[LanaBear]

What is it about being with a man that you are attracted to? Is it something that can be accomplished with her and a strap on?

[Wruinin]

I can safely say that I have NEVER had this dream or fantasy. I would be incredibly shocked if any woman would. Im interested to find out where you got this from?

I heard from a few women friends and know a lot of women friends who affirmed their interest in being somehow mistreated in bed, punished or something similar, just feeling as victims. And I heard this even, or mostly from women who are confident and successful in their lives and will not allow anyone to mistreat them. They just like it as a sex game. I think on the social level, we are living in the modern world where it is common that women have the highest social positions, are bosses of large companies, political institutions etc, but on the primitive, or subconscious level we are close to the cave people and want sex to be on that level, not on the modern level. And I hear and see and feel over and over again that men who are too weak, kiss up to women on the first date or in bed etc will fail sexually and are not considered sexy. I learned that the hard way several times in my own life. But that's going totally off topic.

[sourpuss]

I can safely say that I have NEVER had this dream or fantasy. I would be incredibly shocked if any woman would. Im interested to find out where you got this from?

I've never had that fantasy, it's just not my thing. But a lot of women do actually. I've had exs (and my current bf) tell me some crazy stuff that their girlfriends have been into.

[Joey]

I've never had that fantasy, it's just not my thing. But a lot of women do actually. I've had exs (and my current bf) tell me some crazy stuff that their girlfriends have been into.

Really?? woah! i dont know.. i just wouldnt have thought that subject would have been a fantasy situation.

[Wruinin]

I must sound here like a complete freak but I just happen to have all kinds of sexual fantasies. I once heard about a guy from San Francisco who feels as a lesbian woman. For most people this sounds completely freaky, like he must be nuts, but I know exactly what he means. I sometimes imagine I am a woman and have sex with another woman who is in a position of .... complete with any kind of role you can imagine. So normally I just imagine these things when I am with my gf and that's how I cope with it. I keep telling her, sex is just a game, I love you , all that, but sex is just a game. But I understand for her and lots of people it is not just a game, but some kind of expression of love, which makes absolutely no sense to me. I express love by being with her doing whatever. Cooking, watching movies, talking to her or having sex.

[sourpuss]

I was shocked at some of the stuff my boyfriend told me about his ex. SHOCKED
He said it was really unhealthy and uncomfortable but she wouldn't have it any other way and it was either like that, or no sex at all. yikes

[Wruinin]

I was shocked at some of the stuff my boyfriend told me about his ex. SHOCKED
He said it was really unhealthy and uncomfortable but she wouldn't have it any other way and it was either like that, or no sex at all. yikes

you mean anal sex?

[sourpuss]

you mean anal sex?

No, like violent fantasies.

[Faerunner]

*waves* I'm bi, and wouldn't mind a semi-open relationship (but would want one primary mate/spouse), but I'm taken Sorry! People like me do exist, though, and if you're uncomfortable with your girlfriend and really want to find someone else, I suggest you do it sooner rather than later. You're only wasting your time and hers, and she'll forgive you easier for breaking up with her if you keep it short - don't let this go on too much longer if you decide you don't want to stay with her, or have doubts. It sounds like you like her and do want a committed relationship, so you'll have to really think about whether you can stick to just fantasies and be happy, or whether 2 or 3 years (or more) down the road you'll end up wanting to explore again.

My advice is to -really- think about your life's priorities, including sex as one of them, and compare yours to hers (either you know already what she wants or you can slip it into discussion... "wouldn't having a puppy be nice?"). If all she wants is 2 kids and an apartment overlooking the bay, and you'd rather have a nice open relationship and an apartment over the nearest club, you might want to share this with her and split. If you can reconcile your vision of the future with hers, she might be worth staying with... it's all up to you to decide how you want to proceed. Even if you don't think this girl is The One, you owe it to her to have a good reason for either staying or leaving.

As an aside, I've had rape fantasies but I draw the line between fantasy and reality pretty strongly. Imagining someone breaking into your room to have his way with you is one thing; it's a consenting fantasy situation even if the fantasy is about non-consent. Experiencing it is something entirely different, and I would not want to actually be raped nor would most people. I will ask my fiance to play rough with me sometimes but he knows how far to go. I think the submission-type fantasies are relatively common in terms of "kinky" stuff people think about, but most people don't get that hardcore.

[Hopeless Dork]

I think "Rape Fantasy" from the one who would be the victim in the fantasy is sort of an oxymoron... if you are wanting it to happen, its not rape... its rough sex. Whether its role play or in your head, having the control to consent to it, wanting for it to happen -- takes away the definition of rape as being against someones will.