[emptypea2001]

Most men need to physically release their semen about 3 times per week, beyond that, it just builds to a point then, can back up into the seminal vesicles and prostrate and cause urinary and prostate problems. So the idea of holding off for two weeks will develop a linear quantity of semen is false; it just creates and environment for health problems.

Likely, if he is spending a lot of time on the computer and you don't know what he is doing, he is looking at porn and masturbating - hence the smaller quantity of semen. Use the advice above and approach this conversation casually, first admitting your masturbation and you will get honest answers.

[JennieMay]

Hi Iseulda,
My husband reaches orgasim really quik since I take so long he's too tired by then to make me reach mine. So I guess it is satisfying to him and not me. I don't feel like I should have to tell him to do me first by other means, he should want to is what exspect in a marraige. That's why I bought a vib. not to long ago, since he doesn't help I have to get it on my own. I want to have more sex because I like being close to him because I love him.

[JennieMay]

Emptypea, why do I need to admit to him my masterbating if he's been doing it for God knows when, I figure that's why he has little sperm. Besides I hardly ever do it because I don't have much privacy. Also his computer is facing in such a way that when I walk in the room I can't see it right away and by then he's already clicked off of what he was looking at. This won't last long, next month I'm changing the room so I will be able to see as soon as I walk in. I've asked him before if he was looking at porn, but he denyed it of course.

[JennieMay]

Thanks Hopeless Dork, I agree he is spending too much time on the computer, some time this year I will be getting that computer in the living room so he won't get that kind of privacy anymore.

No we are not trying to get pregnant, he doesn't want any kids, besides we're too old now pass age 40 is not safe.

I know I need to comunicate with him more, I just have a hard time do that.

[Guest]

Jennie May, why don't you volunteer to relieve him when you think he may be in the mood for "release" ? Unless of course you already do? Why not take the initiative and ask him every other day if he would like you to relieve him? This way he will soon associate sex, and the sexual release, with you and not solely with himself. Just an idea?? You could ask him if he fancies a session when you both masturbate together??
And yes, emptypea is correct, going long periods without fluid release is bad health for men. Ideally sexual release for me would be twice/three times a week otherwise I do get a build up of sexual tension.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

My husband reaches orgasim really quik since I take so long he's too tired by then to make me reach mine

Most women want intimacy and not the quick in and out.. Perhaps that is why you only have sex once a week, I believe that we have to "give and take"... Take the intimacy and he has to give, as well, as well as take the "quick" sex, call that "horny" but maybe change the way in which you do it, like over the sink as your doing dishes, just plain horny sex.

why do I need to admit to him my masterbating if he's been doing it for God knows when, I figure that's why he has little sperm. Besides I hardly ever do it because I don't have much privacy

Because a marriage is about honesty and if he knew you did, maybe, he would want to watch, maybe you can do that, or maybe he wouldn't like it, and feel in-adequate, which every way you want to look at it, marriage is about being open and honest. Your figuring that's the reason and so, instead of being honest and talking, your planning on moving the computer so he can't do what he is doing (IF) that's the reason... probably is, I agree masterbating, on-going does make you cum less, but guys correct me, it shouldn't still make you "cum quickly"... Rather, a longer period of time...

some time this year I will be getting that computer in the living room so he won't get that kind of privacy anymore

Where is it? In the bedroom?

I know I need to comunicate with him more, I just have a hard time do that.

Then that is something you need to change. Your married. One of the beauties over that is to be able to talk about ANYTHING, and work through things. Don't be frightened, it's okay to communicate, it's a neccessity in marriage.

why don't you volunteer to relieve him when you think he may be in the mood for "release" ?

I find it sexy to let a man do this in front of you... He thinks it's "taboo" discusting, ie) we think it is, not at all, it can be sexy, and if you let a man be free, in that, he can be himself and in that he can do things that you would have / want to experience... Nothing wrong with that suggestion.

But, if it becomes a "me, me, me" always do this and he neglects you, that's not on either, you have to have boundries and you HAVE to talk to each other.

CW

[JennieMay]

Hi Thomas, I did tell him a week ago that if and when he needed me to give him oral sex, that I could do it and all he needed to do is say so. I even told him that I dream about us having sex, and still he does not act like he wants it. I have to be the one to approuch him to have sex, and then he's done in 3 to 5 mins.

He's masterbated in front of me before and I don't mind it, I would rather him do that then look at porn. He likes to pleasure himself but not me.

A couple of days ago I told him I wanted to go to the lengrae store to find a top to sleep in, and so he went with me and I noticed that as I was trying on some tops he was looking at the adult toys, when I came out of the dressing room, I started to look at the toys too and asked him about buying one. He said no, I said fine because I knew we had other things we needed to do that day then shop for toys, anyway later in the car I asked him if he knew where my g-spot was and he said that I should know and tell him where it is. I was like I don't know if I can't reach it but that he could try to find it for me, and he just said ok. It's been three days now and I get no response.

[Guest]

Hi JennieMay. Millions men would wish that their partners would volunteer to relieve them orally. I wish my partner would do ! If only. Sounds like you are going that extra mile and I can understand while you're frustrated. A man can't ask for more than that.I don't know what else to suggest. Even if you love a partner very much, if they have no interest in sex with you, the relationship can just die out of resentment. An older grilfriend of mine years ago said to me not to masturbate too much as I won't want to have sex with a partner. Maybe he "loves himself", if you see what I mean, more than wants to be loving you?
I'm sorry to say this to you but it sounds like he's not interested in sex with you. take care x

[JennieMay]

Hi JennieMay. Millions men would wish that their partners would volunteer to relieve them orally. I wish my partner would do ! If only. Sounds like you are going that extra mile and I can understand while you're frustrated. A man can't ask for more than that.I don't know what else to suggest. Even if you love a partner very much, if they have no interest in sex with you, the relationship can just die out of resentment. An older grilfriend of mine years ago said to me not to masturbate too much as I won't want to have sex with a partner. Maybe he "loves himself", if you see what I mean, more than wants to be loving you?
I'm sorry to say this to you but it sounds like he's not interested in sex with you. take care x

I know he loves me just not in the way he loves himself, and I can't compare to all those women in his porn. He's missing out on me because in the end he will have to deal with his guilt. God knows how to change him, because I can't. Thanks Tomas I know you mean well.
God Bless,
JM

[JennieMay]

Here's an update, I had a long talk with my husband and he admitted that he was looking at porn and said that he won't be doing that anymore. We are also having more sex because of this and yes I do notice more sperm. God has a way to changing people, if you pray and beleive that God is all powerful and through Jesus Christ our prayers are answerd. We are also going to move the computer out of the bedroom in a couple of weeks, he's already said he was fine with that. He said since he liked sex in the morning, he didn't want to wake me up, I know I'm a sleepy head, but I told him he could wake me up if he wanted to. So the last few mornings he's been either masterbating infront of me or on me, and I've been giving him oral too and it's been great. We havn't had vaginal sex yet because I have a yeast infection that I can't seem to get rid of, been to the doctorsand I've taken all meds and still nothing. I hope it clears ups soon or I'm going to explode.