[JRod]

So I'm back with another crazy topic :-)...This is not a "problem" but rather I wonder how common it is. My girl and I are in our mid and late 30's and have been together 2 1/2 years. We've lived together the past year. Still a new relationship but not Brand New. Here is the thing. She still performs oral on me 4-5, sometimes 6 days a week. Actual intercourse maybe 2-3, some weeks 4. Well, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I feel like bragging/asking my buddies if they get 15,20 Bjs a month but of course I don't actually ask em. I rarely have to do anything in return except be a sweet guy and treat her right. So I was just wondering if any of you ladies do this, this often with your man as well or if I am truely just a lucky SOB.

[sourpuss]

I would be more likely to do the same if I got something in return. Being sweet and being treated right may well be enough for me. You're lucky. Sounds like she's lucky too. But why do you not return the favor?

[JRod]

Oh, believe me I do, I would, I love to return the favor and go down on her. But it's funny, when she's done with me and we're going to sleep, she'd rather I just hold her and rub and scratch her back and head til she falls asleep. I'd say I do her 2-4 times a month. She seems to enjoy it.... A LOT, but she doesn't really want that too often. Huh, strange I guess but to each her own I suppose.

[ItsASecret]

I may not see my boyfriend everyday of the week because of work but when I do I will give him oral whenever he wants it. If I see him 2 nights a week and he wants oral both days then I will do that, if I see him 6 days of the week and he wants it same deal. I am not a woman who really needs/loves oral myself so there is no need for him to reciprocate unless he really wants to. Instead I prefer the cuddles and touching.

[JRod]

That's great "ItsASecret", you describe yourself as I described my gf to sourpuss before I even read yours. She's like you. That's awesome!

[WildChild]

You are indeed Lucky.

I seriously advise you to make a real effort to do more that just be a "sweet guy and treat her right' and start making a real study of how to pleasure her. At some point she is going to start feeling like there ought to be more in it sexually for her than 3 or 4 times devoted just to your pleasure to everytime you both get pleasure. How often is just about her pleasure?

How about all about her times and all about you times? Take turns with one of you being the giver and the other the receiver. I've connecting a bit with a community where there are men engaged in the study of women's pleasure, who actually volunteer to pleasure women with no expectation of anything sexual for themselves. They seem to have tapped into the great secret, that a conscious, glowing, sexually satisfied woman who gets plenty of loving attention is going to spread her joy in many ways and light the lives of the men and women around her. I would venture a guess that those men who devote themselves to pleasureing the women around them get far more and more satisfying, sex than most men on the planet.

[sourpuss]

I think I'm with the other ladies on that one as well. I love giving it, but recieving....meh. It's nice, I just know I can't get off that way and I get bored. I'd much rather snuggle up and get a back rub or something. haha

[Winged_Muse]

I agree with Sourpuss.
I love giving it. Recieving it is nice every now and then though definately. With my man I give him oral maybe 3-4 times a week. If i'm in one of my moods its 1-2 times a day for about a week but other than that I do do it pretty often. Good thing with my man is that he will rub my back when I go down on him so we both get a little something. Sex wise we do it pretty often as well unless other things get in the way like my period or whatever is going on with me.

[jns]

I've connecting a bit with a community where there are men engaged in the study of women's pleasure, who actually volunteer to pleasure women with no expectation of anything sexual for themselves. They seem to have tapped into the great secret, that a conscious, glowing, sexually satisfied woman who gets plenty of loving attention is going to spread her joy in many ways and light the lives of the men and women around her. I would venture a guess that those men who devote themselves to pleasureing the women around them get far more and more satisfying, sex than most men on the planet.

This is intriguing. How would I find more information about this?

[Allie602]

I'd be careful about allowing your gf to give you so much and not insisting on making sure you reciprocate no matter what she says. Work with her on oral sex, make sure you learn what technique will work with her. Be careful to find out what is it about oral sex she does not like and insist upon working to overcome her reluctance. If you had a girl who did like to give you bj, I'll bet you would do every thing you could to persuade her to do them. You must work as try equally as hard to persuade her to let you please her orally. Work on keeping the relationship balanced. Some men would find it difficult to have a relationship like this, they are sensitive to the imbalance and are more into giving.

Read up on technique and work on her unique anatomy. I am not saying this to be mean but just that I have seen this situation many times man gets plenty, takes it and makes no effort to even the scales and then it stops sometimes suddenly. I know guys who are on a constant search for a gf who is crazy about giving bj's with no expectations. Women like that are very hard to find because they are in such demand.

Many woman say they don't mind giving more than they get in the glow of a new relationship but in time lose interest in giving bj's. I think it may be because when the reality of the day to day relationship sets in the stars are removed from the eyes and the guy becomes more human and not as deserving of devotion and idolization that makes a woman give too much. I was like that once but I learned that men don't value things that come too easily to them, it's just their nature. When I was too willing to give with no expectation of reciprocation the relationship eventually become all about the guy and I dropped the guy not realizing the part I played.

All of the men with whom I did this began to take me for granted, get lazy and came to expect too much of me, and stopped showing appreciation, got demanding and payed less attention to my needs I think in the belief that I had none. I think it is human nature, when a thing is given and it cost the reciever very little effort, they tend to devalue it in time. It was my mistake on the path to learning about relationships. As I matured, I never do that, no matter how starry eyed I get, what I have to give is too precious to be treated like a notch on some mans belt.

You may think that you are a lucky man but you may actually be unlucky, you are being conditioned to expect women to please you and not to insist upon learning how to please her. You are getting the overwhelming majority of orgasms what does she get? A back rub, think about it, do you think that it will continue this way and for how long before you have to pay the piper? All relationships are an exchange of satisfactions, if there is an imbalance the party doing all the giving will eventually feel used and will stop giving unless they have very low self esteem and do not value themselves.

One other thing - I hope you were joking about telling your friends, what would be your motive be to do such an immature and disrespectful thing to do to this woman who is giving you so much? She is actually not a notch in your belt of maleness but a living human and very kind and giving girl. She at lest deserves some privacy and appreciation since your are in a relationship with her, aren't you? I hope it's not a contest to see how much pleasure you can extract from women to prove the power of your masculinity, that is not fair for any living breathing human especially not this girl.