[WildChild]

I don't think anyone, female or male who is sexually functional and desires sexual relations with a partner should be expected to live with a situation where their partner is essentially asexual or diverting their sexual energy elsewhere.

We get a lot of people here who are in such mismatched relationships and unwilling to leave and want a way to "fix" their partner. We all put a lot of energy into suggesting ways that might happen but the truth is in most cases nothing will change unless the person with the low/diverted sex drive choses to do something different. The exception to that are cases where the complaining partner's behavior, sometimes over many years, has been a factor in the situation. In that case if and when they learn to change how they are approaching and interacting, this may be rectified.

Miss cannot make her bf stop watching porn and focus his attentions on her. She can make it very clear (no hints) what she wants, how often and that if changes don't occur within a specified time that she won't be there any more. She can go find a man who likes to make the kitty purr.

[missinthelove]

He says his sex drive isn't wasn't use to be. He's gained some weight but I've told him multiple times it does not bother me at all. He recently lost his job and we are both in the middle of taking a 9 months course in 3 month time. He takes care of my 2 year old daughter and loves her like she's his own kin. Im jusr starting to think that he doesn't find me attractive. I was always the one who hinted about sex and got tired of it so just said screw it ill wait till he wants to and its been over 3 months now since we have. We've talked recenly about trying to get pregnant so he can finally have a child of his own. Nd talks about our long term future but maybe he's just stressed and depressed and doesn't want to have sex. Could us going exercising more help at all? Im so lost on what to do now! Ahhhh!

[stressed]

He's worried about his weight, he lost his job, you already have a 2-year old, I don't think having another child right now is a good idea. He could be stressed and worried about the future so that can make him lose his sex drive, although him watching porn complicates matters. Maybe he's worried about having another child (and this IS long term future), even if he'd like to have one of his own. You should probably postpone the new baby until he has a job, feels better about himself and you're both more relaxed.

[jns]

I agree that everything is stressful in his life as it must be in yours. However, he has not forswore sex, only forswore spending the time and energy needed to make you feel good. This is something in his control. I would think he could do this and become proud of the fact that he still gets his SO going even with all else that is going on. You need to talk to him about this. Also, guys don't do hints: tell him straight out what you want.

[missinthelove]

His way on looking about to having a baby is no one is ever fully prepared to have a baby. No matter how prepared you are its never enough. We only have 2 more weeks of class now so hopefully things will be better soon. Also he doesn't mind not working as long as he keeps himself busy around the house with yard work and being productive.

He told me tonight that I've been nagging him lately about stuff and before I never use to. I have been the only person that can put up with his as he says. I honestly don't think its that bad compared to my daughters dad. I've been stressed over this class and money so hopefully this will all change soon!

[missinthelove]

Here's an update. We both passed out EMT class this last weekend. When we found out we both passed I could tell that second both our stress levels that were at a 10 went down to about a 2. Yesterday he went on a ride on his motor bike and wrecked so now his lower back and knee are pretty messed up but im here to help him. Hopefully now things will get better