[Anon_1990]

If your in a relationship where you've never had sex, or any sexual connection because the other side doesnt want to yet?

I don't see it being too much of a problem, your just satisfying yourself privatley.

[sourpuss]

If that's the relationship situation, why stay?

[Anon_1990]

Because we love each other, just hasnt happened yet. 4 months, shes a V, I'm not.

[LanaBear]

I don't see why not... As long as it doesn't distract from your relationship with her and maybe you reevaluate it if/when you do become intimate.

[Anon_1990]

A sex drive is a bit like a machine, if you dont run it, and keep it well oiled, it will pack up all together, then slowly rust away, I can actually feel it seizing up... I hope it does arise soon, shes just not ready yet

[WildChild]

Pleasure yourself but don't get carried away. When the times comes you don't want to be so accustomed to your hand that you can't really respond with her.

[masterchief]

It wont seize up. Some help is ok if you haven't reached a stage where you are intimate yet.

The downside is that too much, or too heavy will lead to disappointment to when you start getting more intimate. It may scare her off. As long as you're prepared to go at her rate it will be fine.

Your hand will never replace a nice female partner, no matter what women on here think.

[Anon_1990]

I must say my libido is the lowest it has ever been

[WildChild]

Your hand will never replace a nice female partner, no matter what women on here think.

Darling it isn't a matter of what we think. It's what we have experienced.

Men don't readily admit such things to other men but there are quite a number of them who, for whatever reasons, chose their own hand over the touch of a woman. Or they welcome her hands, mouth and body but only for their own pleasure. They will not lovingly touch her body, engage in foreplay, ask or consider what would pleasure her. The pain in loving a man who acts this way is immeasurable, it damages them both deeply.

I agree that a connected and shared experience is much, much better.

You really have no idea how many women deal with this lack daily, a friend shared with me just recently that in the past 15 yrs of her marriage sex has been limited to once a year on their anniversary, she gave up begging years ago. I'm over 50 and have met dozens of women who are dealing/living with men who prefer self pleasure over a shared experience. I've dealt with it and it took me from being a responsive, multi orgasmic woman to being almost nonresponsive sexually, I have a very tender and caring man in my life now but I'm having a very hard time recovering sexually. For a women, loving a man who rejects her in this manner is intensely painful and damaging, as I'm sure it is for men who are rejected as well. Knowing that the one you love prefers pleasure alone or with images on a screen is tough on your self esteem and ability to stay connected.

I've had it proven to me by experience that excessive and/or rough masterbation can leave a man unable to cum with a woman. It can also leave him chaffed and too sore for vaginal sex. When he agreed to keep his hands off himself for 2 weeks, the problems resolved, only to return when he resumed his old pattern of behavior. Read here and you will find story after story from women who want sex and connection with the man in their lives but are being rejected in favor of masterbation/porn. It's all about balance and there are a lot of out-of-balance people in the world.

[foxdana]

There is nothingwrong with watching porn! Just remember she is a real women, when the time comes. She won't be like one of those girls in the movies!!