[chaya]

My fiance probably knows how I feel about oral sex. I told him everything I could remember about the time I was raped. When the rapist tried to make me do oral on him, I refused. That was when he hit me the first time. I thought he would kill me but I still refused. I ended up in the hospital with sever internal injuries from being punched and kicked in the stomach.

I don't put down anyone that does these things but I can never do them. I don't want to talk about it with my fiance because I'm afraid of losing him. I've been agonizing over this for the last 2 days. I wish I had never responded to this thread.

I can't believe that I'm the only one that feels this way.

[Hopeless Dork]

Honey you are not the only one that feels that way... there are lots of women AND men... that do not want and don't perform oral on their partners and still have happy loving sexual relationships. And there are couples that do oral all the time and still have disatisfied partners. Its not about the act, its about love and giving pleasure and there are soooo many ways to skin that cat that have nothing to do with doing something you don't like.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

chisaki, off course your not the only one who doesn't like it, mostly for other reasons, old fashioned up bringing...

It's good that you explained all that happened to your fiance, he is with you for a reason, remember that, and it's not sex, that's a component only of the relationship..

As you say, you don't condemn anyone who does like it, we don't condemn anyone who doesn't

Keep smiling, it's all good..

CW

[Awoman2]

Chisaki, did the rapist have penetrative sex with you? If he did, do you still have penetrative sex with your boyfriend? I would expect your answer to be no, based on your comment about being forced to do oral on the rapist.

I'm not trying to trivialize your trauma. I'm just not seeing the logic in your explanation. You need therapy to help you deal with the trauma from your ordeal. If you don't heal from that then it wouldn't be a surprise if you have issues with sex, but oral sex only?

[Hopeless Dork]

Chisaki, did the rapist have penetrative sex with you? If he did, do you still have penetrative sex with your boyfriend? I would expect your answer to be no, based on your comment about being forced to do oral on the rapist.

I'm not trying to trivialize your trauma. I'm just not seeing the logic in your explanation. You need therapy to help you deal with the trauma from your ordeal. If you don't heal from that then it wouldn't be a surprise if you have issues with sex, but oral sex only?

I don't mean to trivialize your trivialization but... Everyone handles trauma in their own way and if you read her post you would have seen that it was when she refused oral that he got violent... would make me a bit resentful of oral as well.

[tina17621]

I do it without a problem. Whats the big deal? I love the taste of both our cum together. Is that disgusting? I think it's sexy. If a person has hangups about it, not my problem.

[JRod]

Thanks for all the responses!

[Allie602]

Chisaki, did the rapist have penetrative sex with you? If he did, do you still have penetrative sex with your boyfriend? I would expect your answer to be no, based on your comment about being forced to do oral on the rapist.

I'm not trying to trivialize your trauma. I'm just not seeing the logic in your explanation. You need therapy to help you deal with the trauma from your ordeal. If you don't heal from that then it wouldn't be a surprise if you have issues with sex, but oral sex only?

I am at a loss to understand why you would bother to write such an insensitive post. What do you think you have added to this young woman's effort to recover and her obvious pain? Her choice to have a warm mutually satisfying sexual relationship with the man she loves and who loves her, is a victory. All signs point to a full and happy life for this resilient survivor. She still has a way to go but her trajectory is up and I am inspired by her resolve.

To suggest that she has no right to chose how she wants to share her love through some twisted logic is in it self twisted. Was your point that a blow job is such an important sex act that she should view it as essential to her recovery? Now that sounds more like the thinking of a 15 yr old boy and not a man.