[seejai]

Hi all, new to the forum

Quick question - my BF of 11 months only seems to be able to orgasm in one position, which is kinda frustrating but he says his penis dosnt get stimulated if he does it any other way. He is constantly horny and if I am not in the mood sometimes or try to make him cum by handjob or oral he struggles, he seems to find it easier to do it on his own while I watch or play with myself?

Does anyone else have experience of this? I've suggested we see a sex councilor to see if we can learn how to make each other cum together!

Thanks x

[seejai]

hi jonnie

he can only come in missionary style with his hands on my butt
we try lots of positions but this is the only one where he can cum
think he used to masturbate a lot and still does inbetween us having sex - says he tries not to but gets so horny and has to??
recently, he went a week without masturbating anf we had sex and he came a lot quicker, evidently his penis was more sensitive and therefore he got off quicker inside me??

does it all come down to him simply not masturbating, and trying to transfer the feelings from his "hand" to "inside me"?

[seejai]

Based on what you've shared, it seems to me that he is having difficulty reproducing the feeling or friction that he feels while masturbating. Generally, this is due to the "grip" that men use while masturbating...it's very tight with the fingers wrapped around the shaft and some pretty good pressure being applied.

Exercising your PC muscles using Kegel exercises will help you get a "better" grip on his shaft, if that's what you desire.

Seems to me that he could trying going without any masturbation at all for a period of time and just share physical intimacy with you. See how that goes.
I bet you'll both be happier with the results.

Open communication is most important, followed by lots of practice!!

A position I've heard/read a lot about is the female on her back with her legs up with ankles/feet resting on his shoulders with missionary style entry.

Another good position, when lack of friction is a concern, is doggie.

To answer your question, I would say, for the two of you, Yes, it might come down to him simply not masturbating and trying to transfer the feelings from his hand to inside of you!

thanks for replying, quite reassuring! we spoke together last night and we've agreed he won't masturbate all week and hopefully we can have some "mutual" fun at the weekend instead of him having to finish himself off by hand or get in his "position"!

[Texasred]

does it all come down to him simply not masturbating, and trying to transfer the feelings from his "hand" to "inside me"?

Probably so, yes.
It very likely is just that simple.

[Travis_C]

I dont know how he is but when i was younger i had the same problem, but i would then spend more time teasing my partner with my head then i was able to climax in most position.

[Bellalla]

Have you considered trying multiple positions and then finishing off with his tried-and-true position?

Sex is about so much more than just him achieving an orgasm, so why not take advantage of the fact that he doesn't cum easily to invest more time in exploring how he can put his erection to good use making you feel good from many different angles?

[Travis_C]

Have you considered trying multiple positions and then finishing off with his tried-and-true position?

Sex is about so much more than just him achieving an orgasm, so why not take advantage of the fact that he doesn't cum easily to invest more time in exploring how he can put his erection to good use making you feel good from many different angles?

you may even find one he likes a lot when exploring

[seejai]

progress!

Hey all

Progress! Lol. Actually I forgot to say in the original post that my BF always struggle to cum if I suck/toss him off, he's always seemed to like doing it his own way which is kinda frustrating!!

ANYWAY, since we spoke together about a week ago, and decided he needs to stop playing with himself if we're to make any progress, things have got better! We were in bed Sunday morning together, kissing and stuff and I started playing with his and he said he'd been looking forward to me milking him from start to finish! So I thought I'd try again as it'd been a week since he wanked and he was clearly busrting to cum! So I started jerking him and he seemed to be enjoying it way more than usual and sure enough after a couple of minutes all his muscles tensed up and he shot absolutely LOADS of cum everywhere, more than I've ever seen!! He was so happy, and so was I as I'd done it all myself and he hadnt told me I was doing it wrong. Anyway we've been so much closer all weekend because of it and I even let him me with my vibrator and he made me cum so well.

[tinycit]

Likely what made it possible for him to cum so well and so much was your positive attitude. Sex is very much mental. Your eagerness and enthusiasm for him to cum and your excitement and joy when he gave you a big load of cum are music for his brain. It's exactly what he needs to see and hear from you. Next time before you have sex together, talk together about what his sexual needs are. Let him know that you are eager and enthusiastic to do anything and everything he needs. Vice versa. He should do the same for you. You don't have to do those two things at the same time either. The simultaneous orgasm is mostly a myth. It's difficult to concentrate on receiving when you're concentrating on giving. Satisfying each other separately can work much better than trying to satisfy each other at the same time. Most importantly, have a good time and have fun. Sex isn't always about the big-O or about how big a load of cum he can give you.

[stressed]

One more example on how masturbation can damage sex. I hope more men read this and learn from it.