[WildChild]

Tell you get what out of life what you put in and he is in arrears right now?

[masterchief]

How many lucky guys are out there.

I'm pretty sure if a girl wrote about how her boyfriend goes down on her all the time but she didn't like give blowjobs then the advice given would be that she shouldn't be forced to do things she didn't want to.

What you like to do to him, what you him to do do to you, and what he likes to do to you , what he likes you to do to him are 4 different things. They are paired, a good match of you like to give blowjobs and him like receiving them works. That doesn't automatically mean anything the other pair work.

If you like giving blowjobs then that shouldn't mean you should stop because you don't get your way, that's petty and selfish. In other words don't do things for anything in return, do them because you enjoy it. If you cant find a happy balance of what you're both prepared to do it then it up to you to decide if you'll be happy with that person.

Another possibility is that there is some problem and saving embarrassment of you or him. He might have a problem saying something hurtful because he fears your reaction.

[themeximini]

How many lucky guys are out there.

I'm pretty sure if a girl wrote about how her boyfriend goes down on her all the time but she didn't like give blowjobs then the advice given would be that she shouldn't be forced to do things she didn't want to.

What you like to do to him, what you him to do do to you, and what he likes to do to you , what he likes you to do to him are 4 different things. They are paired, a good match of you like to give blowjobs and him like receiving them works. That doesn't automatically mean anything the other pair work.

If you like giving blowjobs then that shouldn't mean you should stop because you don't get your way, that's petty and selfish. In other words don't do things for anything in return, do them because you enjoy it. If you cant find a happy balance of what you're both prepared to do it then it up to you to decide if you'll be happy with that person.

Another possibility is that there is some problem and saving embarrassment of you or him. He might have a problem saying something hurtful because he fears your reaction.

Actually, if a girl wrote about her boyfriend going down on her all the time despite the fact that she doesn't like to give blowjobs (and he wanted her to do so), I would tell her she is being selfish too. I don't think anyone should do something in a relationship that they truly don't want to do, but there are times when it's important to do something your partner wants because it's good for your relationship and you love them.

There are nights when I don't feel like giving a blowjob but I do it because I know it pleases my husband and I want to make him feel good. There are days I don't feel like making dinner but I do it because I love him and he needs my help. That's not to say I don't enjoy doing either, but there are days I just don't feel like it. While I do feel entitled to refuse, sometimes I do it because I feel like his needs are greater than mine. That's what being a good partner is about.

From what the OP has written it sounds to me like she does enjoy giving her boyfriend BJs but is resentful of the amount given that he doesn't like to reciprocate. I think she should cut back on the amount if he is unwilling to do so, because she is growing resentful of him. Personally I think unless the boyfriend is wiling to change, there is little chance the relationship will succeed over time. IMO being selfish in bed is indicative of a selfish person overall.

[shweedart]

If wanting my bf to return the favour once in a while to please me as opposed to me sucking him off all the time and getting what he wants, no objections. Call me selfish.

[WildChild]

Then I'm selfish too.

I gave over two years worth, at least a couple a week, often more (we didn't see each other much more than that unless working together) I enjoyed pleasuring him and was always willing. I got...intercourse a couple times a month, with no kissing, no foreplay of any kind. I would be delighted to have sex a couple times a day. As for oral? Not after the first few months. He told me there was no problem with my taste, hygiene or anything else. He just didn't feel like doing it. Same thing with kissing, said I was a really good kisser and just didn't want to anymore. He was still happy to cuddle sometimes but it just isn't the same thing.

Some people, male or female, just aren't very caring lovers.

It can have a very negative effect. I now find that I just don't feel very connected with the man I'm currently seeing. Part of it is that I just don't trust the whole thing. More than once I've had a man start off caring and attentive and then when my affections seem secure, back off and become very careless of my feelings or needs. I really don't trust a man to continue to be caring and loving at this time. For the future any man that thinks he wants me in his life is going to have to be willing to take the time to prove that he really means it and not just for 4 to 6 months. Like T-man said in another thread, I'm going to need time with someone before I can love them or trust that they love me. There has been too much damage done, my days of happily loving easily are done. There are a lot of people on here that could say the same.

[shweedart]

I did it! I spoke to him about it he said sorry and he didn't realise how much it affected me...Certainly paid off! Thankyou everyone

[kristalyn_04]

I did it! I spoke to him about it he said sorry and he didn't realise how much it affected me...Certainly paid off! Thankyou everyone

YAY!!! Hopefully it stays that way.

[WFO]

Your Bf has no idea how lucky he is. My wife won't let me near her special place like that. Just the standard position is all she allows. I can't get her to even try to give me any eye candy. It's always in the dark. Any ideas you can share I'd love to hear them.

[penguy]

Count me as a guy on the other side of the ledger. I go down on my wife just about every single time we have sex (it's the only way she can cum that doesn't involve batteries...), and I can count on one hand the number of times she's reciprocated in the last 20 years, never once finishing.

Is she selfish? I honestly don't feel she is, as she's an extremely warm and giving woman in every other respect. It's just something she can't learn to enjoy. And I flat out refuse to use my going down on her as a bargaining chip because I really, really enjoy doing it and I'm not one to cut off my nose to spite my face.

I have a great marriage and the lack of BJs is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things.

[WildChild]

Count me as a guy on the other side of the ledger. I go down on my wife just about every single time we have sex (it's the only way she can cum that doesn't involve batteries...), and I can count on one hand the number of times she's reciprocated in the last 20 years, never once finishing.

Is she selfish? I honestly don't feel she is, as she's an extremely warm and giving woman in every other respect. It's just something she can't learn to enjoy. And I flat out refuse to use my going down on her as a bargaining chip because I really, really enjoy doing it and I'm not one to cut off my nose to spite my face.

I have a great marriage and the lack of BJs is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things.

It's great that you feel that way. This emphasizes that what counts isn't a *** for tat, so to speak but that overall the relationship is balanced sexually. I would be happy giving BJs frequently and never getting oral, if I got other kinds of foreplay, kissing, touching and just general affection - in my case I got none of it. It was too out of balance. I think many of our posters have been in similarly out of balance situations.