[cessca14]

Hi,

I'm struggling to reach orgasm with my partner-i seem to get very close when he fingers me (never through sex) it feels amazing always. I get a whole sense of intense feeling of pleasure, and i feel like about to literally explode, I feel hot, i get goosebumps and an intense tingling sensation, and the though it literally lasts a few seconds but they are so intense and i just want more and more but no orgasm. I feel as though I'm so close yet can't power through.

Also once done i feel a great need to just relax and just shut down. Afterward I can't bear for him to continue as I feel so sensitive in that area (and normally so mad at myself)! I don't know what to do as I can't seem to climax through masturbation either and therefore can't advise him on what to do, Please help, I feel as though I'm letting him down and starting to really hate myself!

opinions and advice would be great
thanks
C x

[Mes T]

Uhhh. Why do you feel you're letting HIM down? It's not HIM that's having climax issues, is it! That's step one: you gotta see yourself as someone who deserves to have a climax, NOT someone who needs to do so to please her boyfriend. Come on girlie!

Secondly I think the first step is to really learn how to do it on your own, before you can teach your partner to do it. It's not always easy for ourselves, we who know our bodies so well... so how can we expect another person to magically learn to do it for us?

I had my first one with a vibrator. I've since discontinued use of it but it was great to at least get that FIRST one, so I knew exactly what kind of feeling I was going for.

Get some naughty books or videos or whatever turns you on and choose an evening to spend just on yourself, no boys allowed.

If you're getting too sensitive to be touched at all when he does it, then he's doing it completely wrong.

[FortunsFoole]

Is there clitoral stimulation involved?

This used to happen to me frequently too. We called it the "Oh-oh-almost"'s. I figured out that, for me at least, there's such thing as too much of a good thing. The intense sensations that I thought were taking me to orgasm would turn from intensely good feeling to causing me pain, so I wasn't able to climax and we'd have to stop. I'd be sore and ticked at myself, feeling like a failure to my partner. He himself feeling like he was letting me down because I was so upset at myself. All the negative thoughts had a really bad effect on our sex life and especially my libido. In my experience it's really hard to get there putting so much pressure on yourself to perform.

Just an idea that maybe the sensation is too intense? Also I've noticed the more turned on I am the more hmm... fleshed-out(if that makes sense) that things seem to get and it almost acts like a buffer for the intense sensations.

I totally agree with Mes_T about learning yourself and keep trying to bring yourself to climax through masturbation. I had my first one with a vibrator as well.

[waya]

Actually, it sounds like you might be having little ones but i don't know. Try starting out slowly and gently and building up to the really intense sensations. Or have him (or yourself, if you're masturbating) only do the touches that give you the most intense feeling for a few seconds then back off and do something softer in a different area then go back to the intense zone.

Are you both mainly focusing on your clit? Personally, there are times when I'm too aroused to orgasm from clitoral stimulation and I need my g-spot stimulated instead.

[cessca14]

yeah i'll try masturbating, i have tried stimulating my clit with my fingers but i don't really feel anything. but is there anything you suggest i do when it gets to that intense anythingg to induce the orgasm?