[stressed]

I think BML was being sarcastic...

[Yvee]

Honestly I dont think that the no-sex-before-marriage thing will work, at least not for me anyway. But that is because I generally enjoy sex, both physical and emotional aspects of it. In my opinion it is really hard to build an intimate relationship with someone unless you have a strong physical bond, something that yuo and your partner share.
For me sex is as much a... spiritual (this isn't the right word, but I can't think of a better one) experience as it is a physical one. Maybe its because I'm still young, its hard for me to judge is something like that changes with age or not, but I get extremely attached to a person after sex and I guess I need that attachment in a relationship

I have several friends however, who claim that they are not going to have sex before marriage. Some do it because of their religion, others because they believe that some things should only be done with one person. Generally these are also the people who are strongly against divorce, abortions, etc

As for respect, generally I do my best to.
I grew up in a really religious family, when I myself is still on the fence. However watching my parents spent hours and tons of money in church, I learned that some things are bigger then me and that I have no power to change them.
PLus I think that something that doesn't directly effect me (as far as the personal choices of others go anyway), should not be judged by me.

[A Dying Breed]

I think BML was being sarcastic...

Well I don't know. it's really hard to tell sarcasm over the internet if they arent using the right 'code'. Example:

This site is so horrible! None of the women know what they are talking about! And they are so sexist towards men! [/SARCASM]

I don't know, I'm sure there are many people who could say that and be serious.

Also, I don't know her at all, so I can't judge, but he way she types just makes me think she's on the young side. Idk, maybe it's the text speak, because I remember talking that way on the internet when I was a bit younger lol.

[Texinator]

As a side note, and I very well may sound like a tramp saying this, but... I DO believe that sometimes sex with no strings attached is okay. As long as both partners are aware of what's happening and are consenting to it, I think it's okay. Yeah for most of us sex with a loved one is a million times better, but... I think the actual act of "sex" is really not that big of a deal and could be happily done with anyone.

You don't sound like a tramp. What two consenting adults do is their business.

I personally want sex to include an emotional connection, so one night stands are out for me and I don't even like the idea of sex after only three dates, but that's just me. I don't judge others for taking a different approach. I'm even willing to go so far as to advocate the legalization of prostitution, even though I'd never want to visit a brothel myself.

Just as long as everyone knows into what they are getting themselves. In the case of no strings attached, especially when it's friends with benefits, there is of course always the strong possibility that at least one person will end up developing feelings for the other. Everything has its risks.

[Mes T]

I'm not even talking about one night stands, I mostly mean having sex with a partner before you develop strong emotional feelings.

I guess it really depends on the person, and REALLY depends on the situation.

A Dying Breed (ADB for short if you don't mind ), I agree that one "flaw" like ED is certainly not a reason to not marry someone or etc.

But we've seen time and time again that sex, for SOME reason, is VERY important in a lot of relationships. Maybe it's because of the emotions attached to the act? Anyway, lots of couples break up due to frustration in the bedroom... I guess because that sexual frustration spreads into other aspects of their lives together.

Do couples who abstain until marriage have a greater chance of later breaking up because of sexual dissatisfaction?

[A Dying Breed]

Do couples who abstain until marriage have a greater chance of later breaking up because of sexual dissatisfaction?

I doubt it. Unless they were totally oblivious to eachother, they managed to have a long successful relationship together. Do I think any married couple should not have sex? No. Do I think it should be the reason for divorce? No.

As long as they share intimacy, and still be sexual with eachother, even without intercourse, then I believe it will work out

[Mes T]

I doubt it. Unless they were totally oblivious to eachother, they managed to have a long successful relationship together. Do I think any married couple should not have sex? No. Do I think it should be the reason for divorce? No.

As long as they share intimacy, and still be sexual with eachother, even without intercourse, then I believe it will work out

Sorry I meant once they're already married and they're like... ooooh... this isn't quite working out how we've expected!

I've just seen so many threads on this forum about people being miserable because of problems in the bedroom... despite everything else being great.

[Yvee]

Do couples who abstain until marriage have a greater chance of later breaking up because of sexual dissatisfaction?

Actually I heard that there are stats that show the opposite!
Apparently couples that have sex before they get married are more likely to break up/get divorced. It has something to do with partners not being intimate and committed enough and feeling that they can get what they want without marriage or commitment.
I don't buy that though...

[rcoreyus]

I think there is a "selection effect" there. couples who wait to get married before they have sex are probably more likely to not break their marriage vows even if they are unhappy.

I think it is a very good idea for couples to have sex before they are married. Otherwise they may discover too late that they are sexually incompatible and be unhappy together.

Actually I heard that there are stats that show the opposite!
Apparently couples that have sex before they get married are more likely to break up/get divorced. It has something to do with partners not being intimate and committed enough and feeling that they can get what they want without marriage or commitment.
I don't buy that though...

[Mes T]

I think there is a "selection effect" there. couples who wait to get married before they have sex are probably more likely to not break their marriage vows even if they are unhappy.

Good point.

Same goes for arranged marriages - less of them end in divorce than love marriages, but why? Because they're actually more successful or because those couples come from cultures where divorce is less acceptable?