[CHANDLERS WISH]

You can request but firstly some posters won't see that request and secondly you are right, you place a question onto a Forum, anyone can take any context of that thread and reply, as well as, anyone including new posters that haven't visited this thread can reply...

However, this is what you want us to focus on, not how you obtained the information or your past..

My concern is not whether my telling her will get in the way of us being together. My concern is whether my telling her will be positive or negative for her recovery of broken trust.

In my opinon negative, purely because it's 1 in a million to locate that type of information having known her for such a short period of time and that she has never informed you of any of her sexual past, nor has she off by memory even engaged in sex with you.

This discussion is reserved for a "friend" and only a friend, or a woman you intend to marry which means a relationship together and time.

CW

[need a female perspective]

You can request but firstly some posters won't see that request and secondly you are right, you place a question onto a Forum, anyone can take any context of that thread and reply, as well as, anyone including new posters that haven't visited this thread can reply...

However, this is what you want us to focus on, not how you obtained the information or your past..



In my opinon negative, purely because it's 1 in a million to locate that type of information having known her for such a short period of time and that she has never informed you of any of her sexual past, nor has she off by memory even engaged in sex with you.

This discussion is reserved for a "friend" and only a friend, or a woman you intend to marry which means a relationship together and time.

CW

So I also have an online secret now. I will keep a copy of this forum as an insurance to demonstrate that my decision to remain silent was not made lightly if it should ever blow up in my face.

This ties in with one of the ways I try to explain things in which I make comparisons with mirrors and magnets, it seems best to stick with what I know. As a rule I have never had in-depth discusions about ex boyfriends or girlfriends. Except with this girl, where I did talk about the end of my last relationship, I told her my worst and it didn't scare her. She didn't tell me her worst, but I found it, and it didn't scare me.

One of the first posters asked me if there was nothing that gave me nudge, and I've been thinking back on that night. There was a guy who came over to our table and complimented her extensively on her smile, at a moment when she was not smiling. I am an observant person, and pick up on details. It was not the guy who gave me the nudge, it was her reaction. That could mean that she knows about the video, and is fully informed.

Even if the above hypothisis does not mean that she knows about the video, it wraps it up nicely for me, and I can drop the issue.

Could anyone tell me how to close this forum?

[need a female perspective]

Could anyone tell me how to close this forum?

I meant thread of course, the forum has been helpfull.

It was a new experience to actively participate in a internet forum, and I might repeat it some time in the future. But for now I have had an internet overdosis and need to recover.

[srussell]

I wasn't going to post this but it may prove helpful to the OP.....I hope it does.

I'm in my second year of college and one of my best three girlfriends goes to another college one state over. During our senior year, months before graduating high school, the three of us went to Mardi Gras in New Orleans. All of us had a bit to drink and on occasion as the day progressed my friend would loose inhibitions and flashed onlookers twice. One of the pics showed up on the web and was found by a guy at her college just before Christmas of this year, so it took all of maybe a year and a half to find her flash picture online. I don't know how long he had been looking or was he even looking for her at all......how he found it......how he had clues to find it......was it an accidental find or anything that might lead to those answers. I just know that when she raised her top guys were taking pictures and she worried when her mind became more clear of what might come of those pics.

She didn't tell anyone and we three made a pact to keep it a secret. She didn't even tell her parents. When the picture came out, she was totally embarrassed because someone posted it at a dining hall on campus and she doesn't even know who found it. It was obviously her because part of her two friends are in the picture but the only embarrassing thing was that she had her top up. She doesn't even know where the pic is on the net to try to start a process of getting it removed.

I don't know if this helps but I hope so.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Seems you are more inquisitive and I think it's good that you can read body language, it helps us through life.

We hope that you use this Forum for any questions, remember you are anonymous...

And, we do respect our member's requests... As such, thread closed.

CW