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  • mr.mansview
    Veteran Member
    • Aug 2007
    • 1173

    he's just selfish
    a smart man learns from his mistakes..a wise man learns from the mistakes of others..

    Comment

    • Hopeless Dork
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2008
      • 4255

      ^^^^ agree with above... Selfish and INSENSITIVE. I don't understand how he could talk to you like "well go to the doctor"... "well its cos you stink" etc... does he talk you this brutally about other things as well or only this? I would not be able to deal with someone that talked to me like I had no feelings. There are more sensitive ways he could address this if its a geniune concern... but hun, honestly I don't think he actually thinks you have something wrong or smells. I think he probably feels inadequate because he's squeemish about oral and vaginas... and so is just deflecting and trying to make it seem like your problem rather than even facing the reality that its likely his own hang ups.. and not your vagina that is the true issue.

      Its understandable for you to be resentful, even if he didn't like giving oral... if he handled the situation differently, talked to you more honestly about what his real problem was rather than blaming you, and was more sensitive in the delivery of any real concerns... if he still tried to please you in other ways... you likely wouldn't be resentful about doing things for him. He's making his own bed with your resentment.
      Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

      Comment

      • pretzel
        Veteran Member
        • Oct 2009
        • 1557

        Originally posted by dr.mansview
        he's just selfish
        That's it and nothing more.

        Comment

        • rcoreyus
          Veteran Member
          • Sep 2007
          • 4369

          Some people (of both genders) just hate doing oral - I don't know why. It is wrong for them to misrepresent themselves before they get into long term relationships. Being in a relationship where sex is bad, or where something sexual is missing is really depressing. No good ideas for a solution, but you have my sympathy.

          Comment

          • Texinator
            Veteran Member
            • Sep 2009
            • 5556

            It's wrong that after seven years he thinks it's alright to be direct to the point of being disrespectful, by telling you that you smell and you need to wash more often, and yet after seven years he doesn't have the confidence or trust to be honest about why he doesn't want to pleasure you orally. That's backwards. He should be more open about his hang up and less insulting about you.

            Comment

            • Ashlee T.
              Veteran Member
              • Dec 2008
              • 6412

              It's so hard to get past the "complex's" that our "significant" others create for us sometimes. Please please don't let this affect you long term and make you insecure.

              This has nothing to do with you smelling bad or discharge. How could he have been a "player" before and not know that a little bit of white discharge is quite normal for women? But again....it's not about the discharge, the smell, etc....... he just doesn't seem to care whether or not he pleases you. And due to his immaturity and selfishness, he's jerking you around and making you feel bad about yourself.

              Some people don't like oral. That's fine if you're open and honest about it. He likes oral....for him but doesn't expect to have to give in return. A mature adult would just tell you..."I just hate doing it...I don't enjoy it at all and it's really hard for me", instead of making up all kinds of hurtful excuses. Booo on him!!!!
              "Be what you're looking for."

              Comment

              • kiki_tt
                Junior Member
                • Aug 2010
                • 9

                oh boy ... a guy here who once thought of a sexual project called " Cat 365"... not wanting to scandalize anyone but I thought I could have "gone down" on my girlfriend for a whole year none stop :}
                1. if he is hesitant... get him to do his thing just after you have had a bath.. ( I have sadly learnt that women sweat too )
                2. entice him with food... like putting icecream or yogurt on you lady spot and have him eat to his desire
                3. do something as wild as actually sitting on his face ... to test things out... tease him....playfully wrestle with him and somehow end up with your most wonderful parts ending up in his face... it works for me..
                4. try short skirts and white panties..... oh wow... that is hot
                5. ladies become breakfast and have him eat off of you.....

                Comment

                • Mes T
                  Veteran Member
                  • Oct 2009
                  • 2678

                  I think some of those ideas are quite interesting, though I'd refrain from sitting on his face or something like that while he's still in this mindset. If I hated going down on my guy and he suddenly sat on my mouth, I'd run the other way!

                  Comment

                  • Texinator
                    Veteran Member
                    • Sep 2009
                    • 5556

                    Originally posted by Mes_T
                    I think some of those ideas are quite interesting, though I'd refrain from sitting on his face or something like that while he's still in this mindset. If I hated going down on my guy and he suddenly sat on my mouth, I'd run the other way!
                    But that's because a vagina in your face is way better than a penis in your face.

                    Comment

                    • jns
                      Assistant Admin
                      • Mar 2010
                      • 8398

                      Originally posted by Tex
                      But that's because a vagina in your face is way better than a penis in your face.
                      I have to agree with Tex.
                      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                      ...
                      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                      Comment

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