[Guest]

Please help with suggestions. I've been married for almost 20 years (we are both 40ish). Our sex life has always been only 1-2 times per month IF I'M LUCKY! I'm VERY attentive to her pleasure and we always have great sex. I perform cunnilingus and use my hands and she orgasms EVERY time. I know she masturbates although I've never seen her do it. I've walked in on her watching a movie covered up in bed where she has quickly lowered her raised knees and pulled her hands out from under the blanket. I've even been woken up in the middle of the night to the motions and sounds of her masturbating. It turns me on EXTREMELY!!! I have recently become more bold in my discussions about sex with her and have asked a few questions. I have always been more sexual than her and I've been asking questions to try and figure out why she's not as sexual as I would like. Her answers lead me to other questions and last night I asked her if she hates semen. She said "IT'S GROSS! it smells bad, it tastes bad and I hate it inside me and then running down my leg!" I have had a vasectomy and we don't use condoms. She HAS NEVER given me oral sex to completion (she has only sucked me a few times and each time for just a minute or two). She has never tasted my semen. She has never been close enough to it to smell it because I ALWAYS ejaculate inside her. I'm afraid she is avoiding sex with me because she hates semen! What can I do? She is starting to get annoyed by my questions and discussions with her about sex. I am in a CONSTANT state of horny! She won't help!

[Texasred]

I know she masturbates although I've never seen her do it. I've walked in on her watching a movie covered up in bed where she has quickly lowered her raised knees and pulled her hands out from under the blanket. I've even been woken up in the middle of the night to the motions and sounds of her masturbating.

It certainly doesn't SOUND as if you're much more sexual than her, just that as you suspect, there's something about man-woman sex she doesn't like.
Have you ever considered, when you "catch" her masturbating, just saying "Please let me do that for you?"
As to the semen thing: would she like it better if you wore a condom? I know that's a trerible solution, but so is only having sex once or twice a month!

[eleni]

im sorry but semen is quite gross.

if its the taste she's not into then you can eat different things to make it slightly more pleasant - just general healthy stuff like yoghurt and fruit and that kind of thing.
condoms are probably the way to go, if she hates the feel of it then at least that'll stop that part.

x

[WildChild]

I don't get it. It depends on the man, diet can make a big difference in taste. The less frequently you cum the thicker and stronger tasting it will be so more frequent sex would help that. Personally I love the feel and delight in it. Don't know what to suggest to get her past this.

[eleni]

see i actually dont care much for the semen itself.
i love the fact that it comes from my boyfriend and that part of our sex life is enjoying each other and the various...erm fluids

hows your relationship otherwise? x

[Mes T]

I think WC makes a good point, the frequency with which a man ejaculates makes a BIGGG difference in semen consistency and taste and smell. Do you masturbate often, in between the times you can have sex?

I don't particularly "like" semen either, but I like it when it comes from MY boyfriend just because of everything else associated with it. However... by the time I see him next we will have gone 3 months apart, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't masturbate, sooooo.... the first few times he will definitely not be coming in my mouth, that's for sure.

[rhiannon34]

I have known women that detest semen, just like your wife does. I don't get it, because I have absolutely no problem with it, and I think I would feel extremely hurt if my so acted as though my cum was battery acid, like many women do. Try a sex therapist to get past these issues.

[Guest]

Yes, I masturbate often (daily). The confusing point is, she has NEVER tasted my semen. I have not seen her smell it by putting her nose closer to it. The only time she interacts with it is when I ejaculate INSIDE her. I think the issue is that she doesn't like the inconvenience of cleaning up after sex probably because the majority of the time we do it is when we go to bed at night. The last time I "caught" her masturbating I did suggest that I help her out. She denied doing it and when I told her I heard her breathing heavy and slightly moaning she said she was dreaming of counting something. I thought about the condom thing, too. It might work. I will definitely try. She's getting annoyed with me talking to her about sex so frequently. We've never really been very talkative about it. A few weeks ago I asked her if she would want to use a vibrator (since she obviously enjoys masturbation; and I know her clitoris is the preferred way for her to orgasm). She said she would rather have a dildo (penetration) than a vibrator. Stupid me went out and bought one and she FREAKED! I think I'm going to lay low for awhile and try the condom thing in a few weeks. Thanks for all the replies. I'll reply later with the results of the condom experiment.

[pretzel]

I don't know, maybe I'm just off or something but the fact that I've never been with someone who has wanted to taste my semen has never bothered me in the least. Maybe as my father used to say, "How can you miss something you never had" isn't that bad afterall.

Truthfully, for me, that my wife thinks it's gross is ok. In the time we've been together I think less than a handful of times that we've orgasmed outside of her vagina, she'd immediately go and wash her hands. That's life.

[rcoreyus]

Argh, not good. I think its never a good idea to react badly to your SO suggesting something new in the bedroom. If she didn't want to try it - that's fine, but she should be nice about it and appreciate that you were trying to do something nice for her.

FWIW, many years ago I tried to introduce a vibrator into the bedroom. My wife also freaked. Some time later though she decided to try it (maybe had tried it herself?). Gradually it became used every time - and then (sadly) became the only way she wanted to orgasm. So your wife may change her mind - but if she hates semen, she might actually start to prefer the dildo.

..... Stupid me went out and bought one and she FREAKED! I think I'm going to lay low for awhile and try the condom thing in a few weeks......