[jns]

I spent so long living on auto-pilot not looking deeper at why I was doing what I was doing. I was an increddibly promiscuous teenager, always seeking validation through sex... and now I am an adult in a healthy monogomous relationship but I think I STILL seek validation through sex, albeit just from one person now. When he doesn't want to have sex on any given day, it makes me feel bad inside and I know it shouldn't.... I'm realizing I have a lot of my self-worth wrapped up in being wanted sexually that I know isn't healthy for me or my relationship.

Have you explained to your SO about your need to have sex. Now I understand that wanting to have sex isn't something to be turned on like turning on a light, but does he realize how it affects you? Could he just take one for the team at times? I like giving my wife a massage, but it hurts my wrists many times. Sometimes she requests one after a hard day and I cannot deny it, though I try to limit it so as to not have my wrists ache.