[waya]

No, I don't. In fact, the whole idea of a man finishing inside is rather arousing. Unfortunately it's getting it on all the way that just doesn't do it for me.

But masturbation doesn't either?

[FrostDominion]

Honestly?
I woke up from a dead sleep so hot and bothered that I reached down and rubbed myself once and there it was. The feeling was so intense and I felt so mellow afterwords. However, I have tried to masturbate since then and it does nothing for me.

[FrostDominion]

waya:

Nope.

[WildChild]

So you orgasmed when you were very relaxed and and not fully aware? You didn't have your defenses up. For some reason you are blocking it.

[FrostDominion]

So you orgasmed when you were very relaxed and and not fully aware? You didn't have your defenses up. For some reason you are blocking it.

Then how can I lower said defenses and NOT block it? I mean, this is easier diagnosed than fixed lulz.

[stressed]

A crazy suggestion: You can try to think about sex and masturbate after a couple of drinks at home. (might sound unethical, but it will be just you and yourself).

[oxy-moron]

Hi
Look up EFT tapping. You tap nerve points while giving yourself positive messages.
It has a lot of success with subconscious issues.

[Guest]

Listen to the women in here, particularly WildChild, Sidneyalive and CHANDLERS WISH. All of them have great wisdom, thoughts, ideas, life experience that may help you.

The beauty of a forum like this is that there is probably someone else with like or similar concerns, who may have resolved them and may be able to help you do the same.

People with thousands of posts, WildChild, CHANDLERS WISH have probably read it all and helped many with their concerns.

Keep an open mind, try what they suggest, even if you've already tried it before and keep in touch with the wonderful and helpful people here.

So you orgasmed when you were very relaxed and and not fully aware? You didn't have your defenses up. For some reason you are blocking it.
I think WC may be onto something here.

[WildChild]

I was thinking about this last night as I was falling asleep. Could you start with some personal sensuality exploration? First start being very aware of your body, be good to it, don't just eat, have at least one meal a day that you put together to be attractive for taste, appearance, and scent. Light candles for yourself. Don't just take a shower, but be aware as you do so. How does is feel to run your soapy hands over your skin? Really feel the lather of shampoo and don't just clean your hair, give yourself a scalp massage.
Just heighten your awareness of yourself nad how things feel.
Keep clean sheets and pillowcases on your bed and make your bedroom a restful and pleasant place.
Laying down to sleep take time to caress your body, run your hands lovingly over your face, trace your own lips and eyes. Run your fingers around your ears and down your neck to your shoulders and arms, circle your breasts and tweek your own nipples. Run your hands over your belly, feel your pelvic bones, your buttocks and down your legs, give your self a little foot massage. Tell you how wonderful your body is and how good it feels. Do this slowly and tenderly, maybe close your eyes if it helps you feel relaxed.

Try resting, laying down with your left hand on your chest between your breasts, over your heart and your right hand gently cupping your mons (or your vulva). Breathe and visualise the connection between your heart and your genitals. Feel the energy between them. Let yourself relax and just feel the connection.

When you have done this a few times try then progressing to gently carressing your vulva with your left hand still covering your heart. Apply gentle pressure to your clit and the area surrounding it with your palm, you may find a firm but gentle circular motion pleasing. Don't be stressing for orgasmic response but just for what is pleasurable. One group that teaches female pleasure is the Welcomed Consensus, their definition of orgasm is any time your genitals feel better than the rest of your body. To start with take that as a definition (personally that isn't my definition but we have to crawl before we walk or run).

Get yourself comfortable with this level of arousal and then take it further with self pleasuring. I find that much of the time self pleasuring takes me much longer to get to orgasm than with a caring a partner but you need to be able to control your own pleasure to know what works for you.

[FrostDominion]

Stressed and Oxy: thank you both for the suggestions, EFT and a little bit of wine. I can do that.

Seeker: I don't mean to sound like I am knocking anyone down, I apologize. And thank you for the advice.

WildChild: That is great advice. While I have tried something similar in the past--when I had a bedroom- and when I get some privacy I will totally try that. Thank you.

And thank you everyone who's posted.