[autummleaf]

Hello girls, I'm 25 years old and I've been married for two years now, my husband is 33 and he's the best husband in the world :responsible,funny,cooks for me,loves me and takes care of me a lot, a lot ..... but since we got married he just asked me for having sex like 4times!!! and I'm the one who is always asking for sex .
I've talked to him and he says that he is always tired and that he's got many bills to pay and that his mind is in other things but sex and that our relationship is so important and out of this world that sex is not so important, i wonder if it's normal? might he be ill?
he always has a reason for not having sex ...
he's too tired , too busy, too relaxed, too hungry, too thirsty....etc etc etc.you know what i mean?? he says that it's got nothing to do with me...it's him! he says ...and although he's good in bed ... 99.9% of the time gives me orgasms ....i don't know why he is not interested in sex since we got married
Regards from chile

[kaylar]

There may be other reasons, but you don't
want to jump too fast in any direction.

I'd let the sex question go for now, and
enjoy what you have.

The reason why he might not be interested
in sex could be something you don't want to
know right now.

[amom]

There may be other reasons, but you don't
want to jump too fast in any direction.

I'd let the sex question go for now, and
enjoy what you have.

The reason why he might not be interested
in sex could be something you don't want to
know right now.

..you mean for instance like he has a string of other wives or women? This is very strange for a young healthy fellow.

[kaylar]

I was thinking DC not AC

[autummleaf]

hello thanks for writing ...but what's AC and DC???
regards from chile

[amom]

hello thanks for writing ...but what's AC and DC???
regards from chile

...she is saying maybe he is gay..

[ladylove]

I know what you're going through. I have he same problem also. I enjoy sex very much and like you say the sex is great when we do it, but I am tired of asking. He says he doesn't have the urge, just not as interested as I am in it. This is upsetting to me and has caused problems. If I didn't initiate, then we would never do anything. What do we do? I simply don't know.

[kaylar]

Sometimes a man has certain gender issues...
and in those cases you either destroy the
relationship by question and pressure or
you go on with it...hoping that he works
it out or choses you above others....

[tabbycat]

Hm...just thought it rather important to mention that affairs and such are not the only reason an otherwise loving husband might not want to have sex. There's definately something going on with him, perhaps something he's embarassed to tell you, or doesn't quite understand himself. Perhaps he has developed some ED issues and doesn't want you to know, or perhaps there is some emotional issue/trauma/whatever that's blocking him from wanting to have sex. Maybe he wants you to do something sexually but is afraid/embarassed to ask, and has instead withdrawn. If you can make it clear that you love him no matter what, and want to work through this with him, perhaps you can draw out the reason here.

From what I have read, you are not alone here--while it's unusual, it's not unheard of, and it doesn't have to be an unreasolvable crisis.

[Sue123]

ladies

I'm definitely no expert on men, but what I do know is that if they haven't had sex in 3 days or less and are not excited about your advances to them......there is something definitely wrong. Let's not beat around the bush. A man that hasn't had sex with someone else (male or female) is definitely more than happy to have sex with their wives. Goes the same for women. Ofcourse, depression or medicine could be the reason why they wouldn't want sex,but there would be other symptoms of depression. change in appetite, mood swings, sleep problems(being awake too much or being asleep too much),etc.....

I've come across a couple people who have had good sex relations with their spouse only to have the other "come out" as a lesbian. That's another reason for not wanting sex.

There is a reason though. Men just don't say "I'm not in the mood" for no reason. Something would be bothering them. Just be supportive as honesty will only help both of you in the long run.