[collegegirl2010]

cg, wait until you meet the one and it feels right. If that is when you are married, good for you. If it is before, but it feels right, good for you. But make sure it is someone who you care about and that someone cares about you.

As far as your friends, if they were having sex with the one for each of them, I doubt they would be nonchalant about it.

Thanks, You always know how to make me feel better you really brightened my day

[collegegirl2010]

Do what feels right. No one else can make that determination for you.

Thanks I really want to let them know that they are worth more than what they set out to be, but I don't want them to get angry with me so I don't say anything.

[mommies3]

I totally agree with you waiting til marriage. i wish i would have. There is just somethin special about giving that person you love all of you. I say dont you worry about what anyone else says, you do what you feel in your heart is right. I am by no means saying it is wrong to have sex before marriage but if i would have it to do over again i would. Kudos to you!!!! You will know when it feels right.

[rcoreyus]

The problem with waiting until marriage is that you may find that you are incompatible in bed - depending on what sorts of things you think it is OK to do before marriage. Sexual incompatibility is a big source of unhappiness in marriages.

[kira]

You'll find tons of threads on here and other forums of people who got married and then realized they were not compatible in certain areas because they waited. Personally I'm all for living with someone and having sex before deciding if marriage is the correct next step so long as you are smart about it. Sex doesn't cause pregnancy and STDs, stupid sex does. I also found it was not anything amazing to have sex the first time. With neither person knowing what they are doing it's not that great and really didn't leave much of a lasting impression on me. I can't even tell you exactly how old I was when it happened.

[collegegirl2010]

I totally agree with you waiting til marriage. i wish i would have. There is just somethin special about giving that person you love all of you. I say dont you worry about what anyone else says, you do what you feel in your heart is right. I am by no means saying it is wrong to have sex before marriage but if i would have it to do over again i would. Kudos to you!!!! You will know when it feels right.

Awww, thanks

[collegegirl2010]

The problem with waiting until marriage is that you may find that you are incompatible in bed - depending on what sorts of things you think it is OK to do before marriage. Sexual incompatibility is a big source of unhappiness in marriages.

But I'd still rather wait, I don't think bad sex alone will make your marriage not work, there have to be other problems in the marriage as well. A couple that love each other can make the best out of their bad sex life if they just try. I feel that if two people care for each other, it shouldn't matter anyway. Sex is sex, to me there should be no good or bad, its just sex for crying out loud. I mean me having sex before I'm ready, just because I want to see if we are compatible in bed, is a silly thing to do. I want to make sure I'm ready and that the guy doesn't just screw me and move on to the next women.

[collegegirl2010]

You'll find tons of threads on here and other forums of people who got married and then realized they were not compatible in certain areas because they waited. Personally I'm all for living with someone and having sex before deciding if marriage is the correct next step so long as you are smart about it. Sex doesn't cause pregnancy and STDs, stupid sex does. I also found it was not anything amazing to have sex the first time. With neither person knowing what they are doing it's not that great and really didn't leave much of a lasting impression on me. I can't even tell you exactly how old I was when it happened.

Luckily I may find someone that I'm compatible with or I may not. But I can tell you I'm a smart girl, I know how to figure things out or make them work. If we aren't compatible, we can both open up to each other about what we like or want and can do a mixture of both, or try what he wants one night, then try what I want the next night. To me its about compromising, not "is he best for me in bed", to me that an ill way to think. I don't want to be with the man of my dreams, and say "oh I want sex with him to see if we are compatible." Have sex with him, then say "oh he's not compatible in be." Then dump him like I'm on some kind of scavenger hunt.

And about STDs and pregnancy, that's not my biggest issue. I just want to save myself for my husband. And in my opinion, you don't have to be stupid to get pregnancy or get an STD, condoms and other man made things that are suppose to protect against pregnancy and STDs don't always protect against them. That's why its MAN-MADE.

I'm not asking people to tell why I should have sex before marriage, I just simply wonder why people look at me as being boring because I don't have sex. It's like they go around screw guys, talk about how good the guy was in bed then tell me to not have sex. I hate how people try to convince me to have sex too, and I know in my heart I don't want to.

[rcoreyus]

You should of course do what feels right to you, and others should respect your decision.

Sadly though, I think bad sex can ruin a marriage, and there are just too many cases where sex isn't important on one partner and they simply don't try. A typical pattern is that frequent passionate sex is very important to "A", while "B" thinks it is "just" sex and while a nice thing to do, isn't very important.

"A" feels constantly frustrated, does everything they can for "B" in the hopes of getting the sex that is so important to them. "B" starts to feel that all "A" wants out of the relationship is sex and doesn't appreciate anything "A" does for them. "B" feels constantly pressured for sex and wants it even less. "A" feels constantly rejected. Eventually "A" is faced with a choice: Leave the person they love, Cheat, or live an unhappy sexless life.

I see this pattern repeated many times by posters here - and it almost never ends well.

I guess that all I can suggest is that if you are going to wait for sex, you find someone for whom it isn't a very important part of their lives.

But I'd still rather wait, I don't think bad sex alone will make your marriage not work, there have to be other problems in the marriage as well. A couple that love each other can make the best out of their bad sex life if they just try. I feel that if two people care for each other, it shouldn't matter anyway. Sex is sex, to me there should be no good or bad, its just sex for crying out loud. I mean me having sex before I'm ready, just because I want to see if we are compatible in bed, is a silly thing to do. I want to make sure I'm ready and that the guy doesn't just screw me and move on to the next women.

[collegegirl2010]

You should of course do what feels right to you, and others should respect your decision.

Sadly though, I think bad sex can ruin a marriage, and there are just too many cases where sex isn't important on one partner and they simply don't try. A typical pattern is that frequent passionate sex is very important to "A", while "B" thinks it is "just" sex and while a nice thing to do, isn't very important.

"A" feels constantly frustrated, does everything they can for "B" in the hopes of getting the sex that is so important to them. "B" starts to feel that all "A" wants out of the relationship is sex and doesn't appreciate anything "A" does for them. "B" feels constantly pressured for sex and wants it even less. "A" feels constantly rejected. Eventually "A" is faced with a choice: Leave the person they love, Cheat, or live an unhappy sexless life.

I see this pattern repeated many times by posters here - and it almost never ends well.

I guess that all I can suggest is that if you are going to wait for sex, you find someone for whom it isn't a very important part of their lives.

Yes, I think sex is very important in a marriage, but some people that have problems with it in their marriage don't put in the effort to try, but I'm saying that I am willing to try if I have to. I don't want that to be the reason I be with someone, or the reason that I dump them because we aren't compatible. But, in my opinion, there are many more things that are important in a marriage for me to be worrying if we are compatible in bed. The way I feel is that sex will be very important to me, but some people focus TOO much on sex and not other things that build a happy marriage, that can also break a marriage apart. I completely understand what you are saying, but I don't want to lose my virginity for a silly reason like that. And too, I strongly believe in saving myself til marriage, because if I don't I will feel completely destroyed. Not saying this is bad for people that want to do it, but I just don't think this is for me. But what you have said here makes sense though.