[chanzian]

My boyfriend always invite me to sex but i too scare to lose my virginity ........i heard a lot of people said that is painful to lose virginity......And he was my first boyfriend and we've been together 2 years .......and now i'm 26 .......he is a good man and he also treated me very well .......but since this few week that , he got a lot of pressure from work ...........should i lose my virginity to him,and make him feel relax or just ignore it .........anyone can help me?

[chanzian]

help me pls ...........i don know what to do now....

[jns]

Only lose your virginity when you feel the time is right and with someone you want to do it with. His pressure from work is not a good reason IMHO. Some women report pain, some no pain. How is your relationship with him and where do you think it is heading? What are your thoughts on remaining a virgin? Are there any cultural reasons to remain a virgin?

[Hooster]

My boyfriend always invite me to sex but i too scare to lose my virginity ........i heard a lot of people said that is painful to lose virginity......And he was my first boyfriend and we've been together 2 years .......and now i'm 26 .......he is a good man and he also treated me very well .......but since this few week that , he got a lot of pressure from work ...........should i lose my virginity to him,and make him feel relax or just ignore it .........anyone can help me?

Be honest. Tell him the truth. If you want to lose your virginity with him he will be thrilled to hear it. If you say that now is not a good time and explain it to him he will understand. If not he is not worth holding on to.

I hope he has some experience and knows what he is doing. If not if can be a bit of a let down for you. If you decide to lose your virginity with him make sure it happens in a nice environment where you have all the time in the world to enjoy each other and you are not feeling tired or distracted.

It is a fact that some men only think of their own pleasure during sex. I hope you bf is not that type...

There is another strategy that I can suggest. Tell him that you don't feel ready to go all the way but you would like to get to know him better in an intimate way by giving and receiving massages, taking a bath together and ideally by having oral sex. If he can give you oral pleasure he can make up for mistakes in other areas...

Your first time will be a lot less painful if he has already made you sexually excited and ready for him through good foreplay than it would be if he has intercourse without the right preparation. You know when the time is right when you feel like you want nothing more than feel him inside you.

[chanzian]

Actually, i hope i can give my virginity/having sex with my husband but since we haven't married .............and he seen very pressure ............ sometime no mood to eat .......and anyone can give me some advice.......what should i do now to make him relax and feel comfortable...?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

chanzian, you say he's your boyfriend, so he's not your fiancee and you say you wish to wait until you are married, but he is pressuing you.

I assume he is 26 as well? Not a Virgin? Do you both do other things that can help him through this, are you planning on marrying him or not sure?

CW

[chanzian]

he said that wait till our finance is stable first only get marry.....but i know he won't lies ,.....should i.....?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well, I think it all balls down to honestly, how you feel for him, if you believe he is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and, or if you want to do this, for you..

Is it that you fear, that you would have to marry him? That otherwise, you feel you would be tainted? If things didn't go that way for what ever reason...

Can I ask what he has stated to you about love for you, future, how you feel together.

CW

[LanaBear]

No one can tell you whether your not you should give up your virginity to your boyfriend. That has to be a decision only you can come up with. I personally feel that virginity is overrated and would want to know if I was sexually compatible with someone before engaging in a life long commitment with them.

You have to do what you feel is right for YOU, not for him. Whether you do it now or 5 years from now, yes, you will have some discomfort and may have discomfort for the first few times that you do have sex. Don't overthink it, personally, if you are having these reservations about it and everything, then no, you may not be mentally or emotionally ready to engage in a sexual relationship with him.

[chanzian]

^_^ .Actually.... he is my fiance...but i like to call him as my BF...i know what to do now....and thanks for u all help ^^......thank you.... I know that he is the right person that i looking for ....and i know he will spend his whole life with me and me too. I know that he sacrificed a lot to me .......he love me much more than himself......and i know he will marry me in the future ......and i think its time to let me grow up from little girl(virgin) to woman .....^_^...erm....do u all mind that i ask a few more question? ^_^..anyways thanks for u help ^^