[Guest]

Hey guys, I know I said in the other thread(Breast/Penis Size) that I was gonna let you guys in on whats been going on the past few weeks. All I can say is that I hope you guys can/will continue to support me... I'm going through a really hard time right now and I know that I've made some mistakes and some of it is my fault...

I've been messaging Sarah about this so instead of retying the entire ordeal I'm just going to copy /past the private messages I've sent to her. These are pretty much my raw feelings on everything that has happened and I'm being completely honest with everyone about everything so please try to refrain from being judgmental as much as possible, although I may deserve it in some cases. : (

(edit profanity)
Heyy Sarah

Thanks for the asking me about the relationship. Unfortunately, things have only gotten worse. : (

I've been thinking about asking the girls for help again, but I'm afraid what their reaction would be.... I feel like such a skank. : (

Basically, things haven't improved with my boyfriend at all, we've had sex like once since the last time I've been on here, and it was just completely awful......

He came in literally 45 seconds!!! I've never even heard of that before! How am I supposed to climax in 45 seconds? It was like a record low and probably the worst sex I've had in my life. : (

He basically shut down after that and we hadn't had sex in like 2 weeks and I couldn't take it anymore. We have such strong sexual chemistry before this whole without it had me going crazy. Not to mention that's just sex period. I have had good sex in like a month/month a half, no orgasms at all, not even close. : (

My boyfriend was being just really apathetic about everything from sex, to our relationship, training, and just life in general it was really straining our relationship. He was just moping around all the time and I couldn't stand all the self loathing. Anyways, I was glad when we went away with his fighter friends for the weekend. It was a team building exercise the coach had thought up and I figured it could really help to get him his confidence back and get him back in the swing of things. It was pretty much my last hope, if things didn't get better with his attitude from that point I was planing on leaving, as the relationship just didn't seem healthy.

So I was home for the weekend and was just planning to stay home and try to relax and enjoy myself. I was just getting ready to get in the bath when my doorbell rang. I answered the door and lo and behold it's the guy who beat up my boyfriend, the other fighter. So I was kind of taken aback and frightened, but he said he want to apologize to both me and my boyfriend for all the trouble he's caused. I told him that my boyfriend wasn't in but I invited him inside and made some coffee and then we talked. He said he regretted all the trash talking and disrespecting me when I went to see him to try to stop the fight, and that I was an amazing girlfriend to try and do that for my boyfriend. He also wanted to apologize for intentionally dragging out the last fight, when he knew he had already won, with the intent of just embarrassing and humiliating both myself and my boyfriend. We talked for a while and he seemed really sincere about his apology.

Before he left he went upstairs to go to the bathroom and I went to the bedroom to put away some clothes. When I was putting away my boyfriend shorts I noticed the pair with the blood stains on them were still in his draw, we hadn't washed them yet. I know it sounds silly, but honestly all the memories of the fight just came rushing back and I started to tear up, just as the guy was coming out of the bathroom. He poked in and saw me crying on the bed, and immediately tried to console me. I just felt so vulnerable I was just glad anyone was there. Then, almost out of the blue he leaned over and kissed me! I was so shocked at first and I pulled away, but he went in again this time I couldn't resist. I could just feel the passion, something I haven't felt in practically two months now!

From there lust took over before I knew it we were completely undressed. I was shocked when I saw how large he was. He was around 8 inches or so fully errect, much bigger than my boyfriend. And I know I'm going to sound a little hypocritical here... and probably even like a huge ..... I'm embarrassed at myself for even admitting it, I feel like I should be ashamed, and in some ways I am, but the sex was absolutely amazing.....

I've honestly never came harder before in my life. I know I said that size doesn't matter and that even 4 inch guys have gotten me off, but this was honestly something entirely different. I can't stress how absolutely mind blowing the sex with this guy was, it was completely unreal. It was obvious that I've never experienced a large guy who knew how to use it before.

We went through a ton of different positions and he was able to make me climax at least 5 separate times.

*Edited by Mod, we don't need a play by play*

I honestly just couldn't believe how sexually comparable we were, or at least I thought we were. It was almost like we were holding back this hidden lust for each other.

It turns out that the good time was more or less rather one sided though...... to him I was just another " skank that liked it up the butt". I couldn't believe it, I was so devastated, after I pretty much gave all I had to him physically and mentally, after everything I let him do to me, after I just let him completely dominate my body, he was just using me to get off.... I wasn't anything more than a place for him to "blow his load". : (

Apparently, according to him I'm a "lousy lay" and horrible in bed. I tried to explain to him that I've just never been with anyone so skilled like he was so I was just stunned by the pleasure, but he just said I was just you're "typical skank, only good at laying there while getting F'd and sucking D ". It hurt so much to hear him say things like that after he pretty much had his way with me, while I was enjoying it nonetheless, it's just so shameful...

This is the first time I've ever cheated on anyone in my life and despite the sex being phenomenal I'm just so ashamed of what happened. I know I should have never let him in the house, but I did and even then I could have stopped him when he tried to kiss me, but I just didn't I was weak and let him just take me over.

After what he said to me I'm started to think he's right... maybe I am a skank? : (

Of course he found out about everything as soon as he got back and was devastated. Everything was just a mess.

[jns]

The other fighter seems to be pretty good at taking advantage of you. Unfortunately, this is why you want someone to show some of his or her cards before you get involved, including casual sex. As good as he is with sex, he is misogynistic. His talk about being sorry was just to make you more open, more vulnerable. Some guys are very good at that.

It will take a lot of work to repair things with your bf, if it can be done. Are you willing to try or are you going to cut bait?

[Guest]

This is the second and last private message. As you'll be able to tell I don't think their is any way short of a miracle to be able to make things work again. Despite how much I want him back.... : (


So basically since he found out everything I tried everything possible to fix things, but nothing was working so I asked him what I could do. I told him I'd do anything.....

He thought about it for a while and then told me about a fantasy he's had for a while. He wants to see me fight another girl.... He said it would also be good because I'd get to see how hard it is to get in the ring and fight. He said it would help me appreciate his wins more and understand his losses better.

I'm not really a fighter and I can't say I was really into the idea, but I figured I owed him one after what I put it through. So I talked to him about it to learn the details. This is when he showed me exactly what he had in mind. It was quite the same type of fighting he was into, nor was it boxing.

Have you ever heard of Ultimate Surrender? If not you can check it out with a quick google search, that's how he introduced me to the idea. It's basically this type of female wrestling league, except for one tiny kink.... that's quite kinky. The winner gets to sexually dominant the loser in any way they please.

At first I felt really threatened, I thought he was going to throw me in against the savage girls they have in that organization, but that wasn't the case at all. He wanted me to fight one of the ring girls that worked some of the fights at the gym. Apparently, they have lots of these types of establishments, similar to Ultimate Surrender, but on a more low key and local level. I guess Ultimate Surrender is more of less like the "major leagues" of this "sport" if you could even call it that.

I knew her, and while I never worried about my boyfriend cheating with her. I always did hold a tiny bit of a grudge... she's one of those super skinny girls with huge fake breasts. You know, the type that always covers them self in makeup, eyeliner, the whole 9 yards? On top of that she's ALWAYS flittered with my boyfriend at any opportunity, and despite what he says I could tell he thinks she's hot.

Basically, I was actually getting excited about this fight. I was really confident I could squash this fake girl any day of the week. So my boyfriend contacted a local organization that organizes fights between girls, similar to Ultimate Surrender, and we all got together and discussed the terms of the fight.

I wanted to up the stakes a bit so in addition to the normal rules. I told her that when I beat her I wanted her gone from the ring for good. She said she would agree, but that if she wins she wanted to be able to have sex with my boyfriend while I watched.

Normally I'd be horrified even agreeing to anything like this, but I wanted to try to do whatever I could to make things up to my boyfriend after cheating on him while he was away so I figured I would just suck it up and make it work. I just felt so bad and guilty about everything I think I let my judgment get clouded. I wanted to show him he could trust me again by doing anything for him. In my mind I was going to be the one that comes out on top anyways, so the terms didn't matter. In my mind I KNEW I could crush this girl.

Basically, the winner would get to dominate the loser sexually for 15 minutes, and then the winner would have their request fulfilled. So I agreed to the terms, figuring I'd kill 2 birds with one stone. I'd get her out of the gym and away from my boyfriend and fulfill my boyfriends fantasy which would help to repair the relationship, not to mention I wouldn't mind beating her to settle any doubts she might have about who was the stronger girl .

*Edited by Mod, we don't need a play by play*

I just feel like I'm such a failure in the bedroom... maybe him having trouble was my fault? Maybe I just wasn't sexy for him enough? Maybe this girl really just is that much hotter/sexier than me that he wants her instead of me?? : (

I mean the other guy already said I'm a "lousy lay" and "terrible in bed" so maybe it's true? : (

So when everything was said and done he left me for her.... I guess this was his plan for revenge?

I'm just so devastated right now I have no idea what to do. I've lost my boyfriend, my confidence, and myself respect. Not to mention I don't think I'll ever be able to get my beating and Fing out of my head. It was honestly so traumatic, I've never experienced anything like it before. She sure taught me a lesson, I'll never mess with her again after that. Then the site of her with my boyfriend just absolutely kills me, especially knowing she Fed me up in a fight to get to him. If I would have won, maybe things would have been different, but I didn't stand a chance honestly... this girl just dominated me in every way.

I guess I deserve it, right? I'm a (edit) like she says I am?

I just feel like such a piece of trash right now.

I'm honestly afraid to post this on the forum because although the other girls have been extremely supportive I have a feeling they'll turn their backs on me once they find out I cheated. : (

I'm just so lost right now and really need some support. I've been crying everyday since this happened and I doubt I'll be able to stop soon... : (

I honestly appreciate any support, tell it to me straight. I really just need someone right now.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Chloe how this thread has turned.

Firstly, never call yourself names, (edited), secondly, when in love we do all sorts of things that we wouldn't usually do, as we do when we are confused it's called, learning and growing up.

You know you are an excellent writer, take it up as a living. And, your initial thread/posts were from a very secure, strong, woman....

These last few are from a "girl" lost.

When I opened the last page, and read some edited words, I thought, na, not the same poster and went back to page 1, yep, the same poster...

Point being... why, oh why are you trying so hard and hitting your head against a brick wall with an in-secure male whom has made you go further to try to prove things?

He lost
He kept the boxers with blood
He ditched you because love made you try to find a way for him to win


Then there is the oponent, man seriously? He is a fighter, has to win, here woman let me show you, now that I'm done, I'll humilate you, so you feel as worthless as him, I've won..See the physcology?

He was out to win....and he did, unless you take it as you saw it, wow, that was excellent it exists, good sex, looser, I got good sex, don't care what you didn't get.

As for 45 seconds, with your man, honey that happens if they are excited but I'm betting sex wasn't ever where you wanted it to be so you went for intimacy in love..

Seeing your photo your younger than the mature woman you portray, but don't settle, if this guy your boyfriend, can't see you for you, can't see what you did was in love, and can't see that he pushed you away, then so be it.

Sleeping with the enemy? Don't do it...they crave it, love it, use and abuse it...as what happened, as I said, remember the lesson, remember that a man can make you cum 5 times and remember it was real, he was just a jerk, wanting again to win....

Hopefully that lesson will allow the next idiot male, not win because you'll be wiser and not look for attachment because your emotions are spent...but it happens, don't beat yourself up.

Move on Chloe...if that's you? Your gorgeous don't settle ...stand by your man but ensure he stands by you as well, don't have to prove anything, remember that.

And revenge, doesn't work.

CW

[demotivator]

Best fake thread I've ever had to chance to read. Thank you, Chloe! Especially loved the ultimate surrender story.
(No sarcasm or anything. I really liked it.)

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Best fake thread I've ever had to chance to read. Thank you, Chloe! Especially loved the ultimate surrender story.
(No sarcasm or anything. I really liked it.)

Two different people hey demotivator?

Mods calling Troll.

Thread closed.

CW

[kristalyn_04]

Bahahaha you're most welcome CW!

[WildChild]

Enough said