[Anon_1990]

Ok, so some of you may know my girl dumped me a few weeks back, well this week she got with another guy, and it nearly made me phsyically throw up. Its the worst thing in the world because I still absolutley adore her. It's the worst feeling ive ever felt and I cannot describe how I feel inside.

Fighting for the relationship hasn't helped, I gave it everything I had inside me, I just couldn't quit (Facebook of course, as I still can't bear to face her, this would rip me in two).

But amongst sobbing every now and then and having up and down points, I am abnormally horny. I am masturbating two to three times a day over her, and when im done, im straight back to feeling sad. It feels great but why do I need to do it more?

[WildChild]

It's a physical release, your mind and body are trying to get some relief from the grief. Orgasm released endorphins which help elevate your mood and that's good for you.
I know it's hard and painful but consider that this hyper-emotional response doesn't actually help anything past a certain point. Some researchers a few years back did report that they had found the crying does relieve stress, typicall 40-60% for most people. There is nothing wrong with having a good cry or two but then you have to start trying to move on. Exersize can really help you relieve your distress, work up a good sweat. Get out with some friends, go places, do things, try to help someone else - that can really help pull you out of yourself. It will take time but you can't just dwell in it. Do you know how many millions of women there are in the world? Billions actually, it may not feel like it right now but there are whole bunch of them you could be very happy with and who would be delighted to have your caring and love.

[Austin Richards]

I think every guy knows how you feel. Almost all of us feel the same way. There is no magic cure and the sooner you can admit that she is gone for good, you'll do better. But this depression will have to last for a while.

If it helps, I can almost guarantee you that you will be able to go back with her in about 3 or 4 months. It's always happened for me... one was 4 years later. But you won't want to. You won't trust her.

Get it out of your mind that your masturbating has to do with her. I know you didn't say that, but it is SIMPLY just releasing anxiety. If you want to use her as the person in your fantasy, I don't think it matters. Wait until the IRS calls you in for an audit and you'll be masturbating about every two hours... and might even have to make a quick visit to the courthouse restroom while you're there.

I will tell you this from my own experience the next woman I would find was hotter than the last one. But of course that is a rebound and probably not anyone you will stay with, but it helps your ego.

I would say this... start focusing on what will make your more attractive to the ladies. If that means working out or buying new clothes, start doing that. Change your hair style and get totally different type of shoes. Start focusing on attracting other women. But don't do it like you are useless if you don't have a woman, look on it as a quest to find the best one you can. The length of time it takes to find your prey only makes longer better.

Try not to fall back on past flames but look for new. I don't know how much of a predator you feel on your search, but if you like this game a lot, seek out something all together different. If you tend to date those from the workout centers, go for the libraries, or the reverse if you normally have your head stuck in a book. Grocery stores are fine for stroking your ego. Depending your age even moms with babies. They like the attention and while many may be married, they love to be flirted with. You make their day and they make yours. It gets you in the feel of being single again.

Good luck and don't get in a rut... this won't last.

[Anon_1990]

I'm just a lover. I need love and devotion, that's want I want from a relationship. When I was with her I wasn't my usual self because I wanted to protect what I had.

I'm not myself anymore. I'm quoted, cynical and pretty grumpy with life. I never want to see her new guy as I may do somethng totally out of character. I keep seeing her name on peoples statuses and despite deleting her it still hurts to see.

I don't want to change my style. I've grown my hair for five years. It's pretty special to me.

We were both virgins so being firsts she is very special to me. Just the thought of her doing it with him kills me, I bet I was in comparison too.

[Anon_1990]

its getting to the stage of having four or so after waking up, and a couple at night. Ive never been this bad, but god i feel horrible

[caterpillar79]

Does your activity involve alcohol on some ocassions?

[Anon_1990]

No, I dont really drink

[amaranthine]

Nothing is going to make your first partner less special to you. The only thing you can do, as I see it, is to keep it as a memory. You may not want to right now (trust me, EVERYONE knows this kind of pain), but it will make you stronger. Learn from your time with her, and use it to positively influence your next girlfriend. The experience you had with her is not just hers... it's yours too. Don't let it weigh you down. Be happy that you had happiness, and when you get your strength back, seek it out again.

It will pass. How you think about her and what you had will help it pass faster. The longer you hold onto her and wish it hadn't ended, the longer your pain will last. The sooner you accept that this experience is just one of many you can encounter, the sooner you'll be able to move on.

[Anon_1990]

We do want to be mates, but its gonna take me time.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm just a lover. I need love and devotion, that's want I want from a relationship. When I was with her I wasn't my usual self because I wanted to protect what I had.

She was your first, so by masterbating, this is phycological, you are reaching out for her, when you masterbate, you feel good and you were a Virgin, it reminds you of the love making you did/had with her.. Your depressed because when it's over, she's not there and so this makeshift thing your doing, for that love, in my opinion, has to stop.. It will drive you deeper into depression.

What do you mean by you weren't your usual self and what did you have to protect?

CW