[Hopeless Dork]

Well the good news is... you have an honest relationship. Too many girls 'fake it' and the guy can't possibly learn how to please their chick when she pretends like that. So you are off to a really good start that you guys can communicate.

I think the biggest issue here, is her becoming a sexual person... in order to experience pleasure with you, she has to learn what it is for herself. Not masturbating is hampering her development in this area in my opinion. Different girls orgasm from different types of sensations, and the best way for her to figure out what she likes is to practice on her own so that she can then know what she is working towards with you, how to show you what feels good etc...

If she has never touched herself, has never experienced an orgasm on her own -- you are going to be in an uphill (but not impossible) battle to try to figure out what makes her feel good, when she doesn't even know herself. Its like guessing a recipe to a dish you like , trying different temperatures and ingredients and seasonings over and over again , which is still fun and a lot can be learned -- but it would be a lot easier if someone just gave you the dang recipe already lol.

It sounds like you are doing lots of different physical things and thats great, sounds like you have a good grasp on the physical side of sex with her, but she needs to get over the mental block -- not much you can do about that, its something she'll have to do, she'll have to learn to relax and allow herself to become aroused... she'll have to learn what turns her on, if she needs to fantasize , or talk dirty, or have romance or watch something stimulating etc... read something stimulating etc...

Maybe you can try sending her naughty letters to see if that gets a fire going for her... full body massages , teasing teasing teasing til she is begging for you to touch her in the special spots etc...

I think the biggest hump to get over will be getting her good an aroused , once she is in the mood -- her body will start responding better to your physical stuff with her. When a woman isn't excited, you might as well be rubbing her elbow and trying to make her orgasm, the mental and the physical have to go hand and hand.

[Lovinher]

I talked to her today, and she says it feals better when she grinds on me with clothes on. And she dosnt like to masterbate cause it all feals "good" but not great i rlly dont know what to do ill do w/e i have to i just want her to feal it. I think i want her to worse than she dose. and she says she feals akward fingering herself she says it dosnt feal amazing and it kills me. Im sorry i kinda get emotional bout this haha a guy geting emotion who knew

[Hopeless Dork]

If she says it feels better with clothes on... I'd venture to guess that she is enjoying external stimulation more than internal... thats probably why fingering herself doesn't sound all that appealing to her. If its grinding she likes... then it sounds like she gets pleasure from direct pressure down down there, which is probably why oral isn't doing the trick for her (perhaps the sensation is too soft) instead of working on her gspot, why don't you focus your fingers/hand on rubbing on her externally instead...

Women change, so don't feel like because thats what she enjoys that it will be all she ever enjoys... if her pleasure is truly your focus, do what feels good to her... if she likes rubbing on you through her clothes and gets pleasure from that -- why not ?

[WildChild]

Guys have emotions and many of them care deeply that the woman in their life should feel pleasure. Just because there are many women who haven't orgasmed, doesn't mean that they can't. There is no physical reason why any healthy woman who has not been a victim of fgm cannot orgasm. Putting her under pressure will not help.

Back off the direct sexual stimulation and start being more sensuous. Set the stage, with nice sheets, fluffy pillows, indirect lighting or candles, the room clean with pleasing colors. If the two of you enjoy scent then have a delicately scented candle. Some flowers would be nice, even a mist maker if that would feel sensual for her. Music is important, something soothing that won't be a distraction. Drape the room with some filmy fabrics if that would help set the mood. Focus on her, forget intercourse and plan to immerse yourself in knowing her body and connecting with her.

You might start by filling the tub with warm water and inviting her to relax and soak. You can use a washcloth or scrubbie and gently wash her back and body, just enjoying the feel of her. Offer to dry her, gently patting her dry with a fluffy towel. Kisses and trailing touch on her body can go with this. Then you could give her a massage. All of this helps her feel cared for and to get both of you in tune with her body. Tell her you want to make love to every part of her, with tender touches and kisses. Not hard lipped pecks but soft lipped, nibbling, kissing, exploring, running your partially parted lips over her skin. Taste the different parts of her. Stay very present and aware of her responses, her breathing, movement, sounds she makes, how her body responds. Note to yourself what she responds to.

Placing your left hand to her heart (center of chest), focuse your energy on 'feeling' her and sending her love and connection. Gently guide her to place her left hand on her heart and to rest her right hand on her mons, ask her to close her eyes and breath in slowly and deeply through her nose and to exhale through her mouth. If she has done any yoga she will be familiar with breathing techniques - this is a very simple one. Ask her to close her eyes and send love from her heart to her sacred area (her genitals). She may be able to visualize this as a color flowing through her hands. This will help her feel calm, connected and more comfortable with touching herself in a loving way.

You may, in fact should, do variations of this regularly. This loving attention with no expectation of sex. Gradually bring more stimulation of her genitals into it. Stroking the insides of her thighs, gentle pressure on her mons, running a finger around her labia (well lubricated) but just like any other part of her body, just as part of loving her as a complete entity. Then you can add in kissing and licking, that may become oral sex or more stimulation of her clit. Encourage her to have her left hand to her heart and her right on her mons (she may have to separate her fingers) while you touch, kiss or lick. This may open the door to her being willing to apply some pressure and stimulation herself which will help both of you know what arouses her. That and you will be able to tell if she is getting wet. You want to be arousing her to the point of not just wettness but litterally dripping wet. Your goal is not to just get her a little aroused, you want to get fully into her body and responsive and that means a relaxed, deep and intense arousal. Eventually she should become increasingly responsive. You will have mix it up, keep her anticipating, wanting your touch, building response and facilitating her responsiveness. This will give you a good point to help her move into orgasm.

The question is, are you up to it?

[wxlover]

Did you try some sex toys?

[Guest]

Hi,
I'd just like to start off by thanking you for reading.
Well my main goal in life is to satisfy my girl. BUT theres one big problem.... I cant make her orgasm. I tell her its me so she dosnt get upset and start blaming and saying theres something wrong with her... I love her soooo much, im willing to do w/e it takes to make her orgasm.. Ive done everything from pounding the out of her, to soft slow and sensual sex, plus i love eating her out so i do that whenever i can, but like i said ive tried just about everything. I gently rub her clit i play with it i make sure shes hot and horny before, i tease her, i finger her i make sure to get her g-spot. but she says it all feals good but she just cant tip over that edge. i get her moaning screaming, scratching my back to were it bleeds but nothing i do can get her to tip. idk if its this pill that she takes for her acne, i hope it is cause it has like side effects of dryness and she cant get pregnant orelse the baby will be deformed :O ya i know it scares me too. so ya she always has to have chapstick on her. so im hoping its the pill and she just took her last one a week ago so i hope it gets better. but just incase it isnt the pill i need to know what im doing wrong, I want her to come first i want to take her to the land of extacy! so ya plz help : / i feel like less of a man because i cant get her to cum. sigh ty for reading.

I wish I had been in her place! But in my case the thing is opposite. My boyfriend has no drive and I am suffering a lot.

You are a wonderful and caring man. I wish you a wonderful and romantic relationship with your allproblems withher over

[Lovinher]

Thank you all very much for the info and tips. I tried again tonight but idk I tryed to make it very romantic and sensual, she gets really horny and wet when shes grinding on me but when the clothes come off and i rub her clit, she says she dosnt feal anything idk what the deal is she even said when she was rubbing herself she didnt feel anything but ya idk what else to do we r going to try to wait till the 30th of the month then try again maybe build anticipation. I just wanted to give yall some closure. and thanks Wanton and im sorry for you I wish the best.

[hafs1975]

i didnt experiance an orgasm until i was nearly 30 , i was on my own at the time to , time and maturity can be a big factor , dont be disheartened, after all look at all the practise your getting in the pursuit of your goal , and you love eachother , the odds are it will happen when you stop thinking about it and just enjoy eachother , happy practising