[Claret]

I'll go out on a limb here - are you curious about the cross-dressing aspect while still being a male. Many cross dressers are just that -- men that like to dress in women's clothing. Sometimes they dress up full time, other times they just do it occasionally. Many cross-dressers are married to women, father children and lead otherwise "normal" lives.
Don't confuse a cross-dresser with a trans-sexual. The two are separate and apart and as different from each other as men and women.
A (male)transsexual is a man that feels he is a woman but born with male organs, first of all emotionally and mentally, and often will go to very extreme surgical measures to obtain that goal. A (female) transsexual is a female that feels she is a man, emotionally and mentally, but born with a set of female organs.
You are a virgin and and probably are fantasizing about loosing your virginity and all the emotions and feelings that go with that. Before I label you straight or gay I'd have to say you may want to explore your options by dating females and males and determining what it is about the "whole" person that you like enough to give away your virginity.

[philla]

It's def not about me wanting to be one, totally not that at all. I'm very happy being a guy and im not the least bit feminine

[Claret]

I'm not suggesting that you are in anyway feminine - I'm suggesting that you need to inform yourself about what each type of sexuality is and not mix up the labels. This may then help you identify what it is that you are seeking. I personally am friends with an individual that is gay. He is in no way less masculine in his way of speaking, mannerisms or mode and style of dress than any male you could meet. His partner is slightly less masculine only in his mannerisms. They are both still male. As I mentioned earlier a cross-dresser can still be very masculine, be a husband and a father - he just preferrs to wear articles of clothing that are considered feminine e.g. may only wear underwear or pantyhose as opposed to being in a dress. A trans-sexual may be a cross-dresser, may be homosexual or may feel that he is of the opposite sex just born in the wrong body.
I think you need to explore your feeling on a deeper level and really try to determine what it is that is drawing you to a trans-sexual. What is it that offends you regarding a female's anatomy? When you can answer some of your own questions you may be on the road to self discovery.

[philla]

I think why I am attracted to them is because they look like hot women but they have a penis. I know you weren't calling me feminine but I just don't have any interest in being one myself.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

philla,

I just read some interesting comments from guys actually, that are in the same boat....Most of which are not gay but are attracted to transexuals as they are feminine with a penis..

They are calling it a "penis fetish" however, they are not gay.

I'll send you the link privately....

You can respond on your thoughts here.

CW

[stressed]

Claret is right, the idea was not to point out whether you want to be one or not, but to know the differences in the kind of men who attract you, so that you can understand what it is that attracts you to them.

I also thought of the "penis fetish" CW suggested, so the link should be helpful.

I'd just like to add (as someone from the "other side") that if you find yourself only being attracted to the male anatomy and don't find anything attractive in the female anatomy, do be careful with your choice of partner. What I mean is, it would be very hurtful for a woman to be with a man who finds the male anatomy more appealing than the female one and this can cause you more trouble later on when it'll come down to pleasuring women.

It's not about giving you a label or giving yourself one. It's about exploring, understanding and being in peace with yourself. If you compromise with anything less than what attracts you, you and your partner will suffer in your relationship.

I'd also like to add that I find it mature of you wanting to learn more about this and asking for ideas/suggestions.

[philla]

philla,

I just read some interesting comments from guys actually, that are in the same boat....Most of which are not gay but are attracted to transexuals as they are feminine with a penis..

They are calling it a "penis fetish" however, they are not gay.

I'll send you the link privately....

You can respond on your thoughts here.

CW

I guess that sounds about right, the whole penis fetish thing. And to you stressed about being considerate of a girls feelings you are right, I will be. And again I'll add that at this point I am a virgin, and when I say the female anatomy dosen't interest me it is 100% based on looks, to me it's just not the prettiest thing in the world to me. Who knows If I try sex with a woman I might love it, who knows.

[stressed]

when I say the female anatomy dosen't interest me it is 100% based on looks, to me it's just not the prettiest thing in the world to me. Who knows If I try sex with a woman I might love it, who knows.

Definitely! I just think it's great you're aware of this now when you haven't had sex yet as you're going to be a lot more prepared and open minded than guys who just ignore it/put it in the back of their minds and just go for girls "because they have to". I think you'll make the right choice in the end. But you should definitely try, experiment, read to be sure of what you want and you're on the right track.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Can I ask, ....If your a virgin have you experiemented with touching a woman, her you?

Or have you seen vaginas only on Porn or magazines.

Have you seen shaved, particually shaved, not shaved at all...What part of our vagina is it that you see as ugly?

In any event love does amazing things and age also....

But, I'm just curious if your looking at it from a porn point of view, as aposed to reality...

CW

[WildChild]

I wonder about this too CW.
As a man you are very aware of the sexual pleasure available through your penis. As a virgin you have no experience as to arousal and pleasure from interaction with a woman. There is a visual attraction to the female form but a sexual response to the penis. It is possible that if you had a sexual relationship with a woman you would redirect this arousal. The longer it goes, the more you fantasize, the more you will reinforce it in your mind and the less likely it will become for you to be able to respond with a real woman. This isn't a huge issue but it will really limit your relationship options as the pool of available partners isn't large. Many will be transexuals in the process of surgically becoming the women they feel they really are. They may be attractive to you with breasts and a penis but if they complete the process they will have vaginas and no longer be attractive to you sexually.

You are young and inexperienced. I think the suggestion that you do some exploring (keep it safe) with both genders, is a good idea. Many people have fantasies that we never fullfill and have good sex lives anyway. Regardless you need to figure out what works for you.