[Day Tripper]

Im a male in my early 50s and new to this forum. I was hoping to get much needed advice and comments from the other side (the better half) (lol) on how to proceed with my dilemma. I'll try to be brief:

When I was 37, I had some very stressful things happen in my life and I was diagnosed with diabetes. By the time I hit my mid 40s, I started to get ED (Erectile Disfunction) and started the normal routine of pills (viagra, cialis), and then finally started doing injection therapy when I hit 50 because nothing else worked. That worked great, but, needless to say the pain during erection was pretty bad and the thought of putting a needle in my penis was a complete turnoff to me and a bummer in general. So . . . I elected to receive a penile implant with pump this past April. I was amazed, but, it actually is a cure for ED and I wished I had done it years before. It would have saved much stress and a good part of my sanity. ED is a horrible experience for a man. The pump works great. The whole thing is very transparent and a look and feel the same as before - mostly like I was 19 again. The sensitivity, orgasm, libido is all there. I can orgasm and continue with intercourse remaining hard even after I ejaculate if that is what my partner and I desire. It's really cool, but, nothing gold can stay. Here is my dilemma: I have been living with a worman for 5 years and I just recently found out that she and her ex husband have been sleeping together on and off for the past three years. This has caused all sorts of riffs in our relationship and we've been in no contact mode for the past three weeks. I've been thinking of moving on, but, now I'm not sure how to break the ice should I get intimate with another woman. I never really thought about it before because I thought that me and my girlfriend were in it for the long run. I know other men from other forums who have had this done and some of them don't say anything, but, those are mostly one night stands. Obviously I concerned because I really feel it is important to be honest and upfront about things in an intimate relationship - especially about something like this. I appreciate any advice and comments you might have for me. Many thanks in advance!

Day Tripper

[WildChild]

Well I'm in your age range, haven't dealt with anything like this. I think my response would depend on many factors but would really come down to the overall relationship. If I found myself attracted to a man who was caring and attentive, fun and good to be with, both sexually and in general terms, this wouldn't matter much. I would not throw it out right off the bat. It's no one's business until and unless you start moving toward being intimate.

[PandaPaws]

Well I'm in your age range, haven't dealt with anything like this. I think my response would depend on many factors but would really come down to the overall relationship. If I found myself attracted to a man who was caring and attentive, fun and good to be with, both sexually and in general terms, this wouldn't matter much. I would not throw it out right off the bat. It's no one's business until and unless you start moving toward being intimate.

+1. And the woman should understand that you couldn't help that this happened to you, and then I actually give you props for going out and doing something about it so you can still have a functional sex life! Better for you AND your partner. If a woman really cares about you and loves you, this will not be an issue.

[ItsASecret]

Personally if I were in the age range I would be attracted to the fact that you are open about your past issues and went to the lengths to correct them because it meant a lot to you. That alone is enough to put a smile on a woman's face, true honesty is sometimes hard to come by.

[Day Tripper]

Well I'm in your age range, haven't dealt with anything like this. I think my response would depend on many factors but would really come down to the overall relationship. If I found myself attracted to a man who was caring and attentive, fun and good to be with, both sexually and in general terms, this wouldn't matter much. I would not throw it out right off the bat. It's no one's business until and unless you start moving toward being intimate.

I guess it's a matter of timing and I'll know instinctively when the time is right. Thanks for your perspective, WildChild! It's what I needed to hear.

[Day Tripper]

+1. And the woman should understand that you couldn't help that this happened to you, and then I actually give you props for going out and doing something about it so you can still have a functional sex life! Better for you AND your partner. If a woman really cares about you and loves you, this will not be an issue.

Thanks, PandaPaw, I think you make an important point great point. It's true that it was something I couldn't help. Sex is very important me in an intimate relationship. I always felt I would figure the ED thing out and it was such a thrill to finally nail it. I wish more men and couples were open about these problems and seek help. Thanks again for your response.

[Day Tripper]

Personally if I were in the age range I would be attracted to the fact that you are open about your past issues and went to the lengths to correct them because it meant a lot to you. That alone is enough to put a smile on a woman's face, true honesty is sometimes hard to come by.

Yes, true honesty can lead to perfect love and trust. It really is the only way a relationship can grow. Thanks!

[CarolG]

I know it's too late but ...

Im a male in my early 50s and new to this forum. I was hoping to get much needed advice and comments from the other side (the better half) (lol) on how to proceed with my dilemma. I'll try to be brief:

When I was 37, I had some very stressful things happen in my life and I was diagnosed with diabetes. By the time I hit my mid 40s, I started to get ED (Erectile Disfunction) and started the normal routine of pills (viagra, cialis), and then finally started doing injection therapy when I hit 50 because nothing else worked. That worked great, but, needless to say the pain during erection was pretty bad and the thought of putting a needle in my penis was a complete turnoff to me and a bummer in general. So . . . I elected to receive a penile implant with pump this past April. I was amazed, but, it actually is a cure for ED and I wished I had done it years before. It would have saved much stress and a good part of my sanity. ED is a horrible experience for a man. The pump works great. The whole thing is very transparent and a look and feel the same as before - mostly like I was 19 again. The sensitivity, orgasm, libido is all there. I can orgasm and continue with intercourse remaining hard even after I ejaculate if that is what my partner and I desire. It's really cool, but, nothing gold can stay. Here is my dilemma: I have been living with a worman for 5 years and I just recently found out that she and her ex husband have been sleeping together on and off for the past three years. This has caused all sorts of riffs in our relationship and we've been in no contact mode for the past three weeks. I've been thinking of moving on, but, now I'm not sure how to break the ice should I get intimate with another woman. I never really thought about it before because I thought that me and my girlfriend were in it for the long run. I know other men from other forums who have had this done and some of them don't say anything, but, those are mostly one night stands. Obviously I concerned because I really feel it is important to be honest and upfront about things in an intimate relationship - especially about something like this. I appreciate any advice and comments you might have for me. Many thanks in advance!

Day Tripper

I dated a man for 3 years and I knew something was different but I couldn't figure it out. Well, it's been two years since we last dated and I finally figured it out tonight. Holy cow! Now here is what I have to say:

You really need to figure out what she wants before hand. Not all women like to go hours and hours non-stop. I was in my upper 40's and it hurts especially because he remained dry and I was dry because it became boring (mechanical) I don't know if the guy is stimulated when he has a pump, but now that I know what was going on with him, I could tell he wasn't feeling stimulated so he's thinking he's doing me a favor by going for hours and I'm trying to be polite by putting up with that and I did because I really really liked this man.

Also, I noticed he went to the bathroom everytime before we started and again his problem was also he couldn't come (I'm just realizing that tonight....2 years later). As we would be together more - I wasn't looking forward to it and ONLY because he was hurting me by going to long. I didn't feel comfortable telling him because I knew there was an issue and not knowing what that issue was, I was afraid of making it worse for him. I mean I never heard of a penile implant before.

So If it's a time or two with the woman, I wouldn't tell her but just be sensitive to what she wants especially if there is no moisture. If things are going good and you think you might be with her longer then a week or two - you should tell her, if she is attracted to you the way I was this man...trust me...it aint gonna make noooo difference if she is a down to earth woman.

Hope it helps