[Dude]

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years... we have an extremely close relationship... extremely, but I have no idea how he lost his virginity and to who.. and what the circumstances were... never asked as I find it compeltely irrelevent. Again I think you might be making it out to be a bigger deal than it is.

What is your opinion on the matter? Should I just try to find the right girl, or go ahead and post on CL?

[Hopeless Dork]

What is your opinion on the matter? Should I just try to find the right girl, or go ahead and post on CL?

I personally would just try to meet the right girl... I'm not big on online encounters... i've heard they work great for some people but there is nothing, in my opinion, that can match the chemistry that is had when you meet someone in person and just 'click' and take it from there. I think you should just open yourself up more to women... go to places where you'd have opportunities to talk and mingle... social events, parties, get to gethers with friends, coffee shops, book stores... and make it a point to make eye contact and smile to all women, whether you are into her or not, just to get in the habit of it.

Strike up relevent conversations, don't come across as too eager or too aloof... just be friendly and girls will relax around you enough for you to feel comfortable enough to ask them out.

[Dude]

I personally would just try to meet the right girl... I'm not big on online encounters... i've heard they work great for some people but there is nothing, in my opinion, that can match the chemistry that is had when you meet someone in person and just 'click' and take it from there. I think you should just open yourself up more to women... go to places where you'd have opportunities to talk and mingle... social events, parties, get to gethers with friends, coffee shops, book stores... and make it a point to make eye contact and smile to all women, whether you are into her or not, just to get in the habit of it.

Strike up relevent conversations, don't come across as too eager or too aloof... just be friendly and girls will relax around you enough for you to feel comfortable enough to ask them out.

How old are you, may I ask? Some say that girls can tell a virgin just by interacting with them. Is this true?

[Hopeless Dork]

How old are you, may I ask? Some say that girls can tell a virgin just by interacting with them. Is this true?

I'm in my early 30's, and no... you can't tell a virgin by interacting with them. And you can't tell how good a man is going to be in bed by interacting with them.. In my experiences the guys oozing jerk meathead confidence are generally the worst in bed... they think they know it all, are completely self-focused and fail miserably. Guys that know that all women are different... and take the time to learn the woman they are with, to figure out what SHE likes... are the best lovers...

[Ashlee T.]

It'll only be a big deal if you make it one. A good woman who cares about you isn't gonna care about that at all, and if she does it will be in your favor not your disfavor. Don't make it weird. Love yourself for who you are.

[waya]

I might be surprised at first but I would prefer a guy to tell me. Other than that, I don't think it would be a problem and I would respect that you don't just wanna sleep with anybody.

[Alexandra]

I don't think this is something you have to mention on a first date, but don't hide it! I, personally, would not be bothered if I was seeing a man who was a virgin. And if I really enjoyed his company and he was a good guy, something like virginity would not be a reason to cut contact. In fact, if I met someone I clicked with and he was a virgin, I think that may actually be an attractive quality to me. And any woman who matters isn't going to mind. I can see that this is something that worries you, but take a deep breath. It may be a "social norm" to lose your virginity quickly, but still being a virgin *is not* a bad thing.

[cathygirl]

I'm a little out of my 20's but not much. I will tell you this, if I were your first partner I would feel very special and honored about it. I would feel like I was sharing something really special with you, and my goal would be for the earth to tremble for you :-) So no, I wouldn't view it negatively. Actually, I'd be very flattered.

[Dude]

Is there any way to delete this thread?

[Texasred]

Would that really be a good idea though? I mean, when I do finally meet a girl and get serious, what will see say when I explain that my first time was with a women that responded to a personal I posted? Even though I wouldn't be paying for it, wouldn't it be similar to getting a prostitute?

Yes, it'd be very much like having sex with a prostitute, and you might find that afterwards you had a rather low opinion of yourself. I'd recommend not doing the personals ads.

You've waited this long; what's wrong with waiting a bit longer and finding a girl who really means something to you?
Stop worrying about being a "virgin," and put your time and energy into meeting interesting people.