[SaharaJim]

Ayushi...sound like your boyfriend is suffering from youth,high testosterone and ignorance. Doesn't make him a bad person, but it can affect how he treats others...in this case YOU. Despite what he may think; and even tell you, he will survive on patience and masterbation. The decision to proceed in your relationship has to be mutual. Making decisions based soley on his "needs' makes him like a little boy who serves himself first at the table and leaves nothing for anyone else (you). If he can't show consideration and patience on this...how is your future life with him going to be? If he truely is "a loving boyfriend otherwise" he need to be a man and put your needs ahead of his own. In MY Humble (or not so humble) Opinion. Sex is wonderful..but "what's the big hurry?" You are young and I suspect so is he....take time and go slow- it will be better that way.

[kerry-]

He sounds like a jerk and you deserve better! Anal can be uncomfortable for lots of women (so don't think you're weird) personally I would never try it :S. You have said you're scared and that's enough to say you don't want to do it and are not ready. He can like it or lump it! Don't ever let a guy pressure you into doing those things, there's ALWAYS someone better out there for you!!!

[kygirl]

If you're not ready, you're not ready. I have a feeling though that his hormones are telling him that you tried it once and you might do it again. Just be as firm as you can. Tell him it was painful and you are not ready for intercourse at all. You can do other things to be intimate with one another and assure him that when you feel the time is right, you would like to share that with him (vaginal and/or anal sex, whichever) but now is not that time. You have to let him know you are serious though....if you just "kinda" say it like "um, I don't know if I want to do it" he's going to ask because he's not going to believe it's a true firm, NO, this was painful and I do not want to do it. End of discussion.

Good luck dear. You have LOTS of time for sex.

[sallywi2003]

If it was that bad the first time I would not subject myself to it again. Just tell him No that it is not the right time in your life to have anal sex and you want to wait a couple years before you have vaginal sex. If he does not understand then I would get rid of him.

[lexi_nc]

there are a few issues there...
sex...
how you want to have it vaginal or anal
And the bigger to issues
respect
self respect

So what is your self respect worth?
What are you worth?
Is a guy who is putting this much pressure on you worth it?
Is he showing you respect? the respect you feel you deserve?

Yeah I think by now everyone is thinking what I do believe you are thinking.....
GET A NEW MAN!!!!!
anal sex is more risky and painful then vaginal sex......especially when its with a partner when trust and respect are missing.

p.s forgive any misspellings no time for spell check

[ayushi]

thanks..
i kept all that you people said in my mind..and i know he is very considerate..i believe he is a just a bit immature..and have very clearly told him i wont go for anal until i find myself ready..even if takes me years..because after the first experience..there is some kind of fear settled inside me ..and he has agreed with all his heart..that he wont ever ask me for anal until i myself propose him for this..:-D

[LilahX]

You should NEVER do anything you're not ready for or find unpleasant. Anal is something for experienced lovers who know how to be careful and prepare propertly. There are threads on this site about how to go about it successfully. It is never easy the first few times, even with a good lover. If you wanted to wait - then wait - until you're ready and until you find someone who cares enough to take your feelings into consideration rather than his own. There is always the option of oral sex for both of you if you don't want penetration yet. Please don't give in just to please him.

[BasketCase]

Thr truth is anal sex can be a health risk when not done with great caution and care. If he made you bleed then that is an obvious hint that it wasn't done properly.. the tissue between your bum and vaginal canal is really thin and you run the risk of ripping it everytime you have anal sex. If you are relaxed and comfortable and doing it properly then you may be able to find pleasure in it. But only when you are ready. Don't let yourself be presured into something your not ready to do, even by someone you love. To have anal you must be relaxed. If your not that will just make things worse. Just tell him your not ready and leave it at that.

[maverick]

Ayushi,

Thanks for your subsequent posts, explaining your feelings. I sense that you are not really ready for sex, vaginal or otherwise. Don't let you BF or anyone pressure into something that you are not ready for. If he is not willing to respect your wishes, then this relationship is going nowhere. You are correct in being concerned about pregnancy and anal won't necessarily prevent that as you still have to deal with the "spillage" and if some of that enters your vagina, you are going to be at risk. Condom use is still necessary even for anal to assure that you won't be hearing the pitter-patter of little feet in a few months. Take your time. You have your whole life ahead of you.

[stacylyn]

ayushi sweetie if your not ready no means no...... dont do it vaginal or other wise... im wishing now ( i love my 3 kids with all my heart) but im wishing now i would have waited for the right man not three that didnt care... i wish i had waited until i was married and if he is a good guy he will understand that. if he loves you he will understand that. there is more to life than sex. it sounds like your just not there yet and it is ok. there is nothing wrong with waiting. i pray for you .....