[jman35]

Definitely not negative or meant to be degrading. I truly will get pleasure from seeing my wife pleasured by another man. I hope she would get the same pleasure and be excited from being wanted, complimented, and desired by another man. My wife is pretty good about handling her emotions, but this would be the first time so of course its a concern. I respect that some of the posters have different thoughts about marriage vows, etc., but this would be meant to bring us closer together in support of our vows.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

but this would be meant to bring us closer together in support of our vows.

But it can also go the other way, she may enjoy it, but inside she may feel tainted, after.. She may question why her husband allowed, wanted to see her with another man, she may lose respect....

Why do you think it would bring you closer ?

Because you shared? Let another man near her, showed no jealousy, is that supposed to make her feel that you love her more?

CW

[Hopeless Dork]

she may lose respect....

This I would believe is the biggest risk. Most women love to feel protected and her husband wanting another man to have sex with her is more like throwing her to the wolves than protecting her. She may end up having sex with a man while you watch that whispers in her ear "if you were mine, I'd never share you"... and that would be powerful to a woman that is feeling insecure about your love for her with your request.

[steanna7]

If she stated she may become emotionally attached I wouldnt do it, I know couples whom have done this and it kind of opened a door they couldnt close after. Either one or the other would start cheating behind the others back it was like once they started they couldnt stop, they may stop for a few months then cheat again, so if you both have had a good marriage so far i wouldnt risk it

[LilahX]

It appears your wife cannot differentiate between love and lust which isn't a good thing in swinging but If you were to indulge yourselves just make sure it's with a stranger and that you don't see them, or contact them again. We personally prefer to have liaisons with people who become friends, but others prefer the excitement of virtual strangers.

[tesoro]

Hi jman35, I can understand your hesitation and I think you are wise to come on this forum for help. You sound like you love your wife very much. I can only share my own experience with this. I was married to the love of my life for many years. He had the same fantasy that you are describing. I came to resent him because I believed he didn't really love me the way I wanted him to. I started to feel disrespected by him and disappointed in him. After many years of him talking about this fantasy, I lost my feelings for him and came to resent him. We are now separated and I am glad he's moved out. Just be very careful not to take your wife's love for you for granted. She may consider doing this for you but if it's not what she really wants, she may fall out of love with you. It's a risk that you will choose to take if you go ahead. Good luck.

[Hmmm Really?]

Bad idea. Not so much from insecurities, but trying to force your wife into such a situation will make her look at you differently. Society has made such things "tolerable", but wedding vows are deeper than trends created in the last porn movie released to the net.

It would be a different discussion if she was trying to convince you, but be glad you have a wife who wants an exclusive sexual relationship with you. i'm pretty sure she was giving a "PC" answer with the "emotionally attached" (unless you've discussed a specific side-mate), but that was her way of telling you she's not some hoe and respects what you have together. I can't see how you don't respect that as well.

[Jimbeau]

Although it is amusing and somewhat telling about the persistence of gender inequality when you switch this around and consider how "insecure" and potentially "alienated" a husband would feel if his wife wished to share him with another woman.

[capella050505]

I wish my boyfriend would fantasize and want to see me with other men... thats hot.. you have a loving husband AND fun and excitement

[Guest]

im sorry but i think it's deplorable to wanna watch someone you love have sex with another person..