[rcoreyus]

Jns:
I don't know where to get data. I've seen the Reeperbahn in Hamburg (rather an amusing place BTW), where there are both places with porn booths and prostitutes (legal) on the streets. The prostitutes seem to be doing a good business - but I couldn't guess at the relative amounts of traffic.

I guess that as porn technology gets better there may be fewer men hiring prostitutes. On the other hand, the internet has made it a lot easier to find prostitutes. Not sure how the balance is going.

I do know that for me a person would always be superior to a movie (ignoring risks, morality, etc) .

[Joey]

ooooow stories like these make me worry about my relationship

[DramaQueen007]

i know this is true of my partner ...tried to sort it and just found all the naked and porn links again despite him telling me he wouldnt and would wait for me only 2 weks ago. I give up, he says its not me...i give up

[stressed]

I think prostitution can involve more than just sex. There are men who enjoy the power they have over prostitutes more than the actual sex. That they pay and can do whatever they want. That's why I don't think prostitution will ever disappear, no matter how porn turns into 3D or if computer monitors become 3D.

Considering the cases of women whose parters' spend more time watching porn than have sex with them (and not just in WH or the internet, there are articles about it everywhere) I'd say that men do feel more pressured and insecure about their performance than they used to in the past. This, in addition to widely available porn, can make certain men believe that they 'prefer' masturbation, when what they actually prefer is the safety of not being judged by their partner.

[darcdante]

Considering the cases of women whose parters' spend more time watching porn than have sex with them (and not just in WH or the internet, there are articles about it everywhere) I'd say that men do feel more pressured and insecure about their performance than they used to in the past. This, in addition to widely available porn, can make certain men believe that they 'prefer' masturbation, when what they actually prefer is the safety of not being judged by their partner.

Brilliant! I mean that, I think you have an incredibly accurate theory here. I just read a post in another thread that mentioned how women are sent mixed messages regarding sex (wanting too little is being frigid and wanting too much is being a "ho"). Men are also sent mixed messages. We're told constantly that we must always be sexual conquerors, but we're also now being told to respect women and to never treat them as sex objects. I still struggle with intimacy at times because I grew up with almost an idealized view of women, and I have a hard time outwardly showing my desire for her in any way more than just a playful slap on the butt.

At the same time, men now grow up with porn. These videos play on men's insecurities by showing men with penises way above the norm and women who are ready to go as soon as the camera starts rolling. The penis size issue aside, I think the art of seduction is dying. If the woman doesn't respond immediately to a man's advances, he may hesitate and draw inward. Likewise, women sometimes want a man to pursue sex aggressively, but our society has begun to teach men that this is improper. Our schools don't differentiate between the workplace and the bedroom, so men carry over one behavior into the other, not realizing that showing sexual desire is a trait most women want so long as she knows she means more than just sex to the man she's with.

As I stated earlier, it's something I still struggle with myself. Our society sends entirely mixed signals to both men and women when it comes to sex and it's complicated the issue way more than it should be.

[SFDad]

"After reading such stories, articles (even newspaper articles) and opinions I must say I'm very disappointed, if not disgusted, in men."

Wow. I have to tell you, your post sent up warning flags to me. First you mention lots of research but don't cite anything in particular- telling us to go check ourselves. So I really don't know the veracity of your claim.

Secondly- why are you disgusted in men? Even if most men felt this way, as long as the man you are with prefers you to his hand, why would it matter?

Look- as a long time man, I see the pro's and con's here- masturbation is easy, relatively convenient and far less work- all things you mention. But would I chose it over hot sex with my wife of over 20 years- not a chance.

[rcoreyus]

It would be interesting to interview prostitutes and see what their clients mostly want. It might be simple sex, it might be dominance / control. Maybe it is just "no expectations" sex. Probably it is very variable.

[Hopeless Dork]

I think there is no performance pressure with prostitutes, its all about the guy's pleasure in the same way as masturbation. They can come early, they can take a while (if they pay extra obviously) they don't have to even attempt to make her orgasm, they don't have to worry about their size, they don't have to worry about cuddeling or intimacy...

so in many ways sex with a prostitute is a lot like masturbation... but also has the added benefit of getting to hear what they want to hear (the moans, the oh this is the best, if they ask that of the prostitute) without putting forth the effort to gain that response authentically.

I think questioning if men prefer masturbation to intimate sex with a partner is different than questioning if a man might prefer masturbation to a warm body that is there for them to do as they please as it is with a prostitute.

[stressed]

Wow. I have to tell you, your post sent up warning flags to me. First you mention lots of research but don't cite anything in particular- telling us to go check ourselves. So I really don't know the veracity of your claim.

Well, I cannot post any links and I cannot scan and post foreign (to you) newspapers, can I? Links are not allowed here. Next time I come across something in particular I will certainly PM you about it. If you are implying that I came up with all that by myself, because I have nothing better to do, then you are wrong.

Secondly- why are you disgusted in men? Even if most men felt this way, as long as the man you are with prefers you to his hand, why would it matter?

I'm not saying most men feel this way, but on the other hand it would be hard for those who do to admit it. Why it matters to me (since you're making it personal) is because:

1) My man has also preferred his hand due to insecurities in the past.
2) If I ever get to be with another man in my life I will have that to be concerned about as well.
3) I find it an interesting observation, to which I am against. I would also be against women who prefer masturbation to their men, I am just not that particularly interested in women since I don't live with one.

Look- as a long time man, I see the pro's and con's here- masturbation is easy, relatively convenient and far less work- all things you mention. But would I chose it over hot sex with my wife of over 20 years- not a chance.

I'd think it would be easier for a man to masturbate next to his SO, or have his SO masturbate him. I just never expected a certain number of men to prefer doing it by themselves than with their partner (when their partner is available). I'm not against masturbation, I just don't see the point in it when there's a willing partner available. Not in the slightest.

Thank you for your input.

[rcoreyus]

You are probably right, but if I were to use a prostitute, I'd still fell self conscious about poor performance. Maybe that's one of the reasons I have no interest in prostitutes.

If it is stress over performance though, I'd expect the men who preferred masturbation to be the ones who cared about their partner's pleasure. Those that didn't care wouldn't have any reason to feel stress: it would just be a "warm body".

Maybe people are very different in what the expect from sex. If it is just a way to have an orgasm, then masturbation (or a prostitute to simply simulate you) might be preferred. I wonder if there are many women who feel this way about sex - sounds like there might be from some of the posts here

I think there is no performance pressure with prostitutes, its all about the guy's pleasure in the same way as masturbation. They can come early, they can take a while (if they pay extra obviously) they don't have to even attempt to make her orgasm, they don't have to worry about their size, they don't have to worry about cuddeling or intimacy...

so in many ways sex with a prostitute is a lot like masturbation... but also has the added benefit of getting to hear what they want to hear (the moans, the oh this is the best, if they ask that of the prostitute) without putting forth the effort to gain that response authentically.

I think questioning if men prefer masturbation to intimate sex with a partner is different than questioning if a man might prefer masturbation to a warm body that is there for them to do as they please as it is with a prostitute.