[pretzel]

I think HD hits a big point and one of the biggest points of contention between partners, that's the embarassment of talking about not only sex in general, but what specific acts are pleasurable or not.

Getting over that barrier is for alot of people life trying to scale the Great Wall of China.

[Hopeless Dork]

Its a bit like jumping into a cold swimming pool.... some have to wet their feet first... jump out... back with one foot... then out while others can jump right in. The sooner you get in the water, the sooner you will accustom your body to the temperature and the sooner you will be having fun

Baby steps. If you are uncomfortable saying the words, start with emails or notes... sometimes its easier to write naughty things than say them. As you gain confidence through his responses you can slowly but surely start opening up when you are in the same room... and then soon you will be holding each other talking explicitly and thinking nothing of it but excitement and closeness.

[jns]

There is a lot of good advice on this thread, especially from schizuki. Sex education at school, with friends comparing notes or other from other sources usually doesn't include good information on bringing a woman to orgasm. Since guys have to innately understand what they are doing or need to go through a learning process, many times an inexperienced guy won't know what to do. A guy with more experience may also not know what to do, but maybe that was because he wasn't paying attention. Of course, communications with the woman can shorten the learning process.