[Cojack]

how do i suggest she changes it or stops? she has a pill reveiw with the nurse every six months, and my girlfriend i dont think really cares about having sex so shes not going to make an effort to change her pill etc to have sex more, i think she is just find carrying on as she is, she gets what she needs, which is sex once every 2 weeks and she gets it from her doing nothing because i start it all.... in her eyes the sex life is fine.... but not for me

[x.st.angel.x]

Do you think she might make the effort if you didnt make a move at all? Even though that would require you going without for some time but do you think at some point she would question or make a move?

[lizzardb63]

I agree x.st.angel.x Birth control also made my sex drive disappear.

[Cojack]

Well this is what i have been trying..... right dont initate sex until she does, then the days go on ang on, 11 days, 12 days, ive got to 16 days before and then gave in, i spose it was more mutual than normal so yes i think within time, she would but after like 2 weeks plus, ill try it

[lizzardb63]

I honestly think it is a lack of communication. You HAVE to talk it out.

[Cojack]

right, spose ill try again with her to see if i can get her to talk.... maybe if she let me know how she feels then i would understand and be able to help her out. Shes so closed, when shes down or ****ed she just wants to be alone ansd wont let me help her.

[lizzardb63]

She shouldnt be so closed with you. You're a boyfriend and lover. You should be the person she most open with. Maybe she has insecurities of being close or intimate with someone...

[x.st.angel.x]

From what you are saying i do agree you need to talk to her but you need to be smart with how you bring up the conversation. Dont bring it up in a manor that suggests theres a problem and you're trying to fix it.....i think that would make her feel very uncomfortable. I suggest when you bring it up make sure you focus on her and her feelings about it. What im trying to say is make it like a discussion that doesnt make her feel its her fault. Does that make sense or am i rambling?

[Cojack]

exactly and i say this, im the person who loves you with all their heart, id do anything for her, i love her so much and she wont tell me stuff or how she is feeling. i tell her anything personal or not.

i know in the past her b/fs have been idiots and nasty so maybe thats it.... shes worried ill hurt her?

[lizzardb63]

After a year though? Something just doesn't add up to me. I agree that you should take an soft approach like angel said.