[CHANDLERS WISH]

OnTheWay...

The Moderator closed your thread on romance novels, it would attract "troll posting" fictitious people who like to wind people up.... However, as you bring up romance novels again in this thread, which I believe you wrote before you commenced your own:-

It seems to me that you want to try things yourself, anal, with this person, as you have in the past but you mention that she had an abusive past in this regard, therefore, this hasn't occured as of yet. But you also mention she likes deep penetration so that means it hasn't affected her as far as normal sex goes.

So why can't she read romantic novels and you do know the difference between romantic novels and reading erotica?

You can't put porn and normal romantic novels with swear words and intimacy "written words" whether it's sexy, horny or sensual, in the same breath.



CW

[rcoreyus]

I'm going to agree with the idea that porn, erotica, romance stories are similar. The present an unrealistic image of a fantasy partner.

[bubbles]

novels gives the reader the creativity to put the partner as who they want it to be, use imagination. Create the fantasy. Porn is watching naked people ing, so not so much creativity.

[OnTheWay]

art and creativity

let me get this straight?!?! So if an artist like Salvador Dali paints a picture of a naked lady it is considered artwork... correct?? photography and filmography are considered types of art as well.... but it is not considered artistic if a person uses photos or film to capture the naked body or sexual acts... some naked photos and films are made with both creativity and imagination... just because you don't approve does not mean that it is not art... thoughts on this?!?!? I agree eroticia, romance, novels and pornography are not the same thing but they do share many characteristics... I am just saying that I don't think necesarilly there is anything wrong with this guy looking at pornography... beauty and art are in the eye of the beholder. I especially don't think that there is anything wrong with this young lady, just because her boyfriend looks at images does not mean he does not love, care for her or find her attractive

[Hopeless Dork]

I am just saying that I don't think necesarilly there is anything wrong with this guy looking at pornography... beauty and art are in the eye of the beholder. I especially don't think that there is anything wrong with this young lady, just because her boyfriend looks at images does not mean he does not love, care for her or find her attractive

Did you miss the part about him looking at porn/masturbating all the time and only having sex with her twice a month? Thats not exactly a healthy relationship with porn this guy has. I'm not saying porn is the devil, I'm saying his continued use of it over intimacy with her will be the catalyst to him losing her if he doesn't get it together.

In agreement with there is nothing wrong with her. There isn't. She's a normal girl that wants to have sexy with her boyfriend more than twice month. Her boyfriend seems to have either an intimacy issue or a porn addiction but even if you can't agree with that... do you really think its healthy in a relationship where the porn and masturbation takes priority over sex with their breathing partner?

And yeah, some erotic movies and pictures are just as artistic as erotic literature etc... but we're not talking 'erotica' we're talking internet porn.

You mention the bit about erotic novels being a woman's equalizer to porn... eh not so much. I'd bet you any amount of donuts that a woman that is interested in reading erotica is going to have more of an interest in having sex with her partner than the opposite of that.

Not many guys will say their wife keeps locking herself in the bathroom with her fabio book and cranking away and won't ever give them any. But you will hear time and time again of the sexually neglected women that get rejected over and over meanwhile their significant other is getting himself off to porn.

Porn is not the villian here, its the selfishness that goes into using it while avoiding intimacy with a partner that needs/wants them.

[rcoreyus]

I think its hopeless to try to separate erotic art and porn - erotic books and porn - there is just no clear definition.

We've seen lots of cases in these discussions of both men and women who deny their partner sex - often while masturbating themselves.

[sourpuss]

I'm going to agree with the idea that porn, erotica, romance stories are similar. The present an unrealistic image of a fantasy partner.

I'd even throw romantic comedy movies in there. Which is exactly why I don't watch them, they are totally unrealistic and only make you feel bad about your own reality.

[Hopeless Dork]

I'd even throw romantic comedy movies in there. Which is exactly why I don't watch them, they are totally unrealistic and only make you feel bad about your own reality.

I HATE romantic comedies, I just can't stomach them. I don't read romance novels either.

Rcoreyus, I know there are men being denied sex, and some men that are being denied sex by partners that choose masturbation... but I'm just making a point that an overtly sexual woman (that reads erotic or even masturbates to porn) is more likely to want, crave and desire sex with her partner. If a woman is sexual she's generally sexual with her partner. If a woman is sexual enough to seek out visual stimulation, written-word stimulation... there is greater possibility that she will also use that sexuality with her partner.

Women don't have refractory periods and masturbating or having sex generally just leads to a craving of MORE of it, not less of it. Where as it seems a lot of men claim low-sexuality to their partners... yet have a healthy appetite that they prefer to spend on porn.

I know there are exceptions, I know there are men that can ejaculate back to back all day every day, I'm sure there are. But I was just making a point to say as far as the porn/erotica debate goes ... that you just generally don't hear (often) about women choosing fabio novels over sex with their spouse. I'm sure it happens as I'm sure everything happens -- but its just kind of comparing apples to oranges.

More typically women denying sex to their partners are either asexual (no drive, low drive, mental blocks to sex), upset in the relationship or unsatisfied with the sex they are being offered. Its generally, not at least an issue that I've seen posted here where a female s.o... masturbates to books every day but refuses sex to her husband.

Where we get (sometimes more than) 10 posts a week from women being rejected sex in favor of porn. I know that it doesn't matter what the cause for rejection is, that it hurts regaurdless... but I'm just calling out that the whole.. fabio novels have stolen my wife from me scenerio are just not something that is all that realistic.

You don't hear of women entering sex rehabs for romance novel addictions... you just don't. So while the idea may be the same on paper... realistically it just doesn't seem to be anywhere near the same type of relationship killer.

[Hopeless Dork]

I've never read one of those shirtless guy on the cover romance novels, and I don't personally know any women that do. It seems like guys want to think women have this draw to romance novels... and say let us have our porn you have your novels... but I don't know anyone that does the cheesy sex novels for the purposes of masturbation.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

let me get this straight?!?! So if an artist like Salvador Dali paints a picture of a naked lady it is considered artwork... correct??

My opinion on that? Yes.. Unfortunately, if we go back 100 years, or even more, it's always the "ladies" that are painted naked... But it is art, it's showing the body, nature, the way we were born, un-dressed.... Natural... Art.

So, is watching people perform sex acts naked Art? It's natural yes.. they are un-dressed as they were born, but isn't it the norm that two people naked together, is reserved for a couple? Marriage? Private?

Yet a single person showing herself/himself, alone in art is acceptable.

photography and filmography are considered types of art as well.... but it is not considered artistic if a person uses photos or film to capture the naked body or sexual acts... some naked photos and films are made with both creativity and imagination... just because you don't approve does not mean that it is not art... thoughts on this?!?!?


Going to go with, but couples are meant to be exclusive are they not? And in that, what's behind closed doors is behind closed doors. It shouldn't be known, discussed or shown.

So, no I don't see it as art. I see it as exhibition.. An exhibitionist after all flashes, shows... That's not art.

I agree eroticia, romance, novels and pornography are not the same thing but they do share many characteristics... I am just saying that I don't think necesarilly there is anything wrong with this guy looking at pornography... beauty and art are in the eye of the beholder. I especially don't think that there is anything wrong with this young lady, just because her boyfriend looks at images does not mean he does not love, care for her or find her attractive

I see romantic novels as exactly that. A writer, however to obtain business will have to spice things up.. And, so they add the swear words, the visualisation.. 25% of people have visualisation 75% do not, that is a fact. So, in order to show romance, love, isn't there lust? And, in lust, isn't there chemistry? And, in chemistry, isn't there sex? Yet, pornography, erotica is not lust, love.. It's sex... hunger... attraction.

I still believe that a man looking at a naked women in pornography, is searching, looking, wanting, missing.

However, a man looking at a woman in bathers, admiring, in a magazine? Or a Movie Start, is still fantasy, but admiring beauty but content with whom he is with and sees her as beautiful as well, IF he can mention it in conversation in front of his woman...

AS, we would with a man we admired, and saw as "beautiful"... not withstanding the love we have but no desire if we were to meet that man, that we would act... As love rules there.