me tho, its like how dare i even ask for anything, thats the impression i get from her. Like how dare u ask, ur lucky u get anythign at all. Maybe thats not true but it sure seems that way. Im just bored with it and i do feel unwanted cuz im usually the initiator and she doesnt even want me to go down on her. she only wants me to go down on her for a few mins cuz she cant get wet otherwise and its like a brick wall when i put it in. I feel like i have no purpose sexually to her, thats the wrost part, i just want her to want me to do stuff for her in bed. is that weird that ifeel like that?

[Hopeless Dork]

Its not weird for you to feel like that but you have to realize this may have nothing to do with you. She may just not be a very sexual person to begin with. You'd be surprised to learn the number of people that just don't prioritze sex or get much pleasure from it. Do you know if she masturbates? If sex isn't something she derrives much pleasure out of, you're going to be hard pressed to please her with it.

And it sounds like she is doing it mostly to try to appease you, not necessarily fully satisfy you but to just give you enough to shut you up , just do the bare minimum to keep you from pulling your hair out but not much more than that.

You're right to feel frustrated, to have it effect you... as it does every sexual person in a relationship with someone that is indifferent to it. It hits your self-esteem, it makes you wonder if they are attracted to you, if they think you are worthy etc... its hard stuff.

[StillLearnin]

Dude, you just described my wife. She rarely ever initiates, she never orgasms, she won't let me go down on her, she won't go down on me unless I shower, she didn't ever let me play with her breasts or suck on her nipples until recently. She's not a sexual person.
But she's learning to be now, with my help.

Anyway, back to your problem. You need to have a heart to heart talk with her to tell her how frustrated you are with yourself for cumming so quickly, and that you feel bad about not being able to last longer to please her more. Then when she realizes that you are there for her first, start up the conversation about what she could do to help you to spice things up more.

You are being too hard on yourself for your problem, and she probably isn't that interested in sex so she never initiates or wants to do anything different. There are asexual people in this world that are indifferent to sex and wouldn't miss ever miss it.

[jns]

Have you ever explored using a condom or several to control sensation so you don't get stimulated too fast? I've never been able to climax using a condom because of the loss of sensation. It may be what you need. If one doesn't work, put another one over the first. If you lose too much sensation, but can keep hard, you can take them off when you want finish.

[dude123]

Have you ever explored using a condom or several to control sensation so you don't get stimulated too fast? I've never been able to climax using a condom because of the loss of sensation. It may be what you need. If one doesn't work, put another one over the first. If you lose too much sensation, but can keep hard, you can take them off when you want finish.

She does't like condoms, turns her off. Last thing i need is to use something to make her want sex even less. Its gotta be all her way.

[dude123]

Dude, you just described my wife. She rarely ever initiates, she never orgasms, she won't let me go down on her, she won't go down on me unless I shower, she didn't ever let me play with her breasts or suck on her nipples until recently. She's not a sexual person.
But she's learning to be now, with my help.

Anyway, back to your problem. You need to have a heart to heart talk with her to tell her how frustrated you are with yourself for cumming so quickly, and that you feel bad about not being able to last longer to please her more. Then when she realizes that you are there for her first, start up the conversation about what she could do to help you to spice things up more.

You are being too hard on yourself for your problem, and she probably isn't that interested in sex so she never initiates or wants to do anything different. There are asexual people in this world that are indifferent to sex and wouldn't miss ever miss it.

Well she wasn't asexual when i met her, she loved sex. She was def no stranger to it the way she was early on. So i feel like it must be me, either that or she just slep twit me alot early on cuz she liked me but now realizes she doesnt have to cuz she knows im with her for good. I mean it sux she doesn't even go down on me anymore. Its like once every 4 or 5 months its ridiculous. Its ridiculous cuz she expects me to go down on her every time we have sex. I pretty much go down on her 95% of the time we have sex. I mean i know its a lil diff cuz shes gotta swallow stuff (she chooses too) and then once i cum thats it i cant have sex. With her i just do it to get her wet so i see the diference but cmon im still going down on her all the time, i should still be getting a blowjob here and there. Thats just selfish in my opinion.

[sourpuss]

She does't like condoms, turns her off. Last thing i need is to use something to make her want sex even less. Its gotta be all her way.

Sex should never be all one person's way. Nothing will get better if she's not willing to compromise. Have you had a conversation about what is ideal for both of you and tried to meet in the middle somewhere?

[caterpillar79]

I agree with Sourpuss. If she's not willing to accommodate you with your wishes/conditions, something is wrong. Sex is a give and take, never a one-way street.

[dude123]

Sex should never be all one person's way. Nothing will get better if she's not willing to compromise. Have you had a conversation about what is ideal for both of you and tried to meet in the middle somewhere?

I cant even bring it up nicely i get like a how dare u reaction and she ends up crying or if were doing it and i suggest soemthing shell get turned off real easily. eventually she prob would do what i asked and ad it to her repertoire but first would come screaming and sobbing. Shes so weird