[KDia03]

Hi! I've been dating my boyfriend for about five months now... We started having sex after two. He was a virgin at the time, I'd had a previous (selfish) partner. Anyway- despite that, the sex has been amazing. Everything you'd want... loving, sweet, attentive, unselfish, a truly amazing experience. I love having sex with him and initiate it all the time! The only thing that is missing is... well, an orgasm. For me.

I've never had one before. Not through masterbation, sex, or anything else. There have been two times during sex that I've felt it "mount up", but I think I scared it away- mostly because I don't know how it should feel or what it will be like, and I'm always concerned I may (this is embarrassing) urinate during it. But it is a very hot, tingling sensation that I can't really describe properly. Is that what an orgasm is like? And what are a few ways I can try to have one? Sex is wonderful without it, but my curiousity demands it, anyhow.

Thanks!

[leostarr81]

I went through the same thing for years, sex was good, but i just accepted it, until I started doing kegels. I was skeptical and really did'nt think it would work, but I thought I have nothing to lose. The first time I finally had an orgasm I could'nt believe it, I had 2 back to back. The guy I was with wasn't even that attractive or well-endowed. try it.

[maverick]

I can't tell you what a female orgasm feels like (other than from observation), but I can tell you that they are 50% mental and 50% physical. I would venture to say that in most cases, it should be easiest to achieve the big O through masturbation. When you are touching yourself you know what feels good and can keep on doing this. During partner sex, you have to coach your partner or otherwise make it known that what he is doing feels really, really good. (Body tension, sighs, and moans work for this.) As far as feeling like you are going to pee, this is not an uncommon feeling, especially during G-spot stimulation. Just pee before you start sexual activities and don't worry about it. Even if a couple of drops sneak out, who is going to know with all the wetness down there? (Or care for that matter?) As I said before orgasms are 50% mental. You are quite correct in that you may have scared yours off by worrying. Don't be anxious. Just let your body go. Losing control is what it takes for orgasm. Good luck!!

[amaranthine]

The peeing sensation means you're getting close. Don't worry about it.

Most women can't orgasm from penetration alone. Have you tried rubbing your clit during sex, especially when you feel it "mount up"? I can usually orgasm pretty quickly when I do it, so it's worth a try, right?
I also find that orgasms are harder to achieve when you're tense. Being tense halts blood flow, so try to loosen up your muscles to let the blood flow in, and you might find yourself "mounting up" faster.
Try being vocal, if you aren't already. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but at least for me, it's great to let go and be loud. Keeping back noises causes stress to your body, which may make it tense. Orgasm is all about relief. It's that moment when all the tension you build up is finally released, so don't hold anything back.

[Dreamer21]

One sure fire way to orgasm is to relax. Being tense and thinking about it just makes it harder to achieve an orgasm. My husband and I had a really great sex life for years but it was because we relaxed and enjoyed ourselves. Recently we had some issues but it was because I was too tense and that rubbed off on him. The way we got over it was to just let go and have fun again. When you feel it building up either you or you can have him rub your clit. also applying a firm but gentle pressure to it can speed things along. If you want to have a orgasm from penetration it is usually easier after one or two orgasms. usually oral sex works and you can have a couple orgasms from that. Then your partner can be inside you and you will already be so turned on that your g spot will be swollen and it will be easier to orgasm from penetration.

[jns]

For you: relax and get comfortable. Think about how much you like/love your boyfriend. Daydream. For your boyfriend to help you climax: a man can bring a woman to orgasm who has never orgasmed before by carefully observing her reaction to stimulation. It is very much related to selling a fantasy. Hand manipulation is probably the best, because to observe a women completely, you have to look at her face. While looking in her eyes and at her face, you can lick, kiss, nibble, very lightly bite and brush her erogenous areas on her face, neck and shoulders. Don't be predictable. At the same time, use fingers to stimulate her clitoris, but be careful to not hurt her. If she doesn't tell what feels good, ask. When you find her getting excited, continue what you are doing at that time and increase the tempo. Her reaction to the stimulation should increase. If not, slow down again and find what gave the reaction before. Use lubrication or natural lubrication to lessen friction. Continue until orgasm.

[Faerunner]

I know that for me right before orgasm my clitoris becomes very sensitive and tingles too (as you're describing). At that point, I can usually orgasm best through indirect stimulation through the clitoral hood, grinding it against him, etc because direct stimulation of my clit is almost unbearable... it actually sets off nerve tingling in my legs and feet! And immediately following orgasm I am too sensitive to touch for a short time. This at first scared me off, but I found ways around it with practice. You might want to explore different ways of maintaining arousal without worrying about orgasm, both with and without your partner. Eventually you will find something that will put you over the edge

[x.st.angel.x]

My best advice for you is to learn by yourself first.... If you cant do it...how can anyone else do it to you?

For me personally i can do it myself but when a guy tries... its a lot harder!

Oh! and you'll know once you have one...try and find what works for you!

Good luck