[Butterflylily]

Ive been having these weird thoughts, basicly there about my boyfriend doing stuff to me, going wild etc.

But ive read this is normal?

Is that weird that women fantasize about being raped by some stranger? I mean like even if that stranger is un-attractive and stinky lol, its kinda weird.

And why is it called rape fantasy? I dont fantasize about my BF actually "Raping me" just in a way of him blindfolding me etc sorry but yeah.

But all this Rape Fantasy thing, im confused, if women fantasize about this, do they actually want to get raped by a hot or not guy or something against your own will?

[Hopeless Dork]

I believe that "wanting to be raped" in a fantasy, or 'rape fantasies'... sort of nullify the word "rape"... rape is something against a persons will that they don't want at all... fantasizing about someone forcing sex on you... is desiring the sex someone is forcing on you, therefore wanting it, therefore removing the rape factor... know what i mean?

There is nothing wrong with fantasies of any sort, even fantasies of rape... but you see... its not really rape that you are fantasizing about if you are desiring it to happen. In rape a person has no control, in fantasy you have ALL the control, you are deciding what happens to you and how ... so its not really "rape" so much as, rougher sex, or rougher sex with a stranger.

I hear of women that 'want to be raped' in fantasy or roleplay... but rape is something that is against ones will... so even if a person is fantasizing or roleplyaing its against their will, they are still willing it, wanting it to happen... so the word rape doesn't really fit it in my opinion.

[Butterflylily]

OHh ok ^__^ thanks i feel more normal now, i felt really weird, i couldnt get sleep .

But anyway, now with that answer..im curious about one thing ...so lets say the rapist is a Extremely handsome man, sexy and so on...
If the women is suprised, but still feels attracted to him while in the act of the raiping, its not a rape then?

For example...If a hot stranger comes out of nowhere, and does things to you,, or if the Rapist isnt attractive at all, and you feel good and enjoy it, its not classified as rape?

[Hopeless Dork]

Not to me, not if its your fantasy... if you are fantasizing and wanting someone to force sex on you... you are willing it to happen, its not against your will so technically that really isn't rape. Rape is when someone does NOT want it to happen, its fully against their will, they don't want the act. So if you are FANTASIZING its happening to you, wanting it to happen to you... its not against your will.

If were talking about REAL LIFE and some guy forces himself on a women... thats rape. But if you are fantasizing about someone forcing himself onyou, you are in control of the fantasy, the rapist isn't really a rapist if you are orchestrating the 'rape' in your head, you have all the control and its all what you are willing on to yourself... so that isn't really rape... know what i mean?

"I want you to rape me" doesn't make sence, if you want it to happen... its not rape... thats why rape fantasy roleplay, to me, is like rough sex with a stranger roleplay because its not rape if the party is agreeing to it, wanting it... even if they are pretending to say oh no pls stop, if they decide before hand how its going to play out... its not rape, its rough sex fantasy.

But no if you meean a women in real gets attacked by a man she would otherwise finde attractive, yeah of course that still rape ... she isn't willing it to happen he's taking it... but if its all in your head and a fantasy... you are the one orchestrating what happens to you... you can't rape yourself?!

[WildChild]

From what I've read, what often comes into play with rape fantasy is a desire to be able to let go sexually without being responsible for doing so. Basically it allows doing something you are inhibited against. Women who have a lot of personal limitations can imagine that in a rape situation they can achieve satisfaction with out being "bad", since it is against their will. This is similar to some 'romance' novels where the woman is 'swept off her feet' and caught up in irresistable passion. Apparently rape or forced sex fantasy is very common.

The real truth, as anyone who has been raped can tell you, is that rape is about power and control rather than sex. There is nothing romantic or arousing about actually being raped. No matter who the rapist is or what he/they look like.

[Butterflylily]

Thanks ^__^ just curious about that, idk if i should tell my bf about this...idk but..he might react in a bad way, ill just try to get over it or something i hope. But thanks hehe

[ItsASecret]

If a hot stranger comes out of nowhere, and does things to you,, or if the Rapist isnt attractive at all, and you feel good and enjoy it, its not classified as rape?

If a random guy pops up and starts doing things and you are willingly agreeing to let those things happen it is not rape it is consensual sex. According to the law if he does it against your will, you fight back, you say no, you do not want it to happen etc...then it is rape even if the guy looks like Brad Pitt.

If you want to keep the fantasy replace the word 'rape' with 'rough' and you can have a way to do this with your bf without it involving the harsh rape word. He can get rougher with you, to your own set limits of course, he can blindfold you, pin your arms above your head, grab your hair a bit, spank you, dirty talk...anything you agree upon but that is not rape.

[rcoreyus]

Rape fantasies are very common, and he might be very happy to play along. If you play any games like this though, you MUST have a "safe word". That is something you can say that will instantly end the game if you aren't enjoying it (and he absolutely must respect the safe word). The word can be anything you wouldn't normally say. One option is "red" means stop, end the games. You can use "yellow" to let him know that something slightly wrong, but the game can continue eg. "Yellow! the rope is cutting into my left wrist".

The Top (play rapist) also can use the safe word if he is disturbed by the action (maybe you are acting too well).

If you are doing any play where you won't be able to say a word (pretend forced oral for instance), you need some other sign you can give.

Before you play these games, be sure you and your partner have agreed on what sort of thing will happen. Will he hit you (not to hard I hope)? say degrading things? Threaten you? Force things other than normal sex (oral, anal?)

Forced sex / rape games can be fun, but please be sure you both know what you are getting into before you start.

[lonestar]

I am not sure about rape fantasies, but I do have fantasies involving my BF being rough with me (which he'll never do)- ie, slamming me up against the wall, grabbing me by the hair etc... not beating me up, just rough hot sex. Blindfold is a good one...
Sidenote- any suggestions to convince my BF it's ok to be a little rough with me? I'm asking for it!

[rcoreyus]

Have you tried asking him to be rough? (be sure to tell him what you want - "rough" means different things to different people).