[oxy-moron]

No- you are on track- you have probably just triggered her Coolidge effect.
Keep up the touch and strokes- dont expect anything from her for a while.

[Tod121]

Sorry to bore you with my personal updates BUT my wife has gone back to being rampant in the bedroom and elsewhere! Our libidos have almost switched, whereas she would only show interest once every 6-8 weeks and I would have been very glad of once\twice a week, she now seems to want it daily!! I am now feeling exhausted and on occasion, rather sore. More new lingerie has appeared and she has asked me to take the day off work for a day long session, with a growing interest in naughty films and books (not porn....yet). The other day I fell asleep in bed when she wanted some action but I had no idea and wondered why the next day she was in a bad mood with me. She explained she wanted some fun and I just rolled over and went to sleep. How ironic!! Just to think, at the beginning of the year it was looking like another draught-of-a-year and now I have to "bat her off with a stick" (so to speak). Im not complaining but for the sake of a LITTLE extra TLC Im now worn out and cant touch or kiss her without ending up half naked, so much for the advice of touch and not expecting anything back!!

[WildChild]

Sorry to bore you with my personal updates BUT my wife has gone back to being rampant in the bedroom and elsewhere! Our libidos have almost switched, whereas she would only show interest once every 6-8 weeks and I would have been very glad of once\twice a week, she now seems to want it daily!! I am now feeling exhausted and on occasion, rather sore. More new lingerie has appeared and she has asked me to take the day off work for a day long session, with a growing interest in naughty films and books (not porn....yet). The other day I fell asleep in bed when she wanted some action but I had no idea and wondered why the next day she was in a bad mood with me. She explained she wanted some fun and I just rolled over and went to sleep. How ironic!! Just to think, at the beginning of the year it was looking like another draught-of-a-year and now I have to "bat her off with a stick" (so to speak). Im not complaining but for the sake of a LITTLE extra TLC Im now worn out and cant touch or kiss her without ending up half naked, so much for the advice of touch and not expecting anything back!!

ROTFLMAO

I don't know if you will get much sympathy for your situation. My guess is that this will balance out after a bit. Go for quality, get a copy of One Hour Orgasm and learn some new non intercourse ways of taking her over the top.

[Tod121]

I am still getting very mixed messages from my wife. I get naughty texts from her while Im at work telling me she is horny and wants me home (I have now gone home for "lunch" a couple of times!!) She has bought what I would call extreme lingerie and spent on £200 on additional lingerie (even though we are deep financial trouble). She sent me an email showing a web site were having a lingerie sell but to cut a long story short she told me she bought a lot more than lingerie including a porn DVD and "something to play with". Slightly distrubed by this but I was also very turned on. She told me all we needed now was some "us time" so we could play. Well what a complete disappointment!!!! I had booked her birthday off months ago and told myself not to expect anything naughty to happen, the plan was to go out to lunch and that's all I told myself that would happen. However, after she bought all her "goodies" I was sooo expecting mega fireworks after our kids had gone to school......but no, not the slightest sign of any interest and she seemed incapable of making conversation which just annoyed me more and more as the day wore on. There is now a bad atmosphere in the house and Im not sure what I had done wrong, did she want me to TAKE HER, after all SHE showed no interest?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

She showed interest, she went out and bought lots of stuff...sure you are in financial problems but she was trying, she showed you what she bought you took it financially, she was inticipating WT? She asked for play time... But I am curious, she asked you to come home, twice.. You talk about her birthday... What happened the two times you went home?

She didn't want conversation she wanted you to be so excited over what she had in store ...Yes she wanted to see you were excited in what she was doing, what she had bought she went to the extreme, porn, lingerie, text messages and you went for conversation

She wanted you to be raunchy, sexual and be in aweeee my goodness, wow, beautiful, sexy, get here.

[Tod121]

She showed interest, she went out and bought lots of stuff...sure you are in financial problems but she was trying, she showed you what she bought you took it financially, she was inticipating WT? She asked for play time... But I am curious, she asked you to come home, twice.. You talk about her birthday... What happened the two times you went home?

She didn't want conversation she wanted you to be so excited over what she had in store ...Yes she wanted to see you were excited in what she was doing, what she had bought she went to the extreme, porn, lingerie, text messages and you went for conversation

She wanted you to be raunchy, sexual and be in aweeee my goodness, wow, beautiful, sexy, get here.

---------

Hi, my wife told me her stuff had been delivered but nothing more has been said about it and she hasnt shown me (I was encourage on this site to sit back and let her take the lead on this, neither of us has had the chance with the kids around to really mention it but that's why her birthday was the perfect time to see and play. The previous 2 times of dashing home at lunchtime was BEFORE her stuff was delivered and this is, I guess where I am drawing my comparisions from; on the 2 lunchtime visits, she had been "waiting" for me and there was NO doubt what was in store and we had a very passionate time. On her Birthday, I took our youngest to school and on the walk back I was very excited by what I might find when I got home but she was still getting ready and I didnt want to barge in and spoil any plan she might of had (I was thinking would she jump on me wearing her new lingerie, would she suggest watching the new DVD 1st and then let things develope, etc, etc I thought she might of had a game plan but instead she came down stairs fully dressed up ready to go out for lunch even though it was hours away. When she came in there was no brushing up against me, no cheeky look in her eye, no flirting, no "how are you sexy", I was waiting for a green light and got nothing. Even when she was still in bed, I lent over to give her a kiss and ask if she wanted a drink, she pulled away saying the kids still needed to be got ready for school, even though I had got them moving and had plenty of time before they needed to go. I knew exacly how I was going to react and what I was going to say when she showed off her new lingerie and how amazed I was going to be when she produced her "play thing" (I was even having sleepless nights for the last week I was sooo excited by the thought of our time together!!) but all she did was walk in and switch the TV on and sat at the far end of the sofa, all dressed up and ready to go out (3 hours early).

[oxy-moron]

Tod121- you are just experiencing a binge and bust cycle caused by the Coolidge effect. I get the same thing and it is hard to rationalise I know.
She will be enthusiastic- start booking sex time in advance - says things like I have been waiting for that all day-you start thinking I cant keep up with this and all of a sudden she turns off the tap for a week or two and then it starts again.
I think the fix is Karezza but both parties have to buy into it for it to be effective.

[Tod121]

So do I cool it too and let her make the moves or press on and encourage her to play? We are about to go away for the Weekend and Ive splashed out on Theatre and expensive hotel.

[oxy-moron]

I guess you have to take the lead form her actions. If she is not in the mood on the big night maybe a slow massage will work. A glass of wine in a candle lit room. Unfortunately its not a science - its more fumbling around in the dark

[Tod121]

Ever worsening...

I went back and read the early posts on this thread and cant believe the highs and lows that I have written (especially the highs which seem sooo long ago now!).
We are currently at breaking (or break up) point, my wife is screaming at everyone, me, our kids and even the pets. It seems that everything anyone says or does right now resorts in my wife loosing it and blames everything on everyone else. We have come to this VERY unpleasant situation and the kids are trying to keep a low profile (staying out with their friends as much as possible) and I feel nervous about saying or doing anything as it may be "wrong" and lead to another argument. People around me tell me that if I was doing something wrong or not pulling my weight, etc they would diplomatically tell me but they feel I am hard working and a great husband and Dad but my wife is treating me like I have done something really bad and is displaying an element of disrespect. I cant get over that we are now at this point despite the fact that I felt that my wife\we were on the brink of a very exciting and sexy point in our lives, i.e. she was turning up the heat in the bedroom with the "promise" of lingerie, toys and naughty DVDs which never really materialised.
I would like to go back and try the massages and the things that seemed to work so well earlier this year but dont know if she'll be responsive or even let me near her, before we got to this stage she was unresponsive to my hug n kisses, keeping the hugs brief and keeping her lips tightly sealed.
I often feel all this is due to her lack of self confidence and a lack of desire to get a job and general low self esteem. The only recreational activities she has is reading and needle work (which I feel close me out while she is doing them but I don't stop her, its her “me” time).
You lot have been great in the past, any useful advice now?