[Hopeless Dork]

If its only been 3 weeks together... I think you definitly should not be sick of each others company But in the same vein... have you ever had a friend sleep over as a child and you guys had so much fun together she stayed another night... then you still had so much fun so you begged your parents to stay one more night... then by the 3rd day you couldn't stand the sound of each others voices and argued about everything ? LOL... I don't think its a matter of it will get worse over time, or that you will need to become more and more distant to accomadate for being together so much over time. I just mean that a little time each day should be sent doing individual activities, even just an hour. Going for a walk, sitting on the porch reading a book... just an hour where you aren't focused on anything but what you want to do and him on what he wants to do.

You don't have to leave the house to have some time for yourself... I just think its important that , even in just together 3 weeks time... you don't breathe down each others necks all day every day... we're all individuals first. Being a couple is awesome, sharing your life with someone is awesome, but we also need a wee bit of time to be ourselves for ourselves by oursleves, in my opinion.

Also if you guys have just been together only 3 weeks I think its too soon to gauge him not wanting sex that often, could be he is just getting comfortable with the idea, etc.

[Ashuray]

If its only been 3 weeks together... I think you definitly should not be sick of each others company But in the same vein... have you ever had a friend sleep over as a child and you guys had so much fun together she stayed another night... then you still had so much fun so you begged your parents to stay one more night... then by the 3rd day you couldn't stand the sound of each others voices and argued about everything ? LOL... I don't think its a matter of it will get worse over time, or that you will need to become more and more distant to accomadate for being together so much over time. I just mean that a little time each day should be sent doing individual activities, even just an hour. Going for a walk, sitting on the porch reading a book... just an hour where you aren't focused on anything but what you want to do and him on what he wants to do.

You don't have to leave the house to have some time for yourself... I just think its important that , even in just together 3 weeks time... you don't breathe down each others necks all day every day... we're all individuals first. Being a couple is awesome, sharing your life with someone is awesome, but we also need a wee bit of time to be ourselves for ourselves by oursleves, in my opinion.

Also if you guys have just been together only 3 weeks I think its too soon to gauge him not wanting sex that often, could be he is just getting comfortable with the idea, etc.

hmm i see i asked him if he wanted to play on his ps3 yesterday or if he wanted to go to his cousin to spend some time messing around on their cars but then he was like "is something wrong? do you want me to leave?" lol! he thinks its weird when i ask him if he wants to do something alone.. but well i guess our daily routine will be broken soon since were saving up for a house and were going to look at some of them eventually buying one and then buying a puppy once we have a house ^^ even if its just a pet i guess its still a big change to the normal every day life

[stressed]

From someone who has moved to another country for a man, only to find a stash of porn, old sex photos and no sex life (in a very small flat, where we see each other all the time):

- The porn and the photos are a result of him living alone. Even if he had decided to throw it once you moved in, he just never got to do it. It's hard for them to adjust to the new lifestyle with a woman around. Even if you made such a huge change in life, he still lives in the same apartment living the same life he had before, only you live with him too now. You have experienced the change first hand, but he needs more time to realize it.

- You are lucky to get sex twice a week, it took us months before we even had sex once since I moved in. It's not just about seeing each other all the time (I see my guy all the time when he doesn't work and I still think about having sex with him, it doesn't affect me, but not everyone is like that) but also about quality time together. He can show you the city, since you've just moved in, or show you a few nice places, teach you things about the country. It's important that you enjoy the time you are together and you aren't bored. Because when you are together all the time but are bored, then it's easy to connect each other with boredom. But when you have fun and enjoy being around each other it's easier for something to lead to sex, or at least something sexual.

- Encourage him to spend more time with his own hobbies (and I don't mean porn ;P). If he likes console games, encourage him to play by himself. I know how hard it is to do something on your own when you live in such a small place, but try. I started by spending more time in the kitchen, just so we wouldn't be in the same room all the time. If you have a laptop, move it there with you. Read books (books give the sense of "I want to be left alone, thanks" to others). Find TV shows that he's not interested in, rent them and watch by yourself. Try to find similar things he can do too.

[stressed]

Also, see if you can redecorate a little. Move desks/bookcases/the computer. Make it more like "your own". It's important for him to realize that you live there too now and it's not just "his place" anymore. It will also have an effect on his habits.

[Ashuray]

Also, see if you can redecorate a little. Move desks/bookcases/the computer. Make it more like "your own". It's important for him to realize that you live there too now and it's not just "his place" anymore. It will also have an effect on his habits.

thanks for all the advice i appreciate it we did redecorate and bought a new wardrobe and stuff but the thing is when i got o the kitchen to do stuff he comes in to see what im doing and tries to help and if i grab a book to read he asks me if something is wrong lol.. hes like a dog following me everywhere <.> ysterday we went to visit his cousin so they could do some stuff on his new car and he insisted i came along even tho they just put me infront of the tv and didnt pay any attention to me untill he felt like going back home.. made me wonder why i had to come at all he removed the photo because i confronted him with it but not the porn cause he doesnt know i know about it but it doesnt really bother me i also tend to watch it because i require it more then 2 times a week lol the picture just bothered me because i thought it was his ex and he still had feelings for her or some random girl that stripped infront of a camera to send him the pics.. but apparently it was just a friend that send it but i still dont get why he didnt just delete it but i try not to think about it

[shyone99]

People seem to jump to "its the guys" fault too quickly. Maybe he has a medical issue? Ask if he is tired all the time?

[stressed]

People seem to jump to "its the guys" fault too quickly. Maybe he has a medical issue? Ask if he is tired all the time?

When one wants sex and the other doesn't seem interested in it, who would you blame? The one for wanting it or the other for avoiding it? Regardless the gender.

- If it's a medical issue he should be responsible enough and deal with it by going to the doctor for a checkup.

- He is 23, he's not "allowed" to be tired all the time. But even if he is then he can look into changes in his lifestyle that won't make him so tired. He doesn't seem too tired for porn anyway.