[CHANDLERS WISH]

wow, Lily is REAL. sometimes i wonder about myself. i've felt like a robot for a long while. this is a wake-up call i guess. i am real. i am a woman. i can be happy. i can feel good about myself, and my choices. now if i can just hold onto all of that every day, i've got a good start again. remembering when i used to be more confidant in myself.

Lol's... YES LILY IS REAL!!!! Your a real woman and you needed to remind yourself

And, seeing as he spend the whole day with you and then night, I kind of think that he saw you for exactly who you are, a woman with morals but can make her own management decisions in life

Go get that confidence woman... He sees that...

CW

[lilylavendar]

thanks CW. we are taking a "break" for right now. on the sex anyway. in the morning he is coming by to pick me up for a day out. we are going to have brunch, and do a little shopping. he is getting ready to go out of town this weekend, for work. he asked me if i would like to drive him there, so he doesn't have to leave his truck out of town. i was a little bit surprised, but he said he'd rather leave it with me then where he is going. so that's cool. i feel good about it. i've balanced this all around my kids, they've been at their grandparent's or asleep while he has been here. although they have met him before, and know who he is. just not ready to introduce them as me having a "relationship" with him yet, even though, i definitely feel like that is where it is going. we'll continue to see what happens. but for the first time in a long time, i feel happy