[MiniVanMan]

I feel sexy any time I'm being sexual. Alone or with someone. Either way. Heck, I feel sexy just talking about this!

I would feel sexy masturbating in front of my wife if I thought she'd enjoy watching. But since sex is so low on her priority list (as she likes to say), she's just not interested in what I do or how I do it.

I used to have a girlfriend who preferred to have sex with the lights on because that way she could watch my face as I climaxed. She loved all the silly contortions I would display. It would put a big smile on her face. I found that quite charming.

Now that I know my wife is masturbating as much as I do, virtually overnight I've developed this fantasy of watching her do it. It would be a big turn on, but I'm also just curious about how it all happens. How does she start? What happens first? Does she use any toys? What exactly is she doing that feels so good? Does she thrash around or lay there quietly? Does she make noises? What happens when she's finished? Does she have to clean herself up, like I do?

I could go on and on. I find all aspects of sexuality fascinating.

- MiniVanMan

[StillLearnin]

And, again back to you Do you find it sexy to masterbate in front of your partner, or would you? Or, would you only masterbate on your own?

Haha, I've become curious over how each person thinks on this... Soooorrrry....

CW

I would love to be able to do this in front of my wife, and her with me. She has never masturbated, in her life, or so she claims. Maybe I should start it off and ask her to just watch me. Then maybe she can learn to explore her own body and experiment with what makes her feel good.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well I think that sucks MiniVanMan, I get " fear" as to a reason not to be adventurous, but geez, if she went back to when she was 20, surely she had some adventure in her then, and visiting the past could have bought her more into the future. Pretty sure that is what I did, "on my own" when my marriage broke up, I visited the "past" mentally and remember who I was, sexual/sensual/horny, not some piece of meat that is only there for vaginal sex

I do understand masterbation for men, I think it's clear that it's quicker, it's only your hand that hurts not your whole body You can drift off, dream, relax, there is no performance and no anxiety over either cumming or not being able to with your partner.

I think masterbation for women off course releaves stress as well, and I think it keeps them feeling sexy, (does it make a man feel sexy if he is sexually active via himself or with a partner?)..

And, to women, that do this on their own, do they also do it with their partners? Or is it a sacred thing that belongs to them, still feeling it's "dirty" to do in front of their partner?

And, again back to you Do you find it sexy to masterbate in front of your partner, or would you? Or, would you only masterbate on your own?

Haha, I've become curious over how each person thinks on this... Soooorrrry....

CW

[MiniVanMan]

I'll take a stab at this one from my own point of view.

For the most part I masturbate because I'm not getting my needs met by my wife. However, there have been times when I do it because, yes, I prefer it over sex. Why? It depends.

Maybe I just need some personal "me" time, just for myself. It's like drawing a hot bath, turning down the lights, and feeling the bubbles wash over me as I relax. It's time when I only think of myself. No worries. Everything goes as I want it to go. I can think of anything, any fantasy, without distractions. It's so relaxing. It gets my mind off things. These are reasons she's given me for her own masturbation.

Maybe it's early and I've got morning wood. My wife hates morning sex, but I might be able to get her in the mood after spending two or three hours trying (not an exaggeration) . So instead I take care of it myself.

Maybe my wife is willing to accommodate me but not particularly interested in it herself. She wants to end it quickly and get on with her day. Not much of a turn on, really. So if that's the vibe I get sometimes I'll just fly solo, thanks anyway.

Maybe I'm horny but I just don't have the energy to be that physically active at that particular time for whatever reason. If she wants to ride me while I lay on my back, that's fine. If she needs a more responsive husband than I can be at that instant, it's not going to work for either of us. This rarely happens, I just want to say. Last time was after a long day of skiing, I was exhausted and sore from being so out of shape. I could hardly move. I was horny, but me just laying there wasn't going to do it for her. So I took care of it alone.

Maybe I just need something different once in a while. A different sensation that she can't give me. Perhaps I've found an old sex toy that I haven't enjoyed for months or even years. Sure, I'll indulge. It spices things up. Makes life more interesting.

To be clear, probably 95% of the time I will prefer sex with my wife. Her warm body, her scents and sounds, and the intimacy that sex involves are all just so wonderful. But there are reasons, legitimate reasons, that I might not ALWAYS prefer sex to masturbation.

- MiniVanMan

[MiniVanMan]

But, seriously that poses a question? Why would someone not do something that their partner would love to do when it's purely adventurous, tame, only slightly risky, and fits within boundaries? "Simply sex" instead of a bed, in the woods?

I don't get that...

CW

To quote my wife: "It's just not something that interests me".



- MiniVanMan

[CHANDLERS WISH]

My ex wanted me to tie her up in the woods and have sex with her. Never happened.

Well, all I can say to that, (as I am the one who wrote that's my fantasy), is my "now" boyfriend better one day, or else he'll be my ex

Just kidding.

But, seriously that poses a question? Why would someone not do something that their partner would love to do when it's purely adventurous, tame, only slightly risky, and fits within boundaries? "Simply sex" instead of a bed, in the woods?

I don't get that...

CW

[rcoreyus]

I think people tend to judge this by their own experiences. If someone has a partner who is very lazy in bed, they may assume that most people of the gender are similar. Hopeless Dork seems to be what I would consider an excellent lover - someone who does their best to please their partner, and it sounds like her partner is the same. (Hope she and her SO realizes how lucky they are ). A lot of people are in much less symmetric relationships.

Similarly someone in an excellent sexual relationship may assume that most people behave the way they do, and when they hear someone complaining about a bad relationship tend to think that person is at least partially at fault.

[Hopeless Dork]

Your second post was a little more fair sighted teikyo so i'll respond to that you see, in your experience it may be that you do all the work sexually... but it isn't the case for many women.

I bring my boyfriend to orgasm OFTEN without him having to so much as lift a finger... and he does the same for me. We have sex in positions where my fitness and flexibility are called upon a lot more than his -- and we also have sex in positions where its a good thing he ate his wheaties that day.

Its a give and take for us. Not only do accomodate his physical fantasies I do my darndest to accomadate his visual ones as well. I put on shows for him, I dress sexy and keep it changing from little skirts and cotton panties and knee socks to little black dresses with garter belts and thigh highs, costumes you name it... I'm in it.

I'm not a flat on your back you do the work kind of girl like the ones you seem to be describing... and neither are many of the women here participating in a sex forum.

You see a female that is actually on here curious to learn more ways to please her partner is not likely the type of female that you are discussing that you have had to do all the work with.

So your blanket statement is going to ruffle feathers and it sounds like thats what you were trying to do.

I think insinuating any men would prefer one to the other could be seen by men as belittling them.

I also think the obvious answer would be for the same reason women do it. Which has nothing to do with belittling anyone. Other answers that aren't p.c. might be valid but I guess people need to look them up.

[Fallen1]

I can't believe I got an infraction for belittling the opposite gender. Nice. On a thread about why men prefer to masturbate instead of sex which belittles men. Okay, well all I can say is I guess there's no easy answer for why men do it. I guess the best way to answer the question would be why do some women prefer to masturbate instead of having sex? Men most likely do it for the exact same reasons.

I think you need to re-read the title and the original post of this thread. Title reads "men who prefer ....". It does not say ALL MEN.

And yes, belittling a member here or anyone for that matter is not tolerated on this forum and can lead to banning.